Ava Sharpe quotes from Legends of Tomorrow

Sara

All right, Time bros --

Ava

And Time ladies.

Charlie

And Time monsters

Mona

And Gary?

Sara

As I was saying: Legends... our work here is done. Gideon, fire up the ship! It's time to hit it.

Ava

Okay, big smiles everyone. And nobody mention Oliver Queen.

Mona

Why?

Ava

Because he died.

Nate

Shouldn't have done the crossover.

Ava

Uh, Ray! Who else saved the multiverse?

Ray

Oh, uh, well The Flash, Supergirl, Batwoman.

Ava

Cool.

Ray

Yeah.

Nate

What, no Superman? Couldn't have been that big of a deal.

Ray

Oh, no, no, Superman was there. He's very handsome.

Ray

Look, Sara, we're really sorry. We thought we could make things easier for you by taking this off your plate.

Sara

And risking your own necks. Look, I already have one dead friend on my plate. I'm good there. And you know, none of you self-absorbed mega stars even bothered to ask me how I was doing.

Ava

Look, Sara, I told them not to mention Oliver, okay? I thought you wouldn't want to be reminded.

Sara

Reminded? What, did you think that I could just forget that my friend died?

Ava

No, I - look, I know things have been crazy around here.

Sara

Crazy around here? You still have no idea what I saw out there.

Nate

What did happen?

Sara

Countless Earths died. I became a paragon and traveled back to the big bang. We restarted the universe and now no one even remembers what we've changed.

Ava

That's a lot to process.

Sara

Yeah, I know. So you could see why I would wanna talk to my friends about it. And instead I get cameras in my face.

Ray

Where am I? What happened?

Sara

Don't think, Ray, just enlarge.

Ray

Why is it so dark in here? Am I in a lake? A-A lake that smells like pierogies?

Ava

Ray, do it! Get big now!

Ray

Embigify. Your atomic number is up.

Sara

Now, Ray!

Ray

Size... matters! [as he enlarges, Rasputin explodes from the inside] Oh, no. What did... what did I do?

Nate

You found your catchphrase, Ray!

Mick

What the hell?

Mona

Raw meat.

Behrad Tarazi

Question is...

Nate

Did you get the shot, Kevin?

[shell-shocked and covered in blood] Uh, yeah, I-I... I got it.

Sara

Hey, don't give Ava a hard time for getting on stage, all right? I don't want her to be too embarrassed.

Mick

She's not gonna remember a thing.

Ava

[entering, drunk] Well, helloo! Ha! Where's my invite to this party, Mickey boy? [she grabs and takes a swig from his beer]

Mick

I spat in that. Old prison habit.

Zari

Behrad, we can make millions of future false trends reports!

Ava

No, no. Rule number one of time travel: Never look into the future for personal gain.

Zari

[dismissive while scrolling on her phone] Totally, totally.

Ava

And rule number two: No social media on the ship. [Zari hands her phone to Behard] I thought we were dropping you off.

Zari

My brother, the actual superhero, invited me to stay.

Ava

Oh. Kay. Let's just remember this is a place of business, okay? We get called on a mission, you need to keep out of our way.

Zari

[mockingly] Aye, aye.

Ava

Okay. [to Behrad] We'll talk later. [leaves]

Zari

Sad, what a waste of a good head of hair.

Behrad

Here you go. [returns her phone] Hide it.

Zari

Can your computer lady make me some cucumber water? I'm parched from that dry interaction.

Ava

[over intercom] Interim Captain Sharpe here. Team meeting in the parlour. Over and out. [continues without realising the intercom is still on] Okay, that was good. That was fun, but to the point. Not too... Gideon, are you broadcasting this?

Gideon

Sorry Miss Sharpe, I'll shut it down.

Ava

Okay, thank you! We women have to stick together.

Nate

[entering] I always thought of you as one of the guys.

Ava

Okay, I don't know what that means...

Behrad

[entering] He means it as a compliment.

Gideon

It would appear that there is a disturbance at the Bastille in Paris, 1793. While the details are still hazy, the aftermath is traumatic. Thousands die and the French Revolution collapses.

Ava

Well looks like we have a mission. So everybody stop looking so Les Misérables because we are going to France!

Zari

I've been trying to get people to like me for so long that I've forgotten who I really am. I have millions of followers but zero friends.

Ava

You got one.

Sara

Okay, I think I have these stupid crostinis right. How's the salad?

Ava

Uh, just needs to be dressed, and then there's the soup.

Sara

How many courses did Ray have planned?

Ava

By my count, five. Six, if you include cocktails.

Sara

Come on, Ray! Nobody gets laid after six courses.

Ava

You adopted Son of Sam's demon dog.

Gary

Oh, my God. At least I didn't buy from a breeder.

Ava

What are you not telling me?

Sara

What are you not telling me? There's a kid on the ship?

Ava

I...

Sara

[a dog barks in the distance] And a dog? Ava!

Ava

Gary has an emotional support animal. He had a signed letter!

Sara

That's not a thing!

Ava

So, I was thinking maybe later we could...

Sara

Try blindfolding you?

Ava

Stop reading my mind, or it's gonna get awesome!

Ava

And a reformed thief turned romance novelist.

Mick

Who you calling reformed?