“Making Movies” quotes from L.A. 7

Hannah

You know what I was thinking, Johnny Jon?

Jon

Oh, I don’t know, Honey Han. Um, why, uh, butterflies called butterflies are not margarine flies?

Hannah

No. I wasn’t thinking that.

Jon

Well, I don’t know then.

Hannah

I was thinking the trouble with Los Angeles is that is so big. Nobody notices ya. I mean look at them ants. (pointing to the ants on the floor) They’re the equivalent of us in Los Angeles. They’re insignificant.

Jo

What ants?

Hannah

See what I mean?

Paul

Afternoon, Bradley.

Bradley

(groaning then clearing his throat)

Paul

The milk’s on the side.

Bradley

(muttering)

Rachel

How do you know what he’s saying?

Paul

Well, I’ve been studying Bradley speak. It’s a little like Japanese but without the words.

Rachel

I guess that means “I’ll see you later?”

Paul

No. He was just clearing his throat.

Rachel

Hmm. Tricky language.

Tina

Hi, Joni.

Joni

Tina, you know. If you ever think about having a relationship with a man, then think again and think again, and just don’t do it.

Tina

Okay, right. Uh, I’ll remember that.

Joni

And if you do do it, then just check yourself into an ASAN asylum.

Tina

Top idea.

Joni

Cos I can help you with that, Tina. I can.

Tina

Good to know.

Joni

Hmm. What’s this? ANTS?!

Tina

Listen, nobody go near Joni. Looks like she’s having trouble with her boyfriend and she’s about to take it out on someone.

Jo

Hmm. Well, I hope she gives us some warnings so we can all take cover.

Somebody at the door!

Hannah

I don’t know if we rush, guys. I’ll get it.

Joni

Yes. I knew it!

Hannah

Oh! Hello, Joni. I didn’t recognize you from above.

Joni

Just as I thought.

Bradley

Ah! I had a nightmare that Joni was going across the floor, then when I woke up, Joni was going across the floor.

Jo

What is she doing?

Tina

Don’t take any notice. It’s probably some kind of new age ritual.

Joni

Ohh! I knew it! I knew it!

Paul

Uh-oh! Sounds serious. Better get ready to run! (They all rush around)

Paul

Um, where are my trainers?!

Rachel

I can’t go out looking like this!

Bradley

Whoa!

Joni

Look at that!

Tina

What?

Jo

Where?

Joni

Down there! Look! Ants! Hundreds of ants!

Jo

Oh, yeah. Well, I’d see that, eh?

Joni

I can see them. They stand out like a mile.

Jo

I wouldn’t say a mile. Maybe a few millilitres and they’re the tallest ones.

Joni

There is an infestation here. This place is a mess! Look at it! I mean don’t you ever clean it up? It’s disgusting! (to the rest of the band mates) Listen up, everybody! The terms of your lease say that this place must be kept clean or I can throw you out at any time.

Jon

You’re right. She’s right. You’re absolutely right. This place is a tip, isn’t it? (clicking fingers) Paul.

Paul

Yeah, yeah. Um, it’s a disgrace! There is parp everywhere. Yeah. Someone should clean it up. I’ve got to go and see a man about the goose.

Joni

Whoa, hold on. Where are you going?

Jo

Um, um, to get some ant killer.

Hannah

We can’t kill them.

Jo

Stunner. Ant stunner. We’ll buy some ant stunner and then we’ll stun the ants, take them outside and then um…

Hannah

Set them free.

Jo

Yeah. To roam the beach and destruct their stuff.

Hannah

But we’ll have to spin and run first so they get dizzy and they can’t find their way back!

Jo

That’s just stupid.

Hannah

But it works.

Bradley

More milk.

Tina

Me too.

Joni

Oh, no, no, no, no, no you don’t! No!

Bradley

Where’s Rachel and Tina?

Hannah

I think they got caught behind.

Jo

Look, this is stupid. We keep running out and our landlady every time wrenched you.

Paul

You’re right.

Jo

We’ve got to sort it out and get her act together.

Bradley

She’s right.

