A character in Kirby: Right Back at Ya!
Played by Naoki Tatsuta
Kirby: Right Back at Ya! · 920 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Kirby: Right Back at Ya!: in 286 of its 920 quotes
Most scenes with: King Dedede (209), Tiff (72), Tuff (53)
EscargoonKITCHEEEEENNNNN!!! Where's the chow, ya chowder-heads? His highness is hungry up here!
But we just served the king a ten-course meal.
All of them appetizers was un-appetizin'. Bring me ten different courses and make it snappy!
Right! [he and the Waddle Dees make another ten-course meal and start bringing it to the king] Hup, two, three, four, we bring the food and he wants more, five, six, seven, eight, the king had better watch his weight.
[snacking on his latest ten-course meal] What's takin' them guards so long to track my monster?
EscargoonFinish your snack, sire. I'm checkin' the cameras. [sees WolfWrath blowing fire everywhere it goes, even at the cameras] Ahh! What's it doing?! [sees even more of the castle halls on fire] Ah! WolfWrath's a fire dog!
[gasps in anger and starts yelling at the N.M.E. Sales Guy] What're you tryin' to pull here?! That monster's barbecuin' my whole castle!
Oops! I guess I forgot to mention that. WolfWrath needs to set fires to get the strength for its attacks.
[growling with anger, he's finally had enough and he gives an order to the Waddle Dees] Throw that WolfWrath outta here!
Dedede's buildin' something pretty big.
From the looks of all that heavy equipment, I bet it's some kind of factory.
So... what is a factory, Tiff?
It must have something to do with facts.
No, a factory's a big place where they build things.
Well, you don't say! That's good news.
Hmph. I'd like to know what they're building.
[King Dedede and Escargoon drive in]
A---ttention citizens and everybody else living here! Thanks to me, Cappy Town's finally gonna join up with the Industrial Revolution!
Industrial?
Revolution?
EscargoonThat's right, you backward bumpkins. It's time to ditch your darning needles, get your heads out of your butter churns, and say "howdy-do" to the 21st century!
When tomorrow morning comes and you hear that siren sound, mosey on down to the factory here and witness a shiny new future! [he and Escargoon both laugh]
EscargoonThere are your new uniforms... and wear some undergarments!
[everyone checks out the new factory work uniforms]
Oh, I love the color!
A no-nonsense garment. Oh!
These look like prison uniforms.
EscargoonAh, hold your comments. What are you, a fashion model?
What happens if we put 'em on?
EscargoonYou get to hang out at the Dedede Factory as long as you want.
Yeah, and you also get free household appliances!
[everyone but Tiff reacts in excitement]
That sounds great!
When will the factory be completed?
EscargoonFirst thing tomorrow morning!
I'll see ya at the grand opening, folks! [he and Escargoon both laugh again]
I don't trust 'em, Kirby.
Poyo?
Oh, don't be such a spoilsport. This factory thing sounds like fun!
We'll see about that.
Hey, Kirby!
EscargoonHe's all packed and shipped by now.
Well, if you're not gonna do anything to save Kirby, I will!
So, I see the troublemaker’s back.
EscargoonI hope you’re not here to rouse more rabble.
Nope. Now I want to be a team player so I can get a new TV.
What do you think?
EscargoonWelcome aboard, sweetie!
[laughs] Ice Dragon Robot!
EscargoonIt's our coolest monster yet, built by our little Cappy friends.
Uh oh.
Dedede made us think he was making appliances, but he was really building a giant robot.
That creep! I'd like to tear it apart with my bare hands!
Me too!
So would I!
Well, I'm gonna do it!
Tuff, no. [Tuff makes a mad dash towards the Ice Dragon Robot anyway]
Yuck! Yuck!! YUCK!!! This slop ain't fit for a doggone dog! There's gotta be something here that's eatable! [takes a bite of a salad, chews for a few seconds then bursts into tears] I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
EscargoonBut Majesty, we've got other choices. Instant noodles, cat food, crunchy liver-and-bacon dog treats, hmm? [Dedede looms over him]
I WANT SOMETHIN' TASTY!!!!!
[later, at Restaurant Kawasaki...]
Yuck! Yuck!! YUCK!!! THIS TASTES LIKE TRASH!!! Kawasaki, ain't you got nothing digestion-able in this here dump!?
Sorry, Sire. That's every dish on the menu.
You ain't no chef, YOU'RE A GARBAGEMAN!!
EscargoonCome clean, Kawasaki. All chefs have secret recipes. Don't hold out on us!
I'm not! That's all I have!
What a loser. Let's get out of here.
But what about your bill?
Forget it, pizza-face! [throws a pizza at Kawasaki]
[tastes the pizza] It tastes okay to me...
Greetings, Triple D.
I need a top-class chef for my new restaurant.
You owning a restaurant is like a termite owning a lumber yard.
I’ll revolutionize Cappy Town’s coo-zine, then I’ll flambé Kirby in a food-for-all.
That's an appetizing proposition. Sit back while we cook up a cook!
[the Monster Delivery system activates, and Monsieur Goan emerges from the Monster Transmitter]
He looks real continental-like.
N.M.E. Sales Guy: May I introduce... Monsieur Goan!
Voilà! Le tournedos.
Tornado?
EscargoonNot tornado. Tournedos. That's a fancy foreign language, Sire. [gets bonked by Dedede]
I was joking, ya beanhead!
Take a taste, Your Majesty. See what you think of his cooking.
