[At the Agricultural Hall, McMurray motions to move excess coat hangers from the rear hall to the front hall].
Wayne'kay.
Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, look at me, Wayne, Wayne. There is a tried, tested, and true system at work here, and as President of the Agricultural Hall, I must demand it be respected. One member makes a motion. Then another member seconds that motion.
Wayne
Second, 'kay.
Wayne
Well, it's the second time I said, 'kay.
Wayne
You wanna know what, I'm all out of seconds, bud.
Wayne
Well, this is taking too many seconds is what I'm saying.
Well, you only have to second once.
Wayne
All right, give me a second.
So are you saying that you second or you need a second?
Wayne
Well, one second.
All right, Wayne you shall be given one second.
(everyone pauses while Wayne looks away)
While Wayne is taking a second....
Wayne
I second the fucking motion, McMurray, now move the fucking coat hangers!
Well, nots to be impolites, but this gal suggested that maybe I should have some attentions paids to my butts hole. That ever happen to you guys, you ever had a gal suggest you need some attention paid to your butts hole?
Daryl and Wayne turn away from Squirrrelly Dan and ignore him while tossing the ball only to each other.
I'll take that as a hard no, I guess? She put a couple of fingers up there, and it turns you got - uh - an erogenous zone - up there.....Found the - uh - the hot button and - um - gaves it a tickle.....and, uh.....(increasingly high-pitched) yeah - feels, uh.
(defiantly) It feels pretty good, you guys, okay?
DTDaryl, to Wayne
Pop fly! (throws ball)
I really liked it! It felt - it felt very natural.
WTWayne, to Daryl
Nice! (throws ball back).
They call it 'milking the prostate'.
Wayne, later: Well, it's impolite to kiss and tell.
Maybe they tranq'd the ostrich.
Like they roofied the ostrich?
Wayne
You wanna know what? You should feel bad for even suggesting the Ginger and Boots fucked an ostrich. Bad gas travels real fast in a small town. My research concludes that the only way the Ginger and Boots could have fucked an ostrich is if it was a dead ostrich.
Glen (riding past on a bicycle): A dead ostrich??? I thought it was just sick, oh my!
Glen makes a phone call and can be heard saying, "Ginny? The Ginger and Boots effed a dead ostrich!
Wayne
Oh, bother.
Katy and Wayne are discussing an amount of money they will invest into the Letterkenny community.
Well, how do you want to fuck this pig?
Wayne
Better put it on your fuckin' Facebook.
Wayne
Let's get at 'er.
Daryl and Squirrelly Dan are discussing a business venture that will, amongst other things, 'condemn homosexuals'.
What do you have against homosexuals?
Me? Nothing. LQBT is all rights with me.
So why do you want to condemn them?
Wayne
Yeah?
We seens it on the TV shows.
WKWayne and Katy
We know.
We actually seens it on two TV shows.
WKWayne and Katy
We know.
One was the TV show we seens it on, and then the other was a news program about what we seens on the TV show.
WKWayne and Katy
We know.
But those guys were popular, and they looks like they were having lots of funs, so we just figured if we did whats they did....
...then we'd have lots of fun too.
Wayne
All's I'm saying is that it's a little bit hypocritical for us to be mad at degens from up country for not respecting our St. Patrick's Day party when we, ourselves, are not respecting St. Patrick. I'm just saying if somebody's got their fucking day, give them their fucking day.
You aren't even religious.
Wayne
Who's got that kind of money?
Wayne
You wanna know what, so long as everyone's having a good time, ain't no reason to be a poopy-pants.
Everyone is not having a good time.
Wayne
Well, so long as most people are having a good time, ain't no reason to be a poopy-pants.
Most people are not having a good time.
Wayne
Is anyone having a good time?
Wayne
Then I shall be a poopy-pants.
RRosie
It's not easy telling a guy you don't want to see him because you want to stay in and read.
Let's test this theory. Dary, say you asked Bonnie McMurray out on a date and she says I'm going to stay in and read.
Oh, she's definitely up to something.
Wayne
Must be a pretty good book. Must be like… The Road.
Letterkenny · 57 quotes
