[To audience] Nothing like two days in the hospital to make you appreciate your own home.
[Reese takes tub of popcorn from Malcolm.]
Oh my God! Look at Malcolm's hospital bill! I can't imagine how much it would've cost if he'd actually gotten the surgery.
Well, there goes our summer vacation.
So we have to pay, even though he was faking?
I wasn't faking! I was the one who found out they were wrong.
Well, if you're so smart, why didn't you figure it out sooner?
[Everyone stares at Malcolm]
Well, son, would you like to field that one for us?
[To audience] Nothing like ten seconds at home to make you appreciate the hospital!
I'm not kidding, it's really sore.
Alright! That's enough! I don't care what assignment you didn't do or what test you didn't study, you're still going to school.
You know, now you mentioned it...
Dewey, don't be frightened, but there's a spider next to you.
Yeah, Dad. There's always a spider on Bacon Day.
Why do I have to stay in the kids' ward?
I'm sorry, honey, but you're six months too young to have an adult room.
I hear if you're really good, they'll put apple juice in your sippy cup.
Reese, give your brother a hug.
(gives Malcolm a hug) If you tell anyone I hugged you, I'm putting you back in here.
Dewey, you're wearing my shirt.
CFCadet Finley
I can't take this anymore. If I don't eat, I'm gonna pass out!
CFCadet Finley
Who are you?
CDCadet Drew
I'm your roomate.
The strike has been settled! (the cadets cheer) We got his magic hat!
Dewey [while playing a board game]: Hey, we look like the family on the box. (the family agrees) Can I be the little girl?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Malcolm in the Middle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