Jon

Look, guys. Our agent is rubbish. We might as well just concentrate on getting famous ourselves.

Paul

You’re right.

Hannah

He’s right!

Bradley

She’s right.

Jo

I’m right.

Bradley

I’m right sometimes.

Paul

ALL RIGHT! All right. I’ve had an idea. Let’s make a movie.

Bradley

Heh. Why not? (chuckles and eats the camera)

Joni

You know, I could get twice as much money for this apartment and have much less hassle.

Tina

Yeah, we realize that.

Joni

I mean I’m the one that’s doing you the favor here. You guys came here with nothing! I put a roof over your head and this is how you repay me.

Rachel

Don’t worry, Joni. We’ll help you tidy up.

Joni

(beginning to cry) You know, it’s just always the same thing. The nicer you are to people, the more they take you for granted, the more that they exploit your kindness.

Rachel

Aw.

Joni

I mean I just do the best that you can. I mean that’s all you can do, and then somebody just ups and leaves you for another one.

Tina

Joni, shut up! (sitting down next to her) This isn’t about the state of the apartment, is it?

Joni

What do you mean?

Tina

It’s your boyfriend, isn’t it? He’s dumped you. You’re upset. So come in here and take out on us and the ants.

Joni

Isn’t that obvious?

Rachel

Yes, but we want to help you.

Joni

You do? But why?

Rachel

Because… Good question.

Tina

Because we like you.

Joni

(sniffs) Really?

Rachel

(whispering to Tina) No, we don’t.

Tina

Yes, we do.

Rachel

Yes, we do and we want to help you get over your friend.

Tina

So, forget about the state of the apartment.

Rachel

Yeah, I mean what’s a little dust and mess and ants and dirty socks and grimy plates and general filth and…

Tina

Yeah. All right, Rach.

Rachel

When compared to love and human relationships.

Tina

Exactly.

Joni

(breaths calmly) You know, you’re right. I feel better already.

Joni

So that’s how it always works. I break up with somebody and then I regret it, so I phone them and then it all gets bad again.

Tina

Okay. Here’s the suggestion. If you find yourself wanting to find this guy up, then talk to us instead and we’ll help you not to find him.

Joni

Really? That’s very nice of you. Hey, guys.

Hi.

Jo

Joni, about the rent.

Rachel

No, it’s fine. Everything’s cool.

Jon

Is it?

Joni

Yeah, it is. What are you guys up to?

Jon

Well, we’re kind of sick and tired of sitting around waiting to be discovered, so we decided to make a film.

Rachel

Oh, that’s a great idea! That’s brilliant.

Tina

That’s great!

Joni

That’s great, that’s great. (trying to ring a number to someone)

Tina

Joni?

Joni

Hm?

Tina

What are you doing?

Joni

Oh. Nothing. So… Let’s make movies!

Paul

Yeah.

Bradley

That’s a good idea.

Jon

So, has anyone got any questions or anything then?

Rachel

Yeah.

Jo

Yeah.

Rachel

Do I have to wear that on my head?

Bradley

No, I’m not wearing his hat, bro.

Jon

Brad, you have to be a policeman.

Bradley

I did not.

Tina

Jon, Jon, Jon. So what are you gonna be then?

Jon

Well, I’m directing it, but then I’ve got to be the, uh, the third cop as well.

Hannah

Guys.

Paul

Any other questions, guys?

I can’t stand to see you sad

Someday, someway (there’s no need to cry)

After all you’ve done for me

Someday, someway (there’s no need to cry)

You’ve taken everything me

After all you’ve done for me

Someday, someway (there’s no need to cry)

You’ve taken everything from me

I can’t stand to see you sad

Someday, someway (there’s no need to cry)

Someday, someway (someday, someway)

There’s no need to cry

Someday, someway (with some need to cry)

Bradley

You’re all set!

Jon

Okay, so this is the S Club Movie. Take 1!

Jon

And action!

Rachel

Okay, Jo. You know what we’ve got to do.

Jo

Sure. We’re going hard. We get the money and we get out if anyone stands in our way, we take them out.

