Lennie Briscoe quotes from Law & Order

Green

Found this under the front seat of her car.

Briscoe

A parking stub from A&M.

Green

The lot where Ronnie Buck was killed.

You didn't find that in my car, you put it there!

Briscoe

I knew those fake parking stubs would come in handy some day.

Dr. Rodgers

[on what blade made the stab wounds] Probably pinking shears.

Briscoe

I'm not even going to ask what pinking is.

Green

Vega hasn't had a gig in 10 years and he socked away millions of dollars. Maybe I should get a manager.

Briscoe

Singing in a karaoke bar doesn't count.

Van Buren

Closing that case got me noticed, Lennie. And I used to hear the whispers and the chatter behind my back. "She got it 'cause she's black, she got it 'cause she's a woman." And I never listened to that crap because I knew I had earned it.

Briscoe

You made lieutenant because you're a great cop. All the drսg collars you made, all the killers you put behind bars. This one case isn't gonna undo all of that.

Van Buren

I'm not so sure, Lennie. I'm not so sure.

We're losing our wetlands, our wilderness! Every day, we are paving over nature!

Briscoe

Aw, you think Manhattan's a wasteland? Wait 'til you see Riker's Island.

Hey! I'm gonna lose my spot!

Briscoe

Don't worry - we serve pancakes at our house too.

You got syrup?

Green

Looks she said the hell with her stuff and just took off.

Briscoe

I don't blame her. Isn't moving one of the 7 major traumas? Death, divorce, colonoscopy?

Briscoe

[reading a movie poster] "Les Artistes d'Armour. A painter shows how passion is the highest form of art."

Green

Sounds like a date movie.

Briscoe

Sounds like I'm home watching the Knicks game.

Your shrink was trying to predict antisocial behavior by looking at her subjects' early childhood experience.

Green

Did she predict someone would grow up and murder their therapist?

You'd have to get into her session notes. That's where any clues would be.

Briscoe

What kind of clues?

First thing I'd look for would be some sort of physical abuse, possibly sexual. And because the nature of your murder was particularly vicious, I'd focus on someone who felt betrayed by their therapist.

Briscoe

At 150 an hour, that would be practically everybody, wouldn't it?

These are good kids.

Briscoe

So were Leopold and Loeb.

Green

That's the trouble with you AA types. You see an alcoholic behind every bush.

Briscoe

Which is where they are.

I want a lawyer.

Briscoe

All right. Just try not to shoot this one.

Briscoe

You were dealing out of the same club, and you were seen arguing about money. In our neck of the woods, that's called a drug deal gone bad.

That's insane!

Briscoe

Uh, if I were you, that defense never works.

Green

Took one in the back of the head. Close range, small caliber. No exit wound, no brass. Very tidy. Very professional.

Briscoe

Yeah, what do you bet there's no prints, either?

Green

Well, we'd better find Mrs. Rosatti, tell her her husband's dead.

Briscoe

If she doesn't already know.

Green

Man, you are such a cynic when it comes to love.

Briscoe

Not love. Marriage.

Lt. Van Buren

What is it with the male of the species?

Briscoe

Got a couple of months?

Lt. Van Buren

I'm referring to the way you can just about melt in front of a guy who can hit a ball with a bat.

Green

All I said was that if the kid stays healthy, he's a lock for Cooperstown.

Lt. Van Buren

Yeah, only it was how you said it.

Green

How'd I say it?

Lt. Van Buren

Like a 6-year-old talking about a banana split.