King of the Hill · Season 14, Episode 3
“Bobby Gets Grilled” · Season 14, Episode 3
In this episode: Bobby Hill (4), Hank Rutherford Hill (3), Dale Gribble (2), Peggy Hill (2), Emilio (2), Nancy Gribble (1), Chane (1)
What's wrong, Chef Bobby? You look paler than usual. Like scared mayonnaise.
Oh man, my parents want a tour of the place, and I haven't told my dad that I use Japanese Binchotan coals to cook instead of propane.
So what?
Emilio, my dad loves four things in life: America, my mom, me, and propane, and when I was a kid, depending on the week, propane would be above me on the list.
So let's take a look at that propane setup.
Uh, dad...
[noticing charcoal in the grill] Charcoal? Ohh, I get it. This is just for show. Lure in the out-of-towners. The propane's in the back, right?
Dad, dad, dad! I use charcoal to cook. Not propane.
[everyone gasps]
Here we go...
What? But we went over the different systems for hours over the phone! Those were some of the best times we ever spent together. Were all those "uh-huhs" you said after every point I made just lies?
No, I considered propane.
Considered?! It gets worse.
I don't get it, Peggy. Why can't he make a restaurant where he cooks on a propane backyard grill just like everybody else in Texas? That boy ain't right.
Now Hank, Bobby is not our little boy anymore. He is his own man.
Alright then. That man ain't right.
Hello. I'm the owner of Robota Chane, and we'd like to talk to the owner of this fine establishment.
I am the owner.
But we spoke to a Mr. Yoshida on the phone.
That is me.
Dude, don't be a dick. Go get the owner. He's probably a little guy? Black hair?
Get out of my shop!
Look, I get it. You hate your job. Just tell Yoshida we're here.
[Yoshida looks upset]
Chane, I think this is Mr. Yoshida.
But you're black.
I was adopted as a baby by Makoto and Yamamoto Junko, and raised in Japan! I'm Japanese. You think coming in here with some token Japanese guy is going to make me sell out?
I'm Laotian.
Even worse! You think Asians can't steal culture from other Asians? Don't get me started on Hapkido. That shit's just Aikido for Korean.
Mr. Yoshida, please! We've got a restaurant to run, and I'm turning a lot of people on to traditional Binchotan-flavored robata. Now why isn't that a good thing?
Still no.
You don't understand! I'm down to my last box! I'll have to close my restaurant if I don't get more.
Good! You should have thought of that before you weren't Japanese!
What?!
Now I know this guy's Japanese, 'cause he's stubborn as hell! Your loss, dude! We're gonna find another wood burner. Do you know who my father is? Ted Wassanasong.
Did he play for the Tokyo Giants?
What? No. But, he can do anything. In fact, he could start a Binchotan business and drive you out of the state!
Oh yeah? Well, then I'll just sue you for racial discrimination against black small businesses.
You can't play two race cards!
Hijole, the cojones on this guy!
Man, if there was a Laotian martial art, I'd use it to kick your ass!
There is a Laotian martial art. It's called Muay Lao.
Don't tell me about my culture! It's called "suck it!"
You'll work as a team, and make important decisions about the September 2008 housing crisis, during the collapse of the subprime mortgage industry when the government debated the takeover of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.
Ooh, that's a juicy one.
Would you like to be the president?
... I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will-
A simple "yes" would have sufficed. Ma'am, you'll be Fed Chairman John Paulson.
Ho'yeah! I can buy and sell all of you losers.
Sug, can I be the Fannie Mae president? I just like the name Fannie Mae.
Huh- sure.
And I'll be the head of the shadowy Trilateral Commission, David Rockefeller. [to the man next to him] And you'll be the Queen of England. We all know that the president's just a puppet, and that the queen and Lyndon LaRouche pulled all the strings.
That's not true, Dale.
Can you prove that it isn't true? Can you, Hank?
Mr. President to you, Rockefeller.
Can I be Epstein?
From Welcome Back, Kotter? No. Why?
Can I be Obama's Kenyan handler?
Obama was born in Hawaii. That's reason enough not to vote for him without making stuff up. [to the guide] Wait, aren't you gonna do anything?
Ha. You're the president.
No, not if this group isn't gonna respect the historical accuracy. I might as well stand here and do nothing.
Fine. Vice President it is.
Are you any relaton to Cotton Hill?
[laughs] I'm his grandson.
He machine-gunned my grandfather.
So he was one of the "fitty men"?
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