Mick Rory quotes from Legends of Tomorrow

Amaya

There you are, Mick. You ready?

Mick

For what?

Amaya

Training. Do you remember? We spoke about learning to harness the powers of the totem.

Mick

Hmm. I know a neat trick. [extends his index finger] Pull my finger.

Amaya

What?

Mick

Pull my finger. [Amaya reaches for Mick's finger]

Zari

Do not pull his finger. Let's just say hot dogs aren't the only thing he's learned how to light on fire.

Nate

Look, just somebody's gotta say it, so I'm gonna say it–

Zari

This is all our fault.

Nate

Apparently I'm not gonna say it, but... yeah. We let Mallus out.

Mick

Well, whose stupid idea was it to fight him with some... magic necklaces?

Amaya

It wasn't the totems that failed. It was us.

Zari

Yeah, we might want to rethink that whole "We screw up things for the better" motto.

Sara

Hey, Z. If you had to sleep with one, which one would it be?

Zari

How can you even tell them apart?

Ray

Well, Paul is the cute one, George is the quiet one, there's Ringo --

Mick

I never met an Englishman I haven't wanted to punch in the face.

Nate

Relax, Mick. If it wasn't for the British Invasion, there'd be no Rolling Stones, no Led Zep,.... no Black Sabbath.

Mick

Black Sabbath.

Nate

Nope.

Mick

Well, then, we ... we need to protect these mopheads from whatever's screwing up history.

Nate

That's right, Mick.

Zari

Prudence, this is your fairy godmother?

Yes. She protects me.

Sara

By hurting other people.

Fairy Godmother

Not at all. I only want to help little Prudence. For you see,

Ray

Is that music?

Fairy Godmother

[continuing her song]

Mick

Shut up.

Ray

Well, I didn't want her to stop singing.

Charlie

Bloke like you doesn't strike me as a jailer. I believe we're more alike than you think. You look like you've been on the inside.

Mick

That's right.

Charlie

Then how do you sleep at night? Hanging out with these jailer-mates of yours?

Mick

Alcohol.

Mick

You must've had balls to survive that hellhole.

Charlie

Did what I had to. Shapeshifted into whatever monster would keep the others off my back. You know exactly what it's like. Pretending to be something worse than you are to survive.

Mick

Well, there's that. And there's finding someone you trust. I did time in Supermax with my old partner. It's hard to plot against a team.

Charlie

I spent all my time shapeshifting and running. I never stuck around one place long enough to find anyone who I could trust.

Mick

Well,... you gotta start somewhere.

Why couldn't I just tell sober, grounded stories instead of indulging in these silly monsters?

Mick

Sober and grounded's boring. You had a story to tell and you told it. You brought that monster to life. And don't pretend for a second you're not a little bit proud.

I was so afraid of what people would think of my creation. And now that it's here in the flesh,...

Mick

Story complete.

And I... no longer have to fear... what was locked inside my head.

Mick

No. No, you don't.

Your creation was... magnificent.

Mick

I was thinking about a fourth boob.

Three was plenty.

Mick

Huh. Listen, on this end, forget about the octopus. Lizards. Lizards are king. [departs]

[speaking to himself in Japanese] The King... of Monsters.... I like that.

So explain to me how this... "magic-ometer" of yours works.

Ray

Oh. Well,--

Mick

It goes "beep" and we kick ass.

Zari

Meaning we investigate each time period.

Constantine

We find the creature.

Sara

We bring it to the Bureau.

Ray

And hopefully learn some life lessons along the way.

Sara

Ava, you are my love. And Mick, you are my family. And it would mean the world to me if both of you would try to get along. [whispers to Ava] Please.

Sara

So, I was thinking... maybe you two could find some common grounds. [Ava chortles] For example, Ava, you love to read. Mick here is an author.

Ava

Oh? Well, that's something. Though I'd be shocked if his novel wasn't sexist and derivative.

Mick

It is.

Sara

Okay. Well, Mick, you love to eat. Ava is a fantastic baker. She makes one mean snickerdoodle.

Mick

Fancy sugar cookies.

Ava

Snickerdoodles are actually completely different. It's a cream of tartar base, but --

Mick

Garbage cookies.

Ava

That's rich, coming from a man who's so lacking in personal hygiene that he had to resort to sleeping with a three-breasted alien sex toy.

Mick

Well, at least Garima isn't a clone.

Ava

[tightly] Only I get to use the C-word.

Sara

Too far, Mick. Too far.

Mick

Why do you get to have a fake girlfriend and I don't? [gets up and starts walking out of the room.] Clone.

Ava

Dick.

Mick

I made snickerdoodles with your recipe. Not bad.

Ava

I'm reading your novel. I'm on the last chapter. Your female characters are shallow, libidinous, and so much fun to read.

Mick

Hmmm. Thanks.

Ava

Yeah, good job, um... "Rebecca Silver"?

Mick

Non de plum.

Ava

Got it. So... let me get this straight. They're making love on the surface of the sun?

Mick

Mmm. It's, um... a metaphor.

Ava

[softly] Got it.

Mick

There's something about Buck and Garima you should know. They didn't live happily ever after. They came from two different worlds. Worlds that needed them. They didn't belong together. But they loved one another. A lot.

Mona

How do you know? The next book in the series hasn't even been published yet.

Mick

I just DO!!

Ray

Without the release of All the President's Men, Robert Redford's career floundered.

Mick

WHAT?! No Redford? No Sundance. No indie film. No artful nudity. We have to fix this!

Constantine

Not to bother you, but we've lost the ship, drugged the President, and I'm stuck in the back with her (Mona). Now what are we gonna do?

Sara

We are going to Disney World!

Mick

Noooo. Haven't we been tortured enough?

Mick

It's a roach.

I've been bugged.

Constantine

This is an agent of Maat, the goddess of truth in the Egyptian pantheon. You see, the creature, it feeds off lies. And whoever eats that has nothing but truth left to tell.

Sara

No wonder it found its way to Nixon. You must have been a feast.