They're coming, I swear. Better late than never. (Joe and Nick left the classroom and they go to the table and Nick takes his lunch bag from Kevin then he sits upright) Finally, guys. (the three students walk away)
So you guys, I was thinking we should do something special for Stella for our "friend-a-versary" like throw her a party.
We need to figure out what kind of party a girl would like. You know what we need for that?
A girl. Excuse me, miss! (asks a female student)
No, Joe, not just any girl. We need Macy.
I wasn't following you around trying to listen to your conversation if that's what you're suggesting.
Macy, we need your help. We want to throw a party for Stella.
What kind of party would Stella really like?
Stella love surprises and I love surprises too. I love ice cream and-- and party games and balloon animals.
Oh right, Stella. Um... Stella loves karaoke.
That's right. We can throw her a surprise karaoke party. Can you come over later and help us plan it?
Hey, guys. (walk over to the table)
Shh, remember, big surprise.
Oh no, I'm not good at this.
Not good at what? (asks Kevin)
(stammers) C--crunking. (stands up) (Nick grabs the lunch bag) (hip-hop music plays) (moans)
Kevin, let's crunk it over there, please. (stands up and takes Kevin's bag and lunch off the table then tosses the bag and the lunch to Kevin but Kevin picks up his bag and lunch)
Oh! oh! Okay. (Nick and Kevin leave Stella, Joe and Macy)
(sighs) Phew, he almost blew it.
Almost blew what? (sits down)
This trumpet. (shows the music instrument and holds it) (laughs)
Macy: Right! 'Cause you're not allowed to blow it in the hallways. (chuckles)
I'll just go and put it in my locker.
Macy: You know what? (points to the instrument) That looks heavy. I'll go help you. (leaves with Joe)
Getting in touch with my inner Kevin. The Kevin that will prove that your hacky sack is wacky sack.
(laughs) Well, can your inner Kevin do this? (shows a demonstration of a few tricks)
Your skills are great, but can you do this? (inhales)
Not true. I beat you again... in here. (points to his mind) It was awesome. You're still crying... in here. (points to his mind again)
(enters the living room) Hey. Did I hear you guys are having a hacky sack competition?
You are correct, father-son.
Kevin's adopted this whole kung-fu thing to try and psych me out.
Yeah, you can blame me for that. I let him watch too many kung-fu movies when he had the chicken pox. I think it altered him.
(out of sync) If I do not beat you, my evil twin brother will, once he wakes up from his coma! (gong chimes)
Definitely the kung-fu movies. You know, that or the high fever. (leaves) (Nick shakes his head disappointed)
(gasps) The croonmaster 5000. Stella's gonna freak. She thought the 4000 was awesome. (Joe opens the manual)
Yeah, but this one's even a thousand times more awesome. (flips the pages of the manual) But you've got to be a genious to figure out how to turn this thing on.
(takes the manual from Joe) Let me see this. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. (closes the manual and throws it on the floor) (dance music playing)
Hello! is anybody up there?
(gasps) Uh-oh! Stella's in the house.
Hide the evidence! (she lets the balloons go to the ceiling then covers the flowers) (StellaVator beeping to make the streamers go) (Joe presses a button the remote to make the balloons and the Croonmaster 5000 go up) (she takes the tablecloth off the ottomann) (Joe and Macy realize that they hide the manual then they dive to hide it under the tablecloth)
(enters the bedroom) Macy. What are you doing here... on the floor... with Joe?
I was... helping him with his math homework.
I didn't know you were any good in math.
(he and Macy stand up) Oh, she's very mathematical. That's why they call her "Mathy Macy."
No one has ever called her "Mathy Macy." And besides, I mean, I was the one that helped you with your math homework.
Yeah, I just thought I'd give a break I know what a handful I can be.
Oh. Well in that case, where are all the books, the calcucators... the crying?
Well, we're doing mental math. It's like jumping jacks for the brain.
Oh. Well, I just brought these pants to go with the friend-a-versary shirts and now I'll go. Don't want to keep you two from adding your figures together. (leaves)
So what are you up to later?
Huh? Oh-- uh-- sorry-- busy-- can't. (Joe tells Macy to meet him)
But I didn't even ask you anything yet.
