Wayne quotes from Letterkenny

Katy

Relationships. It's a lot of work.

Do what you love....

Wayne

And you'll never work a day in your life.

Wayne

Don't you remember when that plane had to land on the river in New York 'cause Canada Gooses flew into the engine? It's 'cause Canada Gooses likely had intel there was a pedophile or two on board and took matters into their own hands. As they should!

Daryl

No innocent people hurt either.

Dan

You gotta respect athleticisms, Connor Moist-Gregor, Conner Moist-David, Floyd Moist-Weather. Why, they're all at the top of their classes.

Daryl

They're all driving Moist-eradis, that's all I know.

Wayne

May even a Rolls Moist. Or maybe a Moist-cedes Benz.

Daryl

No Moist-subishis Eclipses in this bunch.

Dan

They're not using Capital One Moister-Cards.

Wayne

Buerger's Disease

Katy

Was it Buerger's ?

Wayne

Yes, Buerger's

Daryl

Didn't she get treated at the Mayo Clinic?

Wayne

Yes. She got her Buerger's treated with Mayo.

Katy

Did she do that to catch up to the competition? Did she ketchup?

Wayne

Yes. And despite her Buerger's , she never beefed with anyone.

Daryl

She relished a challenge. That was a challenge that she relished.

Wayne

She worked her buns off. She worked the buns off her Buerger's .

Daryl

No cheesy moves.

Katy

Let us all be inspired by her. Lettuce.

Wayne

No hot-dogging. Just Buerger's .

Wayne

All this brotherhood talk's gotta stop, as it's not certain yous don't suck each other off.

Daryl

You givin' his flute a little toot?

Wayne

I think he'd give his flute a big hoot.

Daryl

Oh, a big 'ole mouthful of bell-end.

Wayne

You're so fuckin' Five-Eleven

Daryl

You are an anchor, bud.

Daryl

I was reading about this thing called "Beat Your Dick December".

Dan

"Beat Your Dick December?" What's the rumpus, Grumpus?

Daryl

Well, you look at the calendar, and if it's like the first, or second, or third, that's how many times a day you need to mix a batch.

Dan

So on the twentieths of Decembers, you gots to mix twenty separate batches?

Daryl

You got it.

Wayne

So it's thirty days hath September.....June and November...December has 31 - so on the 31st, you have to batch 31 times?

Daryl

You heard it here first.

Dan

How's he going to fuck that pigs?

Daryl

Well, from the 1st to the 5th, you're having a good time. Even up until the tenth. Mmm, by the 12th you're starting to fade and by the 15th you're definitely not full bars.

Dan

Oh, I don't think I could continue past the 15th.

Daryl

Yeah, me neither. Wayne?

Wayne

Yup.

Dan

You're saying you could batch 15 times on the 15th, despite the fact that you batched 14 times on the day before, 13 times the day before that, and sos on and sos forth?

Wayne

Yup.

Daryl

Could you - could you do twenty?

Wayne

Yup.

Daryl

Gotta stay hydrated.

Wayne

Well, fuckin' Alexander!

This is where the dicks hang out.

Wayne

Oh, that's right - Gailor told me you were helpin' with cleanup here now, eh?

You shake it more than once, we know what you're doin'.

Wayne

How long you been at it?

48 fiscal hours.

Wayne

Boy, that's more than enough time to see a nightmare or two around here, eh?

Sometimes there's shit... on the outside of the torlet.

Wayne

...Huh?

Sometimes there's shit... on the outside of the torlet.

Wayne

Huh. Is that right?

You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

Wayne

...Uh?

You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

Wayne

It get pretty hairy over there, or-

Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

Wayne

What?

Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

Wayne

Fuck a duck. Well, how do you think it got there?

Remember how I said sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet?

Wayne

Yeah?

Well, I bet the shit got on the outside of the urinus the same way the shit got on the outside of the torlet.

Wayne

Isn't that something.

This piss now streaming! ...Wayne.

Wayne

No.

How're-you-now-not-s'bad-good-n'you. Alexander!

Out there, you're Canadian... in here, you're-a-peein.

Oh, shit... looks like someone un-swallowed over there.

You think that's bad? Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet.

Huh?!

You think that's bad, sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet.

Well, I spray the seat from time to time when I got crap on top, but I never miss the bowl entirely. Fuckin' degens, need to mind their scruples.

You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

Huh?

You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

Mm. Pretty hairy o'er there?

Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

What?!

Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

Well, how the fuck did shit get there?

Remember how I said sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet?

Feels like you told me that nearly a year ago now.

Wayne

Yeah, we're kinda burnin' daylight here, eh?

Mhm!

I bet the shit got on the outside of the urinus the same way the shit got on the outside of the torlet.

Oh... well, no offense or nothin', but I think I'd rather just piss outside, Alexander.

Wayne

I just came in here to wash my hands.

Why'd you wash your hands?

Wayne

Had a dart?

Mm, well, I'd have a dart.

Wayne

Maybe I'd have a dart with you and just wash my hands after that dart.

'ey, gents? I know how the shit got on the outside of the torlet and also the urinus... but why would someone take a shit on the outside of the torlet and also the urinus?