No one would even touch these after Natalia said, "I don't eat meat wrapped in meat.".
That's crazy. The outside meat enhances the flavor of the inside meat.
S1 E21Lopez vs Bucket Crabs
S1 E22Lopez vs Last Call
[Chance Lopez is shown wearing a George Lopez costume.]
Orale! I'm George Lopez! Oh, my God.
Chance, what are you doing?
Practicing for my hero presentation. Let me tell you about a day in the life of a hero like me. I wake up at 7 and crack open a beer. Then I notice I have a cool, new bruise. Whoa! Where did that come from? And then I shrug and go back to sleep, because thinking is hard.
[Chance Lopez sleeps on the couch, then he wakes up.]
Uh-oh! It's noon. Time to cough in the bathroom for 10 minutes, then have another beer for lunch.
That really how you see me, Gordo?
Yeah, you're a cool 85-year-old who does what he wants. You are my hero.
No, I'm not, Gordo. A hero sets a better example for a kid.
All right. But don't tell my teacher that, because I'm one gold star away from a personal pan pizza.
S2 E1Lopez vs Sobriety
This morning, you blamed me because you missed breakfast.
Because you ate mine.
I thought sober, he'd be loving, considerate, patient. I was expecting Mexican Tom Hanks.
On the count of 3. 1, 2, 3!
[Rosie throws the game controller to the floor, and the game controller is now broken. Chance Lopez becomes sad and he bursts into tears.]
You broke my controller!
What the hell are you doing?
What?
Nachos are a finger food, like steak or soup.
All aboard. Here comes the blame train. Choo-choo!
Who said you can't have fun sober?
[final lines]
S2 E2Lopez vs Moving On
[first lines]
I parked on your flowers again.
We're friends with benefits.
They overpaid!
Gracias, señor.
Eyes closed. Open them.
[Mayan Lopez opens her eyes.]
Ta-da!
S2 E3Lopez vs Swap Meet
[first lines]
Is the TV still broken?
If it wasn't, I'd be watching it.
You ruined Churro's favorite show!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lopez vs Lopez pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.