Um-- hey Stella, have you seen Mr. Newman today? He's wearing that terrible sweater vest again, (Stella gasps) you know, with the cat's face on the front and the cat's butts' on the back. Yeah, he's right over there.
(about to take the phone from the purse) No! Where's my phone? I have to get a picture of him for my wall of shame. (turns around but Macy isn't there) Wait, where? Macy? Macy? (looks for Macy)
You can’t do homework later, cause you’re too busy...doing...homework?
Hey. We need to figure out a way to keep Stella busy before the surprise party.
Right. We have to be sneaky.
(appears) Sneaky? About what? (Joe and Macy gasp)
Sneaky is the name of Macy's friend's cat. She ran away from home.
What? Oh! Right. I better put up these flyers... right after I make them. (leaves)
Hmm, so do you wanna maybe do some homework later? (Joe walks to her)
Later-- I can't. I'm going to be doing homework.
You can’t do homework later, because you’re too busy doing homework?
Oh. Okay. Well, I won't be able to see you later because I'll be too busy not seeing you. How do you like me now? (leaves)
Do you think she's onto us? (arrives again)
So you're still coming over later, right?
Oh of course. To do "homework." (leaves with Joe) (Stella is suspicious)
I know what's going on between you and Joe.
Yes, I do. All this sneaking off together.
We just wanted to surprise you.
Wait, what? Surprise me? What are you talking about?
What do you mean, what am I talking about?
How could I not know you know?
Stella! Wait, what are we talking about?
Of course I like Joe! Oh! Whoa! Wait wait! Stop the bus. There is nothing going on between me and Joe. (ringtone playing) Oh. (Joe calls)
Aren't you going to answer your phone?
No. Because I love my new ringtone. Doesn't it rock? (dances to the music)
(wants Macy's phone) Let me see your phone. Let me see your phone. Let me see your phone-- (phone shatters) (stomps)
(groans) Oh! I think the battery just died. (walks away from Stella) (Stella closes Macy's locker and picks up her bag then walks away mad)
(Drop paper cup so the juice spill) You know that was my last glass of cranberry juice? You could’ve just said, oh I don’t know,--"Drink It"?
What is going on between Macy and Joe? (Kevin and Nick are acting suspicious)
(turns around) And by "Joe", you mean?
You know who I'm talking about. Macy and Joe, they've been spending a ton of time together. And they're acting all secretive and weird.
And by "weird", you mean?
I mean weird! Like mysterious, and annoying. Kind of like two of you are acting right now.
NKNick and Kevin
Whatever do you mean, Stella Malone? (Nick continues to try to open his locker)
Look, if Macy and Joe want to be together, that's fine. (Nick still can't open his locker) I'm fine with that.(Nick steps away when Stella is about to remove Nick's locker door) I just don't like being only one that doesn't know about it. (Nick is shocked) Here's your door.(gives Nick the locker door) (Joe arrives and she walks to him) Joe! Joe. Joe--
Hey, wanna hang out Friday?
I thought we'd hang, chill, do some homework, you and me.
Um-- well... yeah, I'm free. Yeah, that sounds really great.
Cool. Later. (Stella leaves then Kevin and Nick walk to him)
(holding his locker door) Why couldn't you have showed up before she ripped my door off? (shows Joe the locker door)
You owe me a cranberry juice! (he leaves) (Then Nick leaves while he shakes his head)
Okay, I'll get Stella. Hang with her at school for an hour, then get back here for the big friend-a-versary surprise party.
Okay. let's synchronize our JONAS watches.
I don't have a JONAS watch... (puts his arm down and looks at Macy's watch) But according to yours, I'll be here 10 past Nick.
Okay but if you get here a quarter past to Kevin, you've blown it.
Okay. (fist bumps Macy then walks to his pole and slides down) (walks to the front door) (Stella opens the door then enters the JONAS firehouse with a bucket of popcorn and a movie)
(puts his hand on the wall to block Stella from entering) What are you doing here? We were supposed to meet at school.
Yeah, well, I thought it'd be more fun if we hung out here so I brought popcorn and rented a movie. (wants to enter but Joe is still blocking her from entering) Aren't you going to let me in?
