Escargoon quotes from Kirby: Right Back at Ya!

Say what? A princess?

Escargoon

Her name's Princess Rona, and I've heard through the grapevine that she's a real peach.

She sure sounds like a big hunk of heaven to me.

Escargoon

Not so quick, King Casanova. How do you know she's available?

[hugs Escargoon] Why else would she be comin' to Cappy Town but to find herself a royal husband? [throws Escargoon aside] Now get there straight to work! We gonna have ourselves a royal weddin'!

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TTuff

Wow, Tiff, I never knew what girls could be like 'til I met Princess Rona.

And what is that supposed to mean?

TTuff

Before I met Princess Rona, I thought all girls were like you.

Is that so? Well before I met Commander Vee, I thought boys were like you. But now I know they can be gallant and handsome. ["Commander Vee" turns to her as if "he" just heard her. She gasps] I hope he didn't just hear me...

You must be Sir Ebrum's daughter, Tiff. I'm very pleased to meet you, Tiff.

I'm very pleased to meet you, Commander Vee.

And this amiable young man must be your brother Tuff.

TTuff

[groans] What's amiable mean?

And who's your little pink pet?

Kirby isn't a pet! Kirby's a Star Warrior, Commander Vee.

Oh, a Star Warrior! I beg your pardon, Kirby! Please forgive my mistake. I'm especially pleased to make your acquaintance.

Kirby

Poyo! [moves closer to "Vee" in a friendly manner]

[laughs] You're quite friendly for a warrior.

[laughs and bursts in with a bouquet of roses in hand] Sorry to louse up yer lunch. Ah, blossoms for a blossom.

I am very grateful, King.

Princess, I'm about to show ya the best time ya ever had in yer royal life.

I'm afraid that won't be possible.

Yeah? Why not?

Her Highness needs to rest after a long journey to your planet, and she doesn't desire a tour guide.

What's that?

Escargoon

Are you sure? He knows where all the hot spots are. He knows where you can get a pizza at 3 in the morning.

It's getting very late. Good night, Kirby.

Kirby

Poyo.

On behalf of the Princess, we thank you for your kind hospitality.

Yes. Thank you very much.

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That Vee vermin's makin' it hard for me to catch myself a queen.

Escargoon

Well it's not all his fault. Honestly, you're not exactly personality plus.

I'm gonna practice my proposal.

[later, King Dedede, Escargoon, and the Waddle Dees have set up a scene to practice the marriage proposal, with Escargoon perched up high]

[practicing his proposal to Princess Rona] Ah, sweet princess, of my heart.

Escargoon

[swoons]

From the moment I laid my big ol' eyes on your big ol' head, I knew you were my love.

Escargoon

[swoons again]

And to show you how much I love you, I wrote a little thingy. This is when we cue the music. You over there, hit the button!

[The Waddle Dee starts playing the music]

Oh, don't you know, I love you, baby yeah ♪ I love you ♪

Escargoon

I give you four stars for presentation. [gets hit by Dedede's notebook]

Yeah, you'll see! She will be mine!

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Sir Ebrum

Did you get a glimpse of our coastline as you came in, Princess Rona?

Yes, it was so beautiful and interesting, Sir Ebrum.

Lady Like

[sighs]

[suddenly, the Waddle Dees close the curtains to the surprise of Sir Ebrum, Lady Like, and "Princess Rona", and King Dedede bursts in wearing a blue tuxedo and carrying a rose, dancing across the table towards "Rona" before the Waddle Dees generate smoke effects and Escargoon hands him a microphone]

I wanna make you miiiine ♪ Oh yeeeah, babyyy ♪ How's about we get hitched, honey?

Sir Ebrum

Good gracious!

[Lady Like faints and Sir Ebrum catches her]

Marry me, sugar pie. Can't you see I wanna make you my one and only flushin' bride?

RPReal Princess Rona

Excuse me!

[King Dedede gasps]

RPReal Princess Rona

King Dedede, I see you still persist in trying to woo the princess. [the Waddle Dees focus their lights on her] However, the princess remains unmoved by your misguided affection.

You stay outta this, ya pointy-headed pipsqueak!

RPReal Princess Rona

Then the princess will speak for herself.

I am sorry, but I cannot accept your proposal.

[Dedede's rose shatters like glass]

[cries] I wanna marry the pretty princess!

Escargoon

[To Princess Rona] You've broken the king's heart! [softly] How? I don't know, he doesn't have one.

You've made a mock-aroon of me, Mushroom Head! Let's duel! [throws glove at Rona]

Lady Like

Ebrum... [faints and is caught by Sir Ebrum again]

RPReal Princess Rona

I accept your challenge.

Oh, no.

Kirby

Poyo.

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GGengu

That's no fair!

Oh yeah? Well have you ever known me to play fair?! [laughs]

Escargoon

You might wanna duck, sire.

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[laughs] Just what's he tryin' to inhale?

Escargoon

Your sword there.

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EPElder Pipi

Princess Rona!

PRPrincess Rona

Didn't I fool you?

EPElder Pipi

I say, Princess. Surely not another disguise.

CBChief Bookem

Disguise?!

MLMayor Len Blustergas

That's the princess?!

CBChief Bookem

What's going on here?!

PRPrincess Rona

I beg your pardon for my subterfuge, kind citizens. My lady-in-waiting took my place and I her.

EPElder Pipi

I trust you have had enough enjoyment for a while.

PRPrincess Rona

We shall discuss this matter privately, but I enjoyed it immensely.

[everyone laughs]

TTuggle

Looks like you won't be catering King Dedede's wedding.

My dreams are shattered. How will I ever fill this emptiness?

Escargoon

Ah, just do what you normally do. Have seven cheeseburgers.

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Escargoon! Get this caterpillar off of me!

Escargoon

I guess I used too much formula, but at least we know it works!

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Tokkori

These two stole your chick, and they were tryin' to turn it into a flyin' freakshow!

[Dyna Blade angrily glares at both Dedede and Escargoon]

Escargoon

Uh, we can explain...

But you ain't gonna listen, are ya?

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Listen up, Dyna Bully! I'll have yer flyin' license revoked if you don't let us go!

[Dyna Blade drops Dedede and Escargoon towards the river and they scream]

Escargoon

I think our chances of survival are takin' a nose dive!

This is all yer fault, and if I don't survive, you're fired!

Escargoon

Let me hold on, maybe your belly will break our fall.

[Dedede and Escargoon scream some more as they fall into the forest river below]

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Who's so special to ya?

Escargoon

It's my... it's my... It's my mommy!

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CBChief Bookem

Thanks to your son, crime is pretty low here. Of course, our taxes are pretty steep.

ESEscargoon's Mother

Junior, you tax your subjects?!

Escargoon

[to Mayor Len] No more taxes!

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[screams twice] You two's Escar-dentical!

ESEscargoon's Mother

Why did that vulgar loudmouth call himself king?

Escargoon

Eh... well...

Don't worry. That guy's just pretending to be king.

ESEscargoon's Mother

He's pretending? But why?

It's his job to act crazy. Dedede's the court jester.

ESEscargoon's Mother

Court jester? You mean he's a clown?

[growls]

How's it going, Jester Dedede? I'd like to introduce you to Escargoon's mother!

That's his mama? [laughs] Just goes to show your bananas don't fall far from the tree! [laughs even harder] Well at least now I can see where Escargoony gets all his looks from! [wheezes]

ESEscargoon's Mother

: Junior's always looked like me ever since he was a bitsy baby.

Since you was a baby, huh? I bet you's was cute!

Escargoon

[clears throat] You may go take a hike now.

Who do ya think you are, orderin' me around?!