Hannah quotes from L.A. 7

Rachel

What? Are you two still here?

Paul

Yeah.

Rachel

Have you two eaten or slept or moved or… (sniffing) washed?

Hannah

No.

Tina

Oh, no! Look at the pile of dishes now!

Paul

As the plates get higher. The steaks get higher.

Tina

Isn’t that exactly where the pieces were last night?

Hannah

Probably. (She moves the piece of chess) Can’t rush into anything. (She moves another piece of chess) Strategic playing.

Rachel

Or not playing playing.

Tina

Wasn’t that Jo and Brad I heard leaving at the cracker dawn this morning?

Paul

Don’t know.

Hannah

I wasn’t looking.

Rachel

Must have been. I wonder how they’re getting on.

5, 6, 7, 8. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…

Tina

No, it’s still not right. (to Jon) Jon. Oh, yeah, I’m not speaking to you, am I? (to Jo) Jo, can you tell Paul to tell Hannah.

Paul

I am not talking to Hannah.

Tina

Of course. That’s right. (She walks over to Hannah) Hannah, can you tell Jo to tell Rachel to tell Paul to tell Jon that…

Jon

What?

Paul

What?

Rachel

What?

Bradley

What?

Jo

What?

Hannah

What?!

Tina

I forgot I was gonna say now.

Hannah

Can someone tell me who are not talking to you? I can’t remember anymore.

Paul

It’s me.

Rachel

And me.

Hannah

Oh. Thanks. Tell her thanks.

Bradley

(to Rachel) Hannah says thanks.

Rachel

Tell her it’s a pleasure.

Hannah

What did she say?

Bradley

She said it’s a pleasure.

Hannah

Oh.

Bradley

Do you know what, guys? I think it’s pathetic.

Rachel

I know. We’ve never argued like this before.

Tina

It’s gonna ruin our performance.

Jo

What is wrong with us?

Paul

I don’t know. We just don’t seem to agree anymore.

Joni

Hi, guys!

Hi, Joni!

Joni

Listen, I know I’ve been a little cynical about this fame and fortune thing, but… I take it all back.

Bradley

Oh, really?

Paul

How come?

Joni

Well, one of you is definitely, definitely famous. Although, not so fortunate.

Jo

What are you talking about?

Joni

Just a little picture in a magazine.

Jon

Oh, no, no. Wait!

Jon

(He takes a magazine from Joni) It’s not funny!

Paul

Oh, yes it is!

Hannah

(Off-screen) Hey, guys!

Jon

I suppose it is quite funny.

Jo

Yeah.

Hannah

Oh, guys, we’ve just agreed on something.

Oh, yeah!

Joni

So, can I have your photograph?

Jon

Of course you can. (He signs in)

Joni

Thank you very much.

Rachel

Yeah.

Jo

Yeah.

Damn you

I’m gonna stand by you

Stand by, stand by you

Damn you

I’m gonna stand by you

Stand by, stand by you (stand by you)

I’m gonna stand by you

Stand by, stand by you

‘Cause I wanna be with you

Hannah

But why did he choose me? Everybody knows I meant to be the cutest one.

Paul

Oi! I heard that.

Hannah

Okay, apart from Paul. Everybody knows I meant to be the cutest. And I live more like new sound of the sorceress than neither of you two. So why did he choose me?

Jo

Oh, I don’t know, Han. It’s just one of life’s great mysteries like… Where do corn circles come from?

Rachel

Yeah. Why there ain’t no cure for the summertime blues.

Jo

Yeah, and…

Tina

Where’s Bradley? He knows I wanna rehearse routine for the new song. Where is he?

Jo

Ah, I’m knackered. I sit now. I ain’t moving for the next 2 hours.

Joni

Here are you.

Rachel

Oh, no!

Joni

No, no. Why are your choice rehearsing?

Rachel

We have been rehearsing, Joni.

Joni

Oh, no. I don’t mean like that little group thing. I mean for something important now. I have otherwise you guys to have a special skill like, uh, juggler.

Rachel

We can sing.

Joni

Oh, no, honey. You’re in L.A. Every waiter and their mother sings. We’ve got to find you guys something that makes you stand out in the crowd.

Hannah

Ah. I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue.

Ugh.

Joni

Mmm. I wouldn’t go around boasting about that. Now let’s go out and find you guys a skill. Okay. Come on.

Rachel

A cow. But you caught a sheep with no legs. A crowd. How could you forget that?

Jo

You don’t even know what a man with monkey under one arm, a crocodile onto the other was doing.

Rachel

I think maybe he’s wearing them as an air freshener.

Jo

That’s a pig.

Rachel

What?

Jo

I wouldn’t say that restaurant was tough, but I think they used a pig as an air freshener.

Rachel

What restaurant?

Ooh.

Jo

Are we late for rehearsal?

Tina

No. It’s Christ’s meeting. We’re thinking about chucking someone out the band.

Jo

Look, if this is about that time that I posted nude photos of Jon on the internet, while they’re…

Hannah

It’s Bradley! Tina says if he won’t come to rehearsals, he can’t be in the band anymore.

