King Dedede quotes from Kirby: Right Back at Ya!

King Dedede

Stick a sock in it, slug-mug! We gotta find out why today's so special!

King Dedede

Quiet! It is my royal duty to hog every treasure in this here kingdom!

King Dedede

[hearty laughter] It’s funny how painless pain is when it ain’t happening to you!

King Dedede

I'm me, alrighty. I think it's about time to extra-cise my kingly duties and protect my subjects!

King Dedede

A Star Warrior ain't supposed to be protectin' no monster!

King Dedede

Now that's my kind of clownin' around! Wonder if that guy does birthday parties?

King Dedede

[after letting the Demon Frog after he transforms himself into Demon Dedede, evilly deep voice] You puny peewees better be scared, 'cause I'm the baddest dude on the whole planet!

Escargoon

Monster!? That's ridiculous! There's no monster in this castle!

Yes, there is! It's big and it's scary and it eats everything in sight!

Escargoon

That's King Dedede! There's no monster. Now go back to your homes so His Majesty can finish his supper in peace!

Hey, wait a minute, Escargoon! Not so fast! [Tiff, her brother Tuff, and their parents Sir Ebrum and Lady Like enter the throne room] How do we know you're not lying again?

Yeah, like you usually do?

Escargoon

You have no right to speak to me that way. Your parents should slap you silly.

Papa, something funny's going on!

Sir Ebrum

You might be right, Tiff. A monster is the kind of thing Dedede would love.

Lady Like

The king must be behind this!

Escargoon

You're a court official, how dare you accuse his royal highness! [to King Dedede] Want me to check 'em in for a two-week stay in the dungeon, sweet kingy?

King Dedede

[Laughs and turns to face everyone else] A monster, huh? Would the monster happen to look anything like that? [He points to a fish tank containing a small octopus]

That's it! That's the monster!

Except it was a hundred times bigger!

King Dedede

[laughs] Well you can see this ain't no monster, it's my new pet octopus. And the only thing he likes to eat is sardines.

King Dedede

Hehehehe. Little fella wouldn't hurt a fly unless it was on the end of a fishhook! [laughs]

Escargoon

Of course it wouldn't. Now get out and go back to your trailer park so the king can have his dessert! Go on! Poof, you're gone!

Tell me, citizens of Dream Land. For what purpose have you come to consult me?

Sir Ebrum

We seek your wisdom and knowledge, Kabu! For three nights a giant monster has been stealing our sheep.

Lady Like

And it's robbing me of my beauty sleep.

King Dedede says it's not his monster...

But I don't believe that rascal.

You know the truth, Kabu!

Please tell us where the monster is, Kabu, and how we can make it go away.

The monster is here. And all of Dream Land is in grave danger.

Why did he come here?

It was called here by your own King Dedede. [in the distance, Dedede and Escargoon are watching from Dedede's tank]

Escargoon

Sounds like the big Kabu-na's got your number, crownie.

King Dedede

[punches Escargoon on the head] That tattle-telling tiki!

The monster was created, by one far more powerful than King Dedede.

I'd like to lock both of them up.

What can we do to stop them?

There is nothing you can do.

Sir Ebrum

Oh dear!

Lady Like

Oh dear me!

Then is Dream Land doomed?

Can anybody help, Kabu?

There is one hope... a Star Warrior traveling through space... whose name is Kirby.

Kirby.

Yay, Kirby!

Hmmm, bet he's cute!

King Dedede

[He and Escargoon enter] That's trash you're talking, Kabu. Ain't no such person as Kirby.

Escargoon

That's right. You're full of Kabu-loney.

Kabu can see the future.

King Dedede

Then why don't you predict what's gonna happen when I push this here button?

I predict you will not push it.

King Dedede

Hey Escargoon, did ya hear that one? [laughs] Well I predict you're dead wrong!

Welcome to Nightmare Enterprises, King Dedede. How may I assist you?

King Dedede

Look, pal, I don't like to complain, but I paid you folks a lot of money for an octopus monster and it turned out to be a little shrimp.

Just give it time, Your Highness, and I guarantee that little shrimp will grow on you.

King Dedede

Alright.

King Dedede

[screams upon seeing that Octacon has grown to its true size] HOLY CALAMARI!

Escargoon

Get back in your tank, you overgrown appetizer!

King Dedede

[tackles Escargoon] Find the receipt for this thing, 'cause I want my money back!

Meta Knight

You had better leave, Sire.

King Dedede

We gotta do somethin'. We gotta get rid of Kirby somehow before he gets settled in here.

Escargoon

Well, King Dedede, if you want my opinion-- [Dedede bonks him on the head with his binoculars]

King Dedede

Who wants your opinion, when I want some monster that's gonna get rid of that little pink pest once and for all? [activates the monitor and the N.M.E. Sales Guy comes on screen]

Welcome back to Nightmare Enterprises online monster site, King Dedede. As you know, we offer a full line of powerful monsters. [shows several mini-monsters dancing]

King Dedede

Yeah, well that octopus you sent me last time was a weaklin'.

Now that we know your opponent is Kirby, all our monsters have new, improved attack powers. [gets beaten up by the mini-monsters] See what I mean?

King Dedede

They look like rejects to me. I need somethin' strong enough to get rid o' that Kirby...for good!

Escargoon

Kirby's sure strikin' out with the plates.

King Dedede

Let's see if he can... slide.

King Dedede

What is this, a paperweight?

No, King. It's a monster. A super-high density monster. We like to call him Blocky.

King Dedede

What am I supposed to do, drop it in the road and wait for Kirby to trip over it?

Just let me give you a little demo.

Escargoon

[about Blocky] This thing's even heavier than you are.

King Dedede

Yeah. Big enough to crush Kirby!