They think back: "Let's see... who was the last person in the bank on Saturday? Who had the opportunity? Why, it was Rhoades. No wonder he called in sick today. Well, let's turn down his car loan and give him twenty years to life". Of course I'll turn you in, and as soon as we're both behind bars, I'm going to kill you. And if I can't do it myself, I'll make sure my boyfriend's bigger than yours.
“If I Were a Rich Man” · Season 2, Episode 3
In this episode: Al Bundy (4), Steve Rhoades (2), Peggy Bundy (1)
[The radio plays during a view of the empty Bundy household.]
AAnnouncer
And on a local note, tragedy was narrowly averted moments ago, when a sobbing woman and her two hysterical children were talked down from a ledge on the Sears Tower. It's believed to be the first family suicide attempt in Chicago history. The woman was quoted as sobbing, "Shoes! He sells shoes!"
[Al enters the house.]
I'm home!
Listen, Al. Monday, when they check the duty roster, one word is gonna come down from above: Rhoades. And I will have one word for them: Bundy.
Listen, Steve. I didn't take it!
AL! We're talkin' 20 to 50 with chainsaw killers. And don't think I'm servin' time alone, bunkie. If I'm going to be playing in the showers with maniacs, you're gonna be passing the soap!
I can't believe it. Everybody in the world is making money.
Oh, honey that's not true. You're not.
Kelly (as she's writing down the things she can buy with the money Al allegedly took): A cashmere sweater, a CD player...(lustfully): David Lee Roth chained to my bed!
Some fat woman came into the store and yelled at me. And she went out and fell right on her ass.
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