Jo

It’s just stupid. (to Bradley) Hey, Brad. You alright, mate?

Bradley

Mmm.

Hannah

As far as we know, he hasn’t slept for 2 days and what’s even worse and…

Tina

He hasn’t gone to the toilet, either.

Paul

People, I think we’re sitting on a time bomb.

Rachel

Bradley, serious! I’m making an intervention. I’m not moving from a spot until you stop playing this game.

Rachel

Oh. Host me.

Jo

Brad.

Bradley

I just let me get past this level, all right? Trust me, I can do it.

Paul

No, you can’t, you hoof. It’s almost impossible to complete without the secret cheap put in the game by the garbagey of TD. It says here.

Hannah

Well, then let’s find this bloke and ask him the secret. That way we can get our Brad back.

Tina

Good idea. But all we know about the game is that it’s by strati soft. You have no idea where they are or if they’re even in California.

Jo

You would do. Spring Street Downtown.

Rachel

Yeah. They’re so nice format that’s like the audition.

Tina

Okay, let’s go then.

Jon

So, you put a nude picture of me on the internet.

Hannah

You know what I was thinking, Johnny Jon?

Jon

Oh, I don’t know, Honey Han. Um, why, uh, butterflies called butterflies are not margarine flies?

Hannah

No. I wasn’t thinking that.

Jon

Well, I don’t know then.

Hannah

I was thinking the trouble with Los Angeles is that is so big. Nobody notices ya. I mean look at them ants. (pointing to the ants on the floor) They’re the equivalent of us in Los Angeles. They’re insignificant.

Jo

What ants?

Hannah

See what I mean?

Paul

Afternoon, Bradley.

Bradley

(groaning then clearing his throat)

Paul

The milk’s on the side.

Bradley

(muttering)

Rachel

How do you know what he’s saying?

Paul

Well, I’ve been studying Bradley speak. It’s a little like Japanese but without the words.

Rachel

I guess that means “I’ll see you later?”

Paul

No. He was just clearing his throat.

Rachel

Hmm. Tricky language.

Tina

Listen, nobody go near Joni. Looks like she’s having trouble with her boyfriend and she’s about to take it out on someone.

Jo

Hmm. Well, I hope she gives us some warnings so we can all take cover.

Somebody at the door!

Hannah

I don’t know if we rush, guys. I’ll get it.

Joni

Yes. I knew it!

Hannah

Oh! Hello, Joni. I didn’t recognize you from above.

Joni

Just as I thought.

Bradley

Ah! I had a nightmare that Joni was going across the floor, then when I woke up, Joni was going across the floor.

Jo

What is she doing?

Tina

Don’t take any notice. It’s probably some kind of new age ritual.

Joni

Ohh! I knew it! I knew it!

Paul

Uh-oh! Sounds serious. Better get ready to run! (They all rush around)

Paul

Um, where are my trainers?!

Rachel

I can’t go out looking like this!

Bradley

Whoa!

Joni

Look at that!

Tina

What?

Jo

Where?

Joni

Down there! Look! Ants! Hundreds of ants!

Jo

Oh, yeah. Well, I’d see that, eh?

Joni

I can see them. They stand out like a mile.

Jo

I wouldn’t say a mile. Maybe a few millilitres and they’re the tallest ones.

Joni

There is an infestation here. This place is a mess! Look at it! I mean don’t you ever clean it up? It’s disgusting! (to the rest of the band mates) Listen up, everybody! The terms of your lease say that this place must be kept clean or I can throw you out at any time.

Jon

You’re right. She’s right. You’re absolutely right. This place is a tip, isn’t it? (clicking fingers) Paul.

Paul

Yeah, yeah. Um, it’s a disgrace! There is parp everywhere. Yeah. Someone should clean it up. I’ve got to go and see a man about the goose.

Joni

Whoa, hold on. Where are you going?

Jo

Um, um, to get some ant killer.

Hannah

We can’t kill them.

Jo

Stunner. Ant stunner. We’ll buy some ant stunner and then we’ll stun the ants, take them outside and then um…

Hannah

Set them free.

Jo

Yeah. To roam the beach and destruct their stuff.

Hannah

But we’ll have to spin and run first so they get dizzy and they can’t find their way back!

Jo

That’s just stupid.

Hannah

But it works.

Bradley

More milk.

Tina

Me too.

Joni

Oh, no, no, no, no, no you don’t! No!

Bradley

Where’s Rachel and Tina?

Hannah

I think they got caught behind.

Jo

Look, this is stupid. We keep running out and our landlady every time wrenched you.

Paul

You’re right.

Jo

We’ve got to sort it out and get her act together.

Bradley

She’s right.

Jon

Look, guys. Our agent is rubbish. We might as well just concentrate on getting famous ourselves.

Paul

You’re right.

Hannah

He’s right!

Bradley

She’s right.

Jo

I’m right.

Bradley

I’m right sometimes.

Paul

ALL RIGHT! All right. I’ve had an idea. Let’s make a movie.

Bradley

Heh. Why not? (chuckles and eats the camera)

Jon

So, has anyone got any questions or anything then?

Rachel

Yeah.

Jo

Yeah.

