(to the camera) You know, why plan my future when it's just gonna be a wall of paint crashing down on me? I'm just gonna enjoy being a kid again.
Francis, I want you to count all the malt balls. (hands Francis a clipboard and a pen as he walks off)
Should I start with the 40 in your belly?
I heard that... and I'm paying for those.
Boys, I need to speak to your father alone.
So? You have a bedroom, we're eating!
Lois [to Hal]: You quit because a 6-year-old told you your job was awful?
You should have seen it, Mom. He made Dad cry.
The boy was cruel... but fair.
There's got to be 500 gallons of paint up there.
There isn't... yeah, that's about right.
This is good meat loaf. New recipe?
Nope. Same as it's always been.
Ah, come on.
Oh, you know what, I ran out of tomato sauce and used ketchup instead.
Look out! Paint-a-lanche!!
Lois [to Hal]: You are gonna finish it!
(filled with rage since he can't finish the painting) Fine! You want to see me finish it! I'll finish it!!! (picks up some paint and splashes it around the board) How about some here... and there... how about there??? (suddenly pauses and looks at the painting and fixes a few things and completes it)
Awesome!
Hal, I can't believe you did it. It's beautiful.
(happily) I did it!
Any questions?
Which household product will kill me the fastest?
We're going to start you off with the cotton balls.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Malcolm in the Middle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.