[Dedede tastes Goan's cooking. He enjoys the taste]
Whoo! Yeah! This guy’s chow is full of pow!
I take it that’s a thumbs up.
Yuuum! [eats more of Goan's tasty food]
EscargoonI want some! I want some! Just a teensy-weensy taste... [reaches for Goan's food but gets bonked again]
This is yuuum-tastic! [licks the last of the sauce on Goan's dish] This sauce is sauce-alicious! [hands his now-empty plate back to Goan] Monsieur Goan, first we're gonna tickle them Cappies' taste buds. Then we're gonna tackle Kirby!
Oui.
EscargoonBonsoir!
My wife and I are honored to be your first customers.
I love the decor. It's so elegant!
EscargoonNo expense has been spared to create the ultimate dining experience for the citizens of Cappy Town.
Mmm... the flavors are fascinating. I wonder what that delightfully tangy taste is?
EscargoonThat's essence of kumquat, also found in this dish.
Hmm. I'm not sure I'm gonna like orange food.
EscargoonWe feel an adventurous pallet is a happy pallet.
Marvelous!
EscargoonAnd now we present... tonight's main entrée!
[Goan enters and serves several dishes of two pieces of meat, a small piece of salad, and a strawberry each]
Wah! That's it?
EscargoonIt may be tiny, but what's there is grade A, top of the line quality!
But...
EscargoonJust taste it and see!
[Kirby and the family try their bites]
The food is fantastico!
Absolutely smashing, Escargoon!
EscargoonMonsieur Goan will be delighted!
More, please!
[Tiff, however, is feeling disgusted]
[Laughing] Won't be long now, Kirby!
[freezes]
Kirby!
EscargoonRelax, you'll feel a lot better when you try a bracing bowl of Kirby sorbet.
Just chill out, Kirby.
EscargoonAlright, what's this all about a punishment?
If you ask me, it's punishment enough to mangle with the peasants!
Listen, you tried to make everybody eat Kirby, so now it's your turn.
[King Dedede and Escargoon gasp together in confusion]
You gotta eat Kawasaki's Toxic Atomic Curry!
[Dedede and Escargoon laugh at the ridiculous-sounding thought of eating Toxic Atomic Curry]
What'chu mean? That ain't no kind of punishment at all!
EscargoonThere's nothing you can cook up that's too hot for us to handle!
Here you go! [serves Dedede and Escargoon the Toxic Atomic Curry]
Looks wimpy!
EscargoonYeah, no sweat!
[Dedede and Escargoon try their bites of the Toxic Atomic Curry, then they turn red and scream as they become ablaze and then turn into ashes. Everyone laughs but then Kirby coughs up a small flame and becomes confused]
Aha! "The common cuckoo: This bird lays its eggs in the nest of other birds, leaving their offspring to be hatched and raised by the inhabitants of the invaded nest."
Well lookie here. Little Miss Brainy's got 'er nose stuck inside another book.
EscargoonReading up on egg-xistentialism?
I bet you two are the ones who stuck that egg in Tokkori's nest.
Now why would we do something like that?
EscargoonHow do you know it's not really Kirby's anyway? After all, it wouldn't be the first time that little dodo bird laid an egg.
Laid a egg!
[Tiff growls at what Dedede and Escargoon had just said]
EscargoonI hope this works, sire.
Wait'll they see what hatches.
That baby monster finally hatched!
EscargoonBut payin' for two monsters is expensive. I hope this plan works!
It'll work 'less you do somethin' to mess it up!
EscargoonI'm sure it'll work like a charm.
[Kawasaki throws the Gira extract, which bounces off Chef Shiitake, then off the wall... and into Kirby’s mouth, and he swallows it.]
No, Kirby, don’t eat that!
[The sclera in Kirby’s eyes turned purple due to the Gira extract taking effect.]
W-what’s gonna happen?!
I don’t even wanna think about it!
[Kirby walks over and grabs a fork and knife, and does a happy skip in place, but when he sees King Triple-D, he sees him as a nice roast turkey, then he sees Escargoon as a plate of escargot with lemon slices, then Mayor Len and his wife as hot dogs, Lady Like and Sir Ebrum’s heads as soft serve, and the other Cappies as various food items.]
[Kirby runs up and gives chase to his majesty and his right-hand snail.]
[Sir Ebrum and Mayor Len try to intervene.]
Control yourself, Kirby!
[Kirby was still imagining them as food, so then a few more joined the chase.]
[Cut to the king and Escargoon being chased by a food-dazed Kirby in the hallways of Castle Dedede.
Keep away from me!
[Then King Dedede runs in his personal phone booth, leaving Escargoon outside.]
EscargoonHey!
[The king proceeds to dial the N.M.E. Sales Guy.]
S.O.S.! I need an emergency download here!
Chill, 3-D. I’ll just charge extra for the express service.
I don’t care, just hurry up!
Groovy.
King DededeKenichi Ogata · 331 quotes
TTiff254 quotes
TTuff174 quotes
Meta KnightAtsushi Kisaichi · 84 quotes
NMN.M.E. Sales Guy77 quotes
KirbyMakiko Ohmoto · 75 quotes
Chef KawasakiNobuo Tobita · 61 quotes
CBChief Bookem41 quotes
MLMayor Len Blustergas40 quotes
TokkoriFujiko Takimoto · 36 quotes
Lady LikeYuko Mizutani · 31 quotes
Sir EbrumTakashi Nagasako · 30 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Kirby: Right Back at Ya! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.