He's my therapist Sean, you wanted me to go to therapy, I'm going. Are you happy now? Would you like to shout it to the world? [shouting] MAXINE GRAY... IS IN... THERAPY!
And not a moment too soon.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
How come every time our family goes to church something embarrassing happens?
FGFlower Guy
Are you Maxine Gray? These are for Maxine Gray.
I'm Maxine Gray, but there must be some mistake. You see my fiancée used to send me flowers all the time, but he died and I haven't been nice to anyone since then.
FGFlower Guy
Well, there must be a card somewhere.
[reads card] I can't accept these, take them back.
FGFlower Guy
What's your probelem lady? This is the nicest arrangement in the truck.
These flowers come from a man that I barely know. We spent one night together.
FGFlower Guy
You must have made some impression [sees look on Maxine's face] Um. I'll say you weren't home.
Victor and I don’t like the fact that you and his dad are dating.
We aren't dating. Going to dinner is not a date. It’s just not.
Amy, I'll be back later.
Where are you going mom?
Out to dinner with a friend.
Are you going on a date?
No not a date, just dinner with a male companion
Dinner with a male companion is a date.
It's not if I say it's not.
[to Lauren] It's not the same thing.
[to David] Why did you pick my mom? She dumps people. You know; you were at the wedding.
You know the pimp?
Yes, he's one of my foster pimps...uh, parents.
[After Maxine shouts]
Mom, are you okay?
[trying not to laugh] Of course, but I am 65 years old, and my boyfriend's mother hates me.
PHProsecutor Harcourt
The only thing that could heal the wound was to steal underwear.
[To Lauren, as the cupcakes burn and the smoke alarm sounds] Cupcakes cause cancer!
[After their night of speed dating] Peter's looking pretty good right now.
Oscar's looking pretty good right now.
[Both turn and look at Amy]
David McClaren's still an ass.
When I die of boredom, you're going to be short a doctor.
God, Mom! You ditched him already? You must have set a new record!
What?
TTodd
I didn't say anything.
And yet, I heard you.
[After seeing Father Ted, now known as Teresa, in a skirt and makeup] Thought you'd be shorter...and a guy.
[about Sean's new tie] I think it would very, very good on Jimmy Smits.
A bowl of soup would look good on Jimmy Smits.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Judging Amy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.