Mom! Bud's got more fingers then I do.
Did you count both hands, honey?
Oh.
“She's Having My Baby: Part 2” · Season 6, Episode 2
In this episode: Al Bundy (3), Jefferson D'Arcy (2), Peg (1), Kelly Bundy (1)
BBartender
So, where you headed, pal?
Oh, I don't know. Some place where there's a lot of girls and no women.
BBartender
Oh, L.A.!
Al sees man with head buried on bar
Hey pal, you want to hear about a real jackass? See, I have this neighbor, Jefferson, who is a real doormat to his wife. Why just the other day he...
Man lifts up head to reveal himself as Jefferson
AUGH! Oh, I mean there are so many guys named Jefferson...
No worries Al, I am leaving Marcy.
Really?? How come?
It was the baby convention that did it. All those swollen bellies and screaming infants proved too much for me.
Waitress in a low-cut leotard is in bar, gaining men's attention
WWaitress
Beer! Candy! Forged backgrounds!
How much would it be to get a background of a retired NFL player?
WWaitress
$200.
Rats, too expensive! What can I get for $1?
WWaitress
The background of a shoe salesman from Illinois.
Just give me some gum. Waitress departs I do not need a forged background; I can invent my own. My new name will be...Al unwraps gum...Bazooka Joe!
Good one. I can reinvent myself as...Jefferson looks at beer can...Anheuser Busch!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Married... with Children pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.