Let's go get some ice cream. (holds her but she pushed him back via the movie) I know how you love ice cream.
I never eat ice cream unless a guy breaks up with me which has never happened, so I stand by my first statement. (tries to enter again but Joe prevents her)
Okay, tacos. Broken-hearted or otherwise, everybody loves a good taco. Vamanos.
(puts the movie on the table then lifts the couch cushions up) Where is she? (trying to find Macy)
Macy! (throws a cushion at Joe)
Macy? Why would Macy be here? (Macy slides down Joe's pole and he notices her) Let's dance. (dances with Stella)
Huh? What? Joe, what are you doing? (pushes Joe to the table and turns around to see Macy hanging on the pole) (gasps) I knew it.
(stands up) (stiffly) Macy? What are you doing in my house? (Stella looks at Joe with an angry look on her face)
Thanks for letting me use your pole, Joe. Bye. (climbs up the pole)
Macy! (Stella pushes Joe to the floor and runs after Macy) Get back here, Macy Misa! Look! If you want to date Joe behind my back, at least say it to my face. (tries to climb up the pole but unable to do it) These arms are made for sewing! (leaves)
Stella, wait! (runs upstairs after her)
It's our 15 year friend-a-versary.
Oh no no no. I can't believe it. So when you two are were acting and all dense and "Joe who?"
Just trying to keep a secret.
Oh, you meant our Joe. Oh. Okay.
How about we crank up the coonmaster 5000?
(gasps) The 5000? That's supposed to be like a thousands times more awesome than the 4000.
We know... thanks to Macy. She helped us plan this entire then with all your favorite stuff. (Nick, Kevin and Joe walk away)
Mace, um-- I think I owe you a huge apology--
No no no. You don't need to apologize for anything. I mean, I know you and Joe are-- well, you're not. I mean, you are so I would never. Because you two-- do anything to get in the way of that.
(laughs) Joe and I, we're just really great friends.
Yeah, great friends who have feelings for each other, but don't want to jeopardize their friendship so they hope that someday they will be brave enough to let their true feelings out.
Okay okay, I admit-- I mean, sometimes I do wonder what it would be like if Joe and I were brave enough. (P.A feedback)
(grunts) All right, everybody to get the karaoke started, I'm gonna sing one of Stella's favorite songs. Happy Friend-a-versary, Stella. (cheering) (ballad playing) (Stella smiles)
You know, I think it might be safer if Joe and I are just friends.
Hey. (stops mingling and walks to Joe)
Has anyone ever told that you have a really nice voice?
A few people here and there.
You know, you might even have a future as a singer someday.
Oh! All over my friend-a-versary shirt.
Don't worry, nothing a little seltzer won't get right out.
Just like when we first met. Except you don't have pig-tails and you don't punch me that much anymore.
Do you need me to punch you more often, Joe?
(punches Joe) (blow thuds)
Well, that's what friends are for. (hugs Joe)
(filming the competition) I will be recording this historic showdown. Don't worry, if anything embarrassing happens, it will be going on the internet.
All right, as with all family competitions, we'll go in birth other. So Kevin, you're first. (Nick stands by Joe)
Okay. Don't like weight. Don't like the color. Don't like the circumference.
Kev, would you just go already, please?
Here we go. Ready? Oh, I'm out.
You want to lie down? (pats Kevin) (
(reads a page from a book while holding the video camera) "And then she says, 'I do."
132 to 3. Sorry, dude, I think I just won.
(laughs) This is classic.
I'm not on this ride anymore. (stops filming and closes the video camera then leaves with Tom)
Or, are you? Looks like the little learned his lesson. (whip cracks) Or did he? (Nick chases Kevin)
Okay. We've got guitar-shaped pancakes for Kevin, Crunchy Cat cereal for Nick and peanut butter with eggs for Joe. (kissed Joe) Ah.
Mom, there's a little too much trees in my eggs.
And I like my dish-water a little less soapy.
I love the underwear that came with my pancakes. It's a great source of fiber.
Oh my-- (laughs) I am so sorry. I think I'm doing too many things at once. (walks to Frankie) It's been really hectic since the baby was born the was born.
