Rosie quotes from Lopez vs Lopez

Rosie

I'm here. But if anyone asks, I was never here.

Rosie

Well, let me give you something to really think about.

Rosie

That man is obsessed with me.

Rosie

Why are you being so rude to Josué?

Rosie

We need to shut this down.

Rosie

Mi vida, open up.

Rosie

Spit.

Rosie

Don't touch it and try not to stress. It might make it worse.

Rosie

I'm here.

Rosie

Wrong.

Rosie

That's not true. We harmed a lot of butterflies.

George Lopez

You see, Rosie, when a man cheats, he doesn't lead with "Do you come here often? I don't, because I have a wife and kid."

Rosie

So what you're saying is, you didn't just hurt me. You hurt Bunny too.

George Lopez

I'm not worried. I'm the sniffing glue that holds this family together.

Rosie

Don't be so sure. She not only let you back in her life. She opened her home to you. So when you don't respect her boundaries, it's triggering.

George Lopez

Wow, you learned a lot in therapy.

George Lopez

All Latino kids drink it. My mom's breast milk went straight into my coffee. Didn't stunt my growth.

Rosie

It's true. His head is still growing.

George Lopez

(on the phone) Hey, what's up? Aw, man, how you doin'? It's been a long time, huh? It's good to hear from you, man. Yeah, we need to get a beer. All right, later. (high-pitched voice) Bye.

Mayan Lopez

Who was that?

George Lopez

Um, Verizon.

Rosie

He always uses phone companies when he's lying. He used to get a ton of calls from a hoochie named Pacific Bell.

George Lopez

It's just, uh, Don Patino.

George Lopez

Come on, Mayan, talk to me.

Mayan Lopez

Not right now. I'm pretending these moles are your head.

George Lopez

I just thought once you saw Don that you'd remember the good times.

Mayan Lopez

No. I remember what he does to you. The old Dad I couldn't rely on comes back when Don's around. I mean, he's been here one day and you've already lied to me. Mom and I want nothing to do with him.

Rosie

Look what your godfather got me. I feel like a cartel leader's wife.

Mayan Lopez

Are you really forgiving Don just because he bought you a coat that makes you look like Mary J. Blige?

Rosie

I haven't necessarily forgiven him, but a fur coat is a good start. I'm gonna go see what this looks like in front of the fun mirrors.

George Lopez

See? Don's a good guy, Mayan, and he's missed you. Guess what he named Flyin' Mayan?

Mayan Lopez

A strain of weed?

George Lopez

No, but side hustle. He named his racehorse after you.

Mayan Lopez

A horse is supposed to make up for ripping my family apart?

George Lopez

Yes. It's a thoroughbred, Mayan. It was thoroughly bred. But listen, I know you blame Don for everything that I did wrong, but I make my own bad decisions. So if you're be mad at somebody, be mad at me.

Mayan Lopez

I am mad at you!

George Lopez

Why? What did I do?