Lennie Briscoe quotes from Law & Order

Briscoe

She was 24. A guy like Giddens killed her.

He go to jail?

Briscoe

Yeah. Thing is, I get up every morning, I shave, I brush my teeth, and I kick myself for not putting a .38 slug between his eyes. Maybe then...

Do not say closure. No such thing. This is great. My kid dies, and no one lifts a finger. Someone kills this creep, here you are with a thousand questions.

Briscoe

Not a thousand, Bill. Just one.

Get the hell out!

Briscoe

[to Green] Don't you just love innocent bystanders?

Briscoe

Will's what you call "old-fashioned".

Green

You mean prehistoric.

Briscoe

And yet he's entertaining, in a Neanderthal sort of way.

Do you have any idea how much I pay in city taxes?

Briscoe

I do; I want to thank you for these new shoes.

Tell him there's no one out there gunning for me.

Briscoe

Well, we can't confirm or deny.

Yeah, right. All those parking tickets, I knew I should have worn a Kevlar bra.

Lt. Van Buren

5 hours? I hope to hell he called you in the morning.

Green

Hey, the best way to get a drunk to open his mouth is to let him drink, isn't that right, Lennie?

Briscoe

Hear, hear!

[examining the victim] Gunshot wound. We need to order an autopsy to determine whether it was self-inflicted.

Briscoe

You think she shot herself before or after she jumped?

Lt. Van Buren

You make one hell of a bad cop!

Briscoe

Practice, practice, practice. I give him about 10 minutes with Ed before he starts to sing.

Lt. Van Buren

Our luck, he sings as bad as he lies.

Briscoe

Were you home all evening, Mr Scofield?

Except for my constitutional, which I take every evening religiously at 8 o'clock.

Green

Your "constitutional"?

Briscoe

You should watch more Masterpiece Theatre, Ed.

Briscoe

You know, Ed, I've heard about this, but I never thought it could actually happen.

Green

What?

Briscoe

She shopped 'til she dropped.

Green

What'd you find out?

Briscoe

Could have been a stray bullet.

Green

6 inches to the right, she'd still be here.

Briscoe

6 inches to the right and Lincoln would have seen the end of the play.

Green

Damn!

Briscoe

What?

Green

We got a jumper.

Briscoe

I may join him.

Green

People get around stars, they get stupid.

Briscoe

Waiting in line to see Madonna is stupid. This is a felony.

He jumped into the car and took off like a bat out of h-e-double-hockey-sticks.

Briscoe

What precinct are you from? Sesame Street?

Lt. Van Buren

When are people gonna learn a car just isn't worth it?

Briscoe

Well, it was a Cadillac.