We're in trouble. Daddy's watching Shenandoah.
No, not the one where Jimmy Stewart beats all odds to preserve his family.
You know when they crank up the theme song, Dad's gonna blow like a geyser.
“The Gas Station Show” · Season 6, Episode 23
In this episode: Peg (4), Al Bundy (3), Kelly Bundy (3), Bud Bundy (3)
Can we just skip through the speech, Al, and get straight to the punishment that you will inflict upon us for being your family? What is it this time, honey? You gonna get out the horseshoe set? Boys against the girls bocce? (with dread in her voice): Oh, no, Al. Not the "Boo-Hoo with You-Know-Who At The Zoo".
Al (as he gets up from the couch): No, Peg, because we're not allowed in the zoo, thanks to young Mr. Bundy who answered the question: "What happens when you feed a panda Pop Rocks?"
At least I have a little intellectual curiosity. (to Kelly): And I wasn't the one pointing at the leopard yelling, "How many animals died for that coat?"
Well, at least I didn't pull my pants down and moon the monkeys.
(Bud and Kelly turn to Peg, who hangs her head in shame)
Well, at least I didn't turn her in.
Well, at least I didn't ask the girl chimp to my prom.
Bud (defensively): Hey, now that was a hot chimp!
That's sick! That's sick!
(Bud and Kelly begin strangling each other, their conversation overlapping)
Families are meant to be together.
But we don't wanna be together.
You have no choice.
We're going to take a Sunday drive.
Kelly (picks up her head): In the Dodge? (shrieks, and buries her face in Bud's shoulder)
Just for that, you ride in the back seat with your mother.
I'm not going to tell you now, but I have a special surprise in mind.
You got a bumper sticker that says, "My Other Car is My Feet"?
You used your finger to make a really cool racing stripe in the dirt on the side of the car?
You got a new 8-track of "Hotel California"? We can crank it as we're towed down the freeway?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Married... with Children pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.