Rachel

Do I have to wear that on my head?

Bradley

No, I’m not wearing his hat, bro.

Jon

Brad, you have to be a policeman.

Bradley

I did not.

Tina

Jon, Jon, Jon. So what are you gonna be then?

Jon

Well, I’m directing it, but then I’ve got to be the, uh, the third cop as well.

Hannah

Guys.

Paul

Any other questions, guys?

Paul

(clears throats) Detective, do we have a lead on these bank robbers?

Hannah

Mm-hmm. Seems that they were 2 women.

Paul

How do you know?

Hannah

Because witnesses said that they saw 2 women robbing the bank so we figured that the robbers were 2 women.

Paul

Nice work, Detective. Nice work.

Hannah

We found a stick of a low-calorie gum at the scene so I guess that one of them is on a diet.

Paul

Hmm. That reminds me. Lunch. I want Detective Lee and Detective McIntosh working on this case.

Hannah

But, but they don’t get home with each other, chief.

Paul

Not my problem, Detective. (eating donut)

Jon

I’ve been assigned as your new partner.

Bradley

I don’t work with partners.

Jon

You do now, McIntosh.

Bradley

Listen up. I work alone, alright? I had a partner once.

Jon

Yeah, and what happened?

Bradley

I don’t wanna talk about it.

Jon

Do you wanna talk about it?

Bradley

No.

Jon

Look, the D.A. seems to think that you could use a little help on this case about catching those bank robbers.

Bradley

Listen up, Lee. I don’t need your help! Alright?

Jon

I knew a guy that said that once.

Bradley

Yeah. What happened to him?

Jon

I don’t want to talk about it.

Bradley

You wanna to talk about it?

Jon

No.

Bradley

So what do you wanna talk about?

Hannah

Oh! Look! There they are!

Hannah

Oh!

Jon

Stop the car!

Hannah

Quick!

Hannah

Go up there!

Jon

Yeah!

Jo

Right foot turn, Rach.

Hannah

Over there!

Jo

Come on, Rach! (showing them the bag)

Hannah

Go, go, go, go, go, go, GO!!

Jo

Whoo-whoo! Come on, Rachel!

Jo

Hey! Check it out!

Jon

Go, go, go!

Hannah

Look out! Get you!

Paul

Go!

Hannah

That’s it, you two! Your robbing days are over!

Jon

You’re going down for 3 to 5!

Jo

Jon, get off! That hurts! (she hits him)

Jon

Ow! Did you see that? She just hit me.

Rachel

So, is that it then?

Hannah

I guess so.

Paul

Well, we have got some more take left.

Jon

So, guys. Why don’t we just end it with a song?

Paul

Okay.

Jon

You alright?

Jo

No. You really hurt my arm.

Jon

I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it.

Jo

So, where should we go tonight then?

Hannah

Well, wherever it is a bit pitchy because I’m skint.

Paul

You’re always skint. When you get money, you don’t have to spend it immediately, you know, Han. It’s not compulsory. You better stay in tonight.

Jon

Yeah, but you’re still coming, aren’t you?

Paul

No.

Tina

Why’s that?

Paul

I’m skint too.

Bradley

What a day. Tell ya. Being a cinema aser is a lot harder than it looks, alright? You got the back seat, anti-snug patrol. You got the Slurpee volume enforcement and you got the ground to air popcorn prevention. Anyway, I thought you lot were going out.

Paul

No. We’ve been waiting for you, mate.

Jon

Yeah. We’re not gonna go out without you, are we?

Jo

Erm, yeah. You have been paid, right?

Bradley

Well, actually, yeah. I made 50 bucks today.

Hannah

Cinema? Has she made 50 bucks a day?

Bradley

No, I don’t get paid to the end of the week, but that’s just some of the change I found down the back of the seats.

Tina

Great. So where are we going?

Bradley

Well, I’m quite parped. So I think I’ll have a night in.

Rachel

Well, there’s a slight problem, see? We haven’t got any money, so we were thinking that maybe you could…

Hannah

Bradley.

Bradley

You still owe me 20 bucks from Florida, you little monkey.

Hannah

No, I don’t. I mean that to Paul.

Paul

Don’t look at me. I gave that to Tina.

Tina

Hey, nothing to do with me. Rachel wanted it and she didn’t like to ask.

Rachel

I only need cos I let my last 20 to Jon.

Jon

Yeah, and I would never have asked if I hadn’t already given all my money to Bradley.

Bradley

So you mean I owe myself 20 bucks. Ha ha.

Hannah

Look, we don’t have to go out to have fun.

Jo

No. Hannah’s right. Why don’t we all spend the evening in?

Tina

And do what?

Rachel

We’ll do what they did in the olden days. You know, before nightclubs are invented, I suppose.

Jo

What? You mean like skinning dinosaurs?

Jon

Come on, guys. We’re gonna have a great time. We can enjoy each other’s company, talk about current affairs, politics, literature.

Paul

Yeah. Who needs music and all those fancy electronics to enjoy themselves? Come on. Let’s go for it. Alright.

Hannah

So, what should we talk about then? Mmm?

Bradley

I see you a lot then.