DS Ronnie Brooks quotes from Law & Order: UK

DS Ronnie Brooks

[takes Matt's sugar] I'll have that. He's sweet enough [Matt grins]

DS Ronnie Brooks

I’ve had my life, haven’t I? I’ve been married too many times, I’ve got my girls. Matty never got to do any of that, did he?

DS Ronnie Brooks

That police officer who died? His name was Matthew Devlin. And he was like my son.

DS Ronnie Brooks

[after a day of mistakes] Well, Ange was right about something. We've definitely got ourselves a body.

DS Ronnie Brooks

What about an ID of the person who left it?

DS Matt Devlin

Chinese guy dumped it around one. Asian bird at around half twelve. She was a fat black woman. It was a thin white guy. Take your pick.

DS Ronnie Brooks

God bless the Great British public!

DS Matt Devlin

The old needle/haystack interface.

DS Ronnie Brooks

Look on the bright side, son, you might end up with a yummy mummy!

DI Natalie Chandler

He's already working for one!

DS Matt Devlin

You speak French?

DS Ronnie Brooks

Well, what'd you think I am, some sort of Neanderthal?

DS Matt Devlin

You might have said something before. I made a tit of myself.

DS Ronnie Brooks

Where's the fun in that?

DS Ronnie Brooks

He can't even look after a goldfish.

DS Matt Devlin

I fed it just like you said. The fish was ailing before I went anywhere near it!

DS Ronnie Brooks

Tell that to my daughter!

DS Ronnie Brooks

Do you recognise him, love?

I was too busy working last night, trying to keep warm

DS Matt Devlin

Go on. Have a think [tries to turn on the charm] I bet nothing gets past you...

Do women ever fall for that? [Matt grins]

DS Matt Devlin

Look at his body language. I mean he's sitting on his hands! It's classic! He's hiding something

DS Ronnie Brooks

Matt, what are you going to charge him with? Bad posture?

Frenzied attack, judging by the splatter patterns.

DS Ronnie Brooks

You love saying 'splatter patterns', don't you?

DS Ronnie Brooks

So is this still an HQ for Toms?

Yeah. Might explain why his John Thomas is hanging out. Blowus interruptus, if you ask me.

DI Natalie Chandler

So why's he got his ninky nonk out when they find him?

DS Matt Devlin

[stifling a laugh] You don't really call it a 'ninky nonk'?

DI Natalie Chandler

Should hear what I call you.

DS Matt Devlin

What, you took a lipstick trace off his...

Wangdoodle. Oh, yeah.

DS Matt Devlin

Bloke was murdered under the bridge last night. You hear anything about that?

Bit buff for a cop, you are, aren't you?

DS Ronnie Brooks

Do you mind, love? His head's big enough already without you adding to it.

DS Matt Devlin

I became a 'tec for the glamour. What happens? Spend most of my nights trolling through paperwork with you.

DS Ronnie Brooks

Yeah? Well, you can bet your life Frank McCallum did exactly the same when he was on the job. Just remember why you're doing this, Matt.

DS Ronnie Brooks

Maybe if we get it forensicated?

[As Ronnie grins] Forensicated isn’t a word!!