Bernard quotes from Law & Order

Anti-war terrorists.

Our First Amendment in action.

[about anti-immigration violence] I get it, the anger. Back in South Central L.A., young Black men can't get jobs because the bosses know illegals will work for four dollars an hour and no benefits, and that they're too scared to go to the police. So, yeah, round them up, treat them humanely, and send them back. And that fence? Dig deep and build it high.

There's a solution. It's called a Depression. Believe me, all those illegals are heading home now.

Why would someone deliberately eat dog chow?

Dr. Rodgers

Well, unless he was starving to death or at my ex-sister-in-law's for Thanksgiving, he wouldn't.

Do you think New York City would hire a mentally ill woman?

It would explain a few things about the tax code.

[about three homeless murder victims] They could be hobos. There's a freight line right over there.

"Hobos"? What's this, 1933?

Lt. Van Buren

So, when do I get to see my detectives on TV?

Lupo didn't wanna be on camera.

Bad beard day.

Lt. Van Buren

[smiling] I wasn't gonna say anything.

[while being interviewed about the victim] That son of a bitch. He pulled my top off at a photo shoot at the St. Patrick's Day parade. No warning, just "oops, you're naked".

And that was more than what you bargained for.

My job description didn't say, "Get raped by leprechauns".

[answers his phone] Bernard. [pause] Who is this? [pause] Screw you! [hangs up]

Lt. Van Buren

I'm guessing that wasn't your mother.

Somebody called me a Nazi. You know, an hour ago, somebody called and said I needed to go on a diet.

Maybe that was your mother.

McCoy

So, the Vela cartel killed Nina Wilshire because she was in a song that extolled the virtues of a rival cartel.

It's called "talking smack with a semiautomatic".

Well, the cards weren't going my way. Guy with hole aces sitting on the nuts burned me for eight grand. Duane fronted me a loan.

He was playing loan shark?

He was working for one. Got me $8,000. The vig was one point a week. I paid him back a few days before he got killed. Dudes, I swear, I'm just a guy who really sucks at poker.

Looks like you got what you wanted.

I didn't want it, not like this. It just fell in my lap.

But I know you felt bad about it, and you had a chance to come clean. You didn't.

What do you know about anything? Talk to me in 40 years.

[about Carville] You ever watch her show?

Sure, when I'm not knitting booties for my cat.

Lt. Van Buren

Without the beards, you guys look 5 years younger.

[to Lupo] Which makes you about 12.

:[examining Ramirez's body] School ID to Sunrise Academy. It's a few blocks that way. One of those charter schools.

Trying to help kids in the lousy neighborhoods. Give them a better education to break the cycle of violence.

Looks like they've got a little ways to go.

Yes, I've heard about the murder. Everyone's talking about it.

Anyone talking about who did it?

Most of these kids worship at the Church of Don't Snitch.