Mom, I'm eight and a half.
Guys, I think it's time. (tells Nick and Joe)
Mom, dad, you both seem a little stressed. So we got you a present-- an exclusive resort vacation.
We were gonna wait for your anniversary, but you guys look like you could use our present right now.
Plus, we couldn't remember when your anniversary was.
Guys, that is so sweet. But I can't possibly leave you alone. No.
"How many times can you enjoy a sunset balloon ride... over hand-raked prestine beaches while eating exotic delicacies"? Hmm. (takes the brochure and leaves)
Dad, you're gonna love it.
No no no no. I couldn't possibly leave. Who would take care of all this, the band business? All right, I'm the grease that keeps the JONAS machine running smoothly.
Dad, I think we can get by without your grease for a week.
I don't know. I've never left the band business in anybody else's hands before.
They give you massages while you float in the lagoon. Get up.
I'll send you a postcard. (Nick gives Joe and Kevin a high five then Nick is excited)
Bye. Oh thank you so much. (hugs Kevin)
Okay, boys, now remember. no monkey business.
Mom, where would we even get a monkey?
Let alone with a head for business?
(on the phone while holding a business card) Hello, Monkey Land? (monkey squeals) (whispers) I'm gonna have to call you back. (hangs up)
All right, look, I've complied a list here to help you guys define "monkey business." Let's call this daddy's big list of don'ts. (unfolds the list and hands it to Joe but Joe is shocked) (Joe looks at the long list)
Come on, it's time to leave all your cares and worries behind.
Well, just watch the junk food. And don't fry your eyes playing video games.
Tom! Dolphins are waiting patiently to swim with. (exits)
Yes, dear. (leaves) (door closes)
Yea-- (Joe is about to be excited but Nick stops him)
You know, don't let any strange people into the house, okay? (runs back into the house) And stay away from my pinecone collection and pretty much everything that's breakable. And leave the computer on so we can video chat while we're gone.
BMBig Man
(enters) Sorry, chief. Time to have fun. (Tom leaves) This man needs a vacation. Lock the doors quick. (leaves then Kevin closes the doors)
All right, now you're good. (tells Joe)
Yes! (throws the list) Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Come on! Yeah!
Hey, Macy. What are you doing? Besides making the hallway unsafe for others.
I have a JONAS fan club meeting in half an hour. And I have run out of "JONAS-abilia."
JONAS-abilia. Something that the guys have touched or used or worn or anything. I always bring in something new for my JONAS Heads but, I am down to my Kevin sandwich crust which they have already seen three weeks ago. (holds the bag with the sandwich crust)
Well, I can get you some fresh JONAS-abilia... as long as I never have to say that word again.
But you hate all that JONAS fan stuff.
Yeah, I know, but you're a friend in need. And besides, I mean, I make their clothes, I'm part of the fabric of their lives. You get it?
Yes. Would you like a sympathy chuckle or a pity snort?
(feigns laughter, snorts) Could you bring a sock? I mean, they would go crazy over a sock especially if it still smelled like them.
Well, maybe just a shirt?
Mmm-- we're back to gross. (leaves)
Dudes, we have the whole place to ourselves, let’s do something crazy. Like, brush without flossing or floss without brushing. Better yet, run with scissors! No. Too dangerous. Run without scissors!
Whoo-hoo! (runs around the living room back and forth) (hooting, yelling)
Don't worry, he'll tire himself out soon enough. (he and Nick are watching Joe run back and forth)
(stops running back and forth) (sighs) Whoa. I just tired myself out. (sits down and puts his feet on the table)
Careful! That was grandma's. Dad's list specifically says "no knick-knack destruction."
That's why we don't put our feet on the table, Joseph.
I'm in charge and I'm enforcing the rules.
Sounded like someone just said "Kevin's in charge."
Well, I'm the oldest and the tallest and I have the longest sideburns.
Well, as the most responsible and least likely to measure leadership skills by facial hair, maybe I should be in charge.
Yeah, Kevin, Nick's in charge. (puts feet on the table)
Joe, take your feet off the table.
I take that back, Kevin's in charge. (puts feet on the table again)
Joe, take your feet off the table.
You two are tearing this family apart. (leaves)
