Lennie Briscoe quotes from Law & Order

Perry and I have nothing to hide. We're therapists; we believe in the truth.

Briscoe

Yeah, so do we. But we rarely hear it.

I think he's from Brooklyn.

Briscoe

Why? He had a bad haircut?

[about Green] Put a leash on this guy, all right?

Briscoe

We gave up: he keeps chewing through them.

Green

[about Alston] As far as we can see, she's a retired porn star living off her investments.

Briscoe

God bless America.

I'd rather be in uniform. Too much politics in being a detective. I don't know how you guys do it.

Briscoe

We're different. We're in it for the money.

Did you think I was going to eat my gun?

Briscoe

Now why would you do a thing like that?

I disgraced myself. Dishonored the job.

Briscoe

You made a mistake.

I let him go. He killed a young girl, and I let him go.

Briscoe

So now he's caught.

Can you forgive me, Lennie?

Briscoe

All day long, Tommy, all day long.

Green

Guy stuck his car in a garage, thought he was safe.

Briscoe

He forgot the high cost of parking in Manhattan.

Lt. Van Buren

What kind of idiot arranges a pickup for ransom money?

Briscoe

The kind of idiot whose license plates read "HOSE MONKEY".

You can't arrest us, we have a show to finish.

Briscoe

Consider yourselves cancelled.

Briscoe

So what's the story? Girl meets bridge?

Girl meets bullet, then girl meets river.

Briscoe

I love a happy ending.

Briscoe

Let's get some burgers.

Green

What you got against that Indian place?

Briscoe

You ever seen one Indian in there?

Dr. Rodgers

Margaret Sikorsky, 24, ODed. Death resulted from a lethal combination of high potency cocaine and several prescription drugs. I can give you a copy of this.

Briscoe

How did she get here?

Dr. Rodgers

Same as everybody else: she died.

Briscoe

One of my ex-wives called this morning to bust my chops.

Green

Which one?

Briscoe

I forget.

Green

[reading a death threat] "Carlin, you stank-ass bitch, I'm gonna make you lick my Mac-10."

Briscoe

I'm guessing the motion was denied.

Lt. Van Buren

[reading the ballistics report on a homicide] Hollow-point. Double the damage, double the fun.

Briscoe

This lady picked the wrong guy to get into a traffic jam with.

Lt. Van Buren

That's why I don't even honk my horn anymore.