Rachel

Where do we take them?

Jo

What?

Rachel

Well, you said we take them out. Where do we take them? Do we take them to restaurant or something?

Jo

No, Rach! We take them out! We kill them.

Rachel

Oh, Jo. I don’t think we should hurt them.

Jo

So what should we do then?

Rachel

Well, you know, shout at them or something.

Jo

You mean call them names.

Rachel

Yes! Call them names till they give us the money.

Jo

Or they cry.

Rachel

Oh, whatever.

Jo

Alright. Cool. Let’s go.

Jon

Okay. (to Jo and Rachel) Once more with feeling!

Bradley

Yeah. Rachel’s a bit shiny as well.

Jon

Mmm.

Paul

(clears throats) Detective, do we have a lead on these bank robbers?

Hannah

Mm-hmm. Seems that they were 2 women.

Paul

How do you know?

Hannah

Because witnesses said that they saw 2 women robbing the bank so we figured that the robbers were 2 women.

Paul

Nice work, Detective. Nice work.

Hannah

We found a stick of a low-calorie gum at the scene so I guess that one of them is on a diet.

Paul

Hmm. That reminds me. Lunch. I want Detective Lee and Detective McIntosh working on this case.

Hannah

But, but they don’t get home with each other, chief.

Paul

Not my problem, Detective. (eating donut)

Jon

I’ve been assigned as your new partner.

Bradley

I don’t work with partners.

Jon

You do now, McIntosh.

Bradley

Listen up. I work alone, alright? I had a partner once.

Jon

Yeah, and what happened?

Bradley

I don’t wanna talk about it.

Jon

Do you wanna talk about it?

Bradley

No.

Jon

Look, the D.A. seems to think that you could use a little help on this case about catching those bank robbers.

Bradley

Listen up, Lee. I don’t need your help! Alright?

Jon

I knew a guy that said that once.

Bradley

Yeah. What happened to him?

Jon

I don’t want to talk about it.

Bradley

You wanna to talk about it?

Jon

No.

Bradley

So what do you wanna talk about?

Hannah

Oh! Look! There they are!

Hannah

Oh!

Jon

Stop the car!

Hannah

Quick!

Hannah

Go up there!

Jon

Yeah!

Jo

Right foot turn, Rach.

Hannah

Over there!

Jo

Come on, Rach! (showing them the bag)

Hannah

Go, go, go, go, go, go, GO!!

Jo

Whoo-whoo! Come on, Rachel!

Jo

Hey! Check it out!

Jon

Go, go, go!

Hannah

Look out! Get you!

Paul

Go!

Hannah

That’s it, you two! Your robbing days are over!

Jon

You’re going down for 3 to 5!

Jo

Jon, get off! That hurts! (she hits him)

Jon

Ow! Did you see that? She just hit me.

Rachel

So, is that it then?

Hannah

I guess so.

Paul

Well, we have got some more take left.

Jon

So, guys. Why don’t we just end it with a song?

Paul

Okay.

Jon

You alright?

Jo

No. You really hurt my arm.

Jon

I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it.

S Club

S Club (There ain’t no party like an S Club party, oh)

Finally Friday night

S Club (There ain’t no party like an S Club party, oh)

(Ooh, ooh) Wave your hands in the air

Tina’s doing her dance

S Club (There ain’t no party like an S Club party, oh)

(Ooh, ooh) Wave your hands in the air

(Ooh, ooh) Wave your hands in the air

Ghetto boys, make some noise

S Club (There ain’t no party like an S Club party, oh)

Hi, Joni.

Joni

(gasps)

It’s me. Are you there?

Joni

Yes. Yes, I am.

I know you don’t wanna talk to me, but I wanna tell you something. Pick up the phone.

I thought maybe we could patch things up, Joni.

Joni

Oh, yes. We can, we can.

Well, I guess not. Look, I’m going away for a while. Uh, you won’t be able to call me, but…

Joni

No, no! Don’t hang up! No, don’t hang up!

I love you, Joni. Goodbye.

Joni

NO! (echoes then sobs)