Lennie Briscoe quotes from Law & Order

Lennie, it's over. What if it was one of your kids?

Briscoe

I don't know, but there's no statute of limitations on murder. Sweet dreams, pal.

Logan

You know, one of these days I'm gonna pack up a Winnebago.

Briscoe

And go where?

Logan

Upstate. New Hampshire.

Briscoe

I spent a year there one weekend.

Logan

[about Benny] You think his son knew he was an ass man?

Briscoe

I don't care how close they were. I don't see him bragging to his kid about his latest conquest.

Logan

But the guys down at the office are a different story.

Briscoe

[glances at Logan] Tell me about it.

Logan

[pause] What?

Briscoe

[reads from notebook] "Flying away on a giant beast with my suitcase in its teeth."

Logan

That doesn't sound like Fenady to me.

Briscoe

Wait a minute. "On leather wings, I fly beyond, on top my friend the pteradon." The flying beast is a dinosaur.

Logan

So a brontosaurus did it.

[about Korey's stalker] He's invested considerably more than gas money into this. Every game, every press clipping... it's a full-time occupation.

Logan

What's in it for him? Korey barely knows he exists.

The way he sees it, when she changes her running shoes, it's her way of saying hello to him. When she waves to the crowd, it's a declaration of love.

Lt. Van Buren

And if the secret code gets jumbled, is there any chance he gets violent?

There's a low risk, I'd say about 5%.

Briscoe

"If you don't play for me, I hope you don't play for anyone else"? I'd be watching my back.

Well, you take it as threat. He probably meant it as a curse.

Briscoe

Right, and he whacked her with his magic wand.

[as Briscoe and Logan arrest a suspect] Excuse me?

Briscoe

[walking past her] Don't mention it.

Briscoe

Hey, if I open an account over there, I get free checking and a toaster.

Logan

A 2-slice or a 4-slice?

Briscoe

4-slice. And if I deposit fifty grand, I get a VCR.

Logan

Hey, if you deposit fifty grand, I'm calling Internal Affairs.

[to Briscoe, after Logan knocks on the interrogation window] Who's that, your boss?

Briscoe

Yeah. [to the window] Hi, President Clinton.

[about the deceased] He had a lot of energy. I, on the other hand, have a wife.

Briscoe

My condolences.

Briscoe

What was the FBI doing in 1971?

Logan

I dunno, buying feather boas for J. Edgar Hoover?

See these bloodstains here? That's type AB negative.

Briscoe

Oh good. I got dibs on his liver.

Logan

Nice lady, this Mrs. Blanchard. She was hosting cocktail parties while her daughter was living on the dole.

Briscoe

Right, she should have let the kid shoot the family fortune into her arm.

Logan

You'd throw your daughter out on the street?

Briscoe

My daughter could go through my fortune in about a day and a half.

Logan

Any chance you like any of the men you work with?

Give me a break, Detective. There's only two kinds of men that work on Wall Street. Standard and poor. [gives Logan a speculative look] But I hear that peace officers are a whole different story.

Briscoe

[grins] You got your yardstick handy?

Logan

Oh, I got my tape measure.

Rape isn't part of the swinging lifestyle. The pleasure comes from an open and willing sharing.

Briscoe

Ah, but whatever happened to romance?

Our readers are interested in exploring another side of their sexual selves.

Logan

Yeah. The side marked "this end up."

Logan

What're you looking for, a date?

Briscoe

[reading] "Open-minded MBBF seeks mature man."

Logan

[looking puzzled] What's that? Male bisexual bondage freak?

Briscoe

I'm more in the mood for a BLT.