King Dedede quotes from Kirby: Right Back at Ya!

King Dedede

This here's an illegal gatherin', so if you rioters don't want to get incarcerated, cease and disperse immediately.

Rioters?

Hey! We're just having a party.

Escargoon

Oh goody. They're resisting.

King Dedede

Then I enforce to use force.

King Dedede

You dumb blockhead!

Escargoon

We're sunk and so is he!

King Dedede

I'm gonna miss my little Blocky! (cries)

Escargoon

Well, Sire, it just goes to show you shouldn't take your monsters for granite.

King Dedede

Well, that pink punk ain't gonna make a monkey outta King Dedede! [starts driving back to his castle only to be interrupted by Meta Knight] Outta my way, Meta Knight!

Meta Knight

Sire, it is my duty to warn you. Kirby has great power now.

King Dedede

Yeah? Well, who's the king around here, you or me?

Escargoon

Move it or lose it!

Meta Knight

It pains me to do this, sire. But I am afraid I must. [kicks Dedede's tank downhill]

King Dedede

Hey! What's happening?!

Escargoon

We're going backwards!

King Dedede

I know that! Hit the brakes!

Escargoon

They won't hold, we're gonna crash!

King Dedede

Do something!

Escargoon

Like what?!

King Dedede

Break my fall!

King Dedede

QUIET!!! [pointing at Tiff] You're hidin' somethin' from me!

Hmph.

Sir Ebrum

Please, Your Majesty, calm down.

Lady Like

Use your brain instead of your mouth. [Sir Ebrum tries to shush her]

King Dedede

Sir Ebrum. Lady Like. This here daughter of yours is holdin' information from me. She keepin' secrets about Kirby.

Escargoon

You've been aiding an alien, you traitor.

Well if she's a traitor, prove it!

King Dedede

It just so happens I got proof right here. [holds up a picture of a familiar-looking scene] This picture look familiar?

That's Kirby beatin' the monster!

King Dedede

[tears another picture in half] Now what do you got to say for yourselves?

Lady Like

[as she and the rest of the family look at the pictures] That Kirby is really photogenic.

Sir Ebrum

Did you use a digital camera, Sire?

King Dedede

Listen here! You two think you're smart, don't ya? Well I'm a lot smarter. [holds up a picture of Kirby's starship] Kirby ain't goin' nowhere without this!

King Dedede

What's Kracko firin' at us for?!

Escargoon

I dunno! I'm as shocked as you are!

Just give it time! It'll get the job done.

King Dedede

[sneezes] No way, José! You take it back!

Sorry, Your Majesty. But our contract states that Kracko can't be sent backo! [laughs]

King Dedede

That's a low-down dirty-- [sneezes again]

Escargoon

Sire, the studio's gone with the wind!

King Dedede

That there's a loooow blow!

King Dedede

Look at all the variety. There's shy birds... fly birds... blue birds... two birds... crazy birds... and lazy birds!

Escargoon

Yeah, bird watching's great if you like boredom.

King Dedede

[singing, while using his tank's crop-duster to make a huge image in the ground of Kirby with a fork and knife next to Dyna Blade's egg] ♪ Dyna Blade had an egg she laid, E-I-E-I-O! But a handsome king had a plan he made, E-I-E-I-O! When Kirby eats that big old egg, Dyna Blade gonna grab Kirby by the leg, drag him away to her secret lair, finally get Kirby out of my hair! Dyna Blade- ♪ Hey, look!

Escargoon

Let's hide.

Escargoon

Clear! Clear for talent! Well whaddaya know? That skeleton's a dead ringer for King Dedede.

Chef Kawasaki

This means... there never was a Cappy King in the good old days.

There wasn't no good old days, either.

King Dedede

This makes my day! [laughs alongside Escargoon]

Here we are, Your Highness.

At your service.

Escargoon

What took you fa-lolly-gaggers so long? This is urgent.

King Dedede

Go see the fortune teller lady. Ask her how my luck's gonna be today.

Sure. Come on.

Escargoon

Not so fast! No reason for you both to go.

[both gasp]

Escargoon

Fololo can fly over the fortune teller alone. You stay here in the castle, missy.

Fololo and I never split up.

Yeah, we're a team. Like peanut butter and jelly.

King Dedede

Well today, just make like you're oil and water. And that there's an order.

Sorry.

King Dedede

[growls angrily] Do what I tell ya! I'm the king around here!

[both shake nervously]

We answer to Sir Ebrum, Your Majesty.

Yes. And to Lady Like, too.

Escargoon

Maybe so, but you're servants, not relatives. They can't save ya if the king decides to toss ya out of the kingdom.

King Dedede

You do what I say and split up... or both of you is outta here!

Escargoon

Sire, a message from your fortune teller.

King Dedede

Well? What's my soothsayer say?

Escargoon

I'm lookin', I'm lookin'! It says, "If you look for trouble, your trouble will double." [gasps]

King Dedede

Hmph. What's that mumbo-gumbo supposed to mean?

Escargoon

I'm not sure, but there's more.

King Dedede

Good. Is it next week's lottery numbers?

Escargoon

If it was, I wouldn't tell you. It says, "Your account is past due. Pay up, you cheap tightwad!" [Dedede hammers him] Great. Just 'cause I'm a snail, I get slugged.

King Dedede

Well I'll show her. I'm orderin' a new monster.

Escargoon

Did you order me some aspirin?

Escargoon

I'll tell you one thing. That's the first time in my life I had a good head on my shoulders.

King Dedede

Yeah, it was real easy to carry 'cause it wasn't enough limit.

Escargoon

Least I don't have a waist size as big as my IQ.

King Dedede

[laughs] You're a real cut-up, Slice n' Splice.

Thank you, Sire.

Escargoon

Yes, he's very entertaining. Maybe he could work in the document shredding department.

King Dedede

Slice n' Splice, we're gonna have some fun. Let's go show Cappy Town what you can do.

What's that?

Don't know, but it looks unfriendly.

King Dedede

Them Cappy-ccinos need half-and-half'in'! [sics Slice 'n Splice on the townsfolk, resulting in a massive mix-up of their body parts with several screams let out]

Oh, this is baaaa-d.

Aw, are you kidding?

King Dedede

[laughs] Un-baa-lievable!

Escargoon

Why'd ya have to go and mix us up with sheep? I know you like fleecing your subjects, but this is ridiculous.

Tokkori

Just look at me. I used to be fine and feathery. Now I'm fat and furry.

Have a gander at me, mate! A mammal's gotta be bats to want wings!

Tokkori

I want my body back as much as you do, but that there monster's too tough for us to tackle.

Crikey. Kirby's gonna have to give that beast a shalackin' so I can get me fur back.

Tokkori

Let's go find him.

Right.

King Dedede

Say, you Cappies look kinda sheepish. Hah! Sheepish! That's a good one! [laughs]

King Dedede! [Dedede looks at Bookem with a shocked expression on his face] Body-snatchin's illegal.

King Dedede

So what? You may have my body, but I'm still head around here!

We demand you return us to normal, your highness. We're one furious flock!

Chef Kawasaki

I like lamb chops, but this is ridiculous.

Escargoon

Listen, we don't wanna start a stampede. Let's give their bodies back and go after Kirby.

King Dedede

Good idea. I'm glad I thought of it. Listen up! I've done decided to be magnanimous and give y'all yer Cappy bodies back. Slice n' Splice, stick 'em all back together!