Reese, she's four years old. You're bigger and smarter... well, you're bigger than her.
Lois [to Hal]: What are you looking at?
Reese's report card, it is much better than last time.
Really?
Yeah, this time he used the exact same brand pen as the teacher to change his grade.
Look at that, he gave himself a "C" in math instead of "A+".
Yeah, it's subtle, nice attention to detail. He's really learning. Two months grounded?
3 months, scrubbing toilets.
Reese [to Malcolm]: Relax. Everyone will think Josh is a thief. His parents will be tied up in court, and Emily will be thrown into a foster home where she'll bite her foster parents, who will leave her at the side of the road, and she can spend the rest of her life biting hillbillies on the interstate.
Yeah, and that kid, Josh, told everyone I was born with both sex organs and raised as a girl until I was five.
Their gnome wants to eat me. It's evil.
They're all evil, sweetie.
AHH! Get away from me! AH! Get away from me!
Uh, your daughter is biting my son.
She won't let go!
TTina
Oh, look, they're just playing.
Ow, it hurts! It hurts! Mommy! Oww! Ow!
[Lois calmly goes over to where Emily is biting Reese's leg, then reaches down and pinches her nose shut.]
Now, honey, if you want to breathe, you're gonna have to open your mouth and let go of my son.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Malcolm in the Middle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.