NickAll right, mom are about two hours away.
There’s not enough time. There’s not enough time! There's not enough time!
Nick
Joe!
I'm sorry, Nick. But there’s not enough time.
(beeps) There, problem solved.
Nick
You pressed pause.
And see? The plane's not moving anymore. I think I bought us some valuable time.
Nick
Let me explain something to you. The plane still moves in the air even if it doesn't move on the screen, you ding-dong.
Ding-dong?! (scoffs) Well, you're a knucklehead.
Nick
Knucklehead? Really, Kevin? Knucklehead?
Guys, stop before somebody else calls somebody a goofball and we all regret it. Nick closes the computer) (the fan club, Stella and Macy enter the house) (fan club screaming) (Kevin, Joe and Nick are pointing the other way then the fan club looks that way but they find that Kevin, Joe and Nick aren't at the living room) (Kevin, Joe and Nick are hiding at the kitchen)
Nick
That's it. We're dead.
What do you think mom's gonna do first, cry, scream or faint?
Probably all three of them, but we won't be there to see because we'll be dead.
Hey, guys, awesome party. Thanks for the invite. (she and Macy are crawling to the kitchen to hide with Kevin, Joe and Nick)
We're not throwing a party. We're trying to get everyone out of the house.
We've got to get this place cleaned up before mom and dad get home.
Nick
Which is in less than two hours.
And before you go there, pausing the little plane on the computer doesn't help. (Nick shakes his head in agreement)
Wait, all you guys need is this place cleaned up? No problem. (stops hiding) Hey, girls! And Fred... (he waves) (points to the floor) See those potato chips on the floor? They're left over from JONAS. (the fan club are looking at the floor) (fan club screaming) (the fan club runs to the
Nick
They’re fast.
Macy, you are queen of the JONAS heads. Please please please take back the presidency. No offense. I'm just not cut out for this kind of... weird.
Always. (she and Stella rekindle their friendship then they hug) Unless you try to take over my fan club again. (Kevin, Nick and Joe are walking to the other side of the kitchen counter) Then you should probably watch your back.
(holds a plate) Hey, anybody want to scrape off real cheese crust from an actual JONAS plate? (three members of the fan club clean the plate)
Nick
Who wants to vacuum the JONAS living room? You get to keep anything you find in the bag. (whirring) (Fred vacuums)
Okay, uh, who wants to help me scrub the bathroom? All right. (rock music playing) (the fan club members are cleaning the kitchen at a fast pace)
(rings loudly) Mom and dad alert! Places! (Kevin, Joe and Nick are putting back everything in their right place) (Tom opens the door for him and Sandy then they enter the house)
Hey, guys, we're back! (Kevin is playing chess with Frankie, Nick is on his guitar and writing a song while Joe is painting a picture)
The place looks spotless, Joe's not a blond. And it looks like Frankie's about to beat Kevin in speed chess. (walks to Kevin and Frankie)
Game. Well, everything, looks normal to me.
Nick
Just taking care of business, dad. (puts the guitar on the couch)
(squeals happily) I missed you guys so much. (Kevin, Nick, Joe and Frankie are walking to Sandy) (Sandy happily hugs Kevin, Joe, Nick and
We would’ve been home sooner, but the plane made an unexpected stop.
Nick
She doesn’t mean, “In mid-air”.
(tells Tom) See, I told you there was nothing to worry about. (stops hugging then notices the vase) Hey, who moved grandma's vase? (walks to the table) You guys know how fragile this is. (Tom walk to her) (she picks up part of the vase) Grandma's vase. (she hands the top of the vase to Tom) (the bouncer walks by while holding the disco ball) (Frankie pays the bouncer money then leaves)
Did anything happen that we should know about? (Sandy is mad) (he asks Kevin, Joe, Nick and Frankie)
Nick
Why do you ask? (four members of the fan club walks by carrying cleaning supplies and leave)
Are you sure there's nothing you'd like to explain to us?
Nick
Why do you ask?
We missed you. (he, Joe and Nick walk to Tom and Sandy to give them a hug)
We missed you too. (zapping) (Kevin, Joe, Nick, Frankie, Sandy and Tom are noticing the electrocuted fridge) (buzzes)
KNKevin and Nick
Joe was in charge! (Joe looks at Kevin and Nick)
We definitely needed this.
And you know what? For the first time, I'm not worried about the boys at all. (Frankie holds a leaf and lets it give Sandy a breeze)
(chuckles) (Joe walks to Sandy and Tom to give beverages to them) Oh, thank you. (takes a beverage from the tray)
(also takes a beverage from the tray) Thank you. Mm. (drinks)
This is delicious. (drinks)
(offers) Braid your hair, ma'am?
Oh, but you know what? A foot massage would be nice. What do you think, hon?
Ooh... Yeah. (agrees) (Kevin, Joe, Nick and Frankie stop what they're doing and four of them kneel down then Joe and Frankie massage sunscreen on Sandy's feet while Kevin and Nick massage sunscreen on Tom's feet)
Nick
Why couldn't you just ground us like normal parents? (Kevin shakes his head) (Tom and Sandy toast each other then they drink)
Nick
Dad, we’ve got school. How many more letters are there gonna be?
I was going to spell "Coler." As in Robert Lincoln Coler.
The most respected music critic in the business.
(sits) I hate that guy. He's so pedantic, pompous, pretentious.
Nick
It looks like someone's been reading their word-of-the-day calendar.
Yeah, well, he loved your last album.
(stands up and walks to Kevin) That Coler? He's so cool. Some would say sagacious.
Kevin Watch you mouth.
It means "shrewd." May 23rd.
Kevin I thought it was impossible to get an interview with that guy.
Yeah, it is. It is, which is why it's so unbelievably awesome I got us an interview!
Kevin No way.
(laughs) Let's celebrate. Five-second dance party. Go. (dance music playing) And we're dancing. Let's dance it.
Mom, dad's dancing again! (tells Sandy)
Come on, you guys. (Kevin, Nick and Joe are going downstairs) All right, we'll do more dancing later. Robert Coler.
Nick
(enters then asks Joe) What's this? (points to Joe's award)
Oh, nothing. Just my "Hottie of the Year" award. I've been meaning to hang this thing up for weeks. (continues to wipe his award) (he winks)
Nick
And you just decided to put it up right now before the interview?
What are these? (asks Nick about his trophies)
Nick
(walks to the awards) Oh, these old things? Just a couple of my songwriting awards. No biggie. (Joe turns) Well, this one a biggie. (bends down and picks up his big award) (grunts) (holds the big award) I got it in first grade-- "Best Melody in an Original Alphabet Song." (doorbell rings)
That must be Stella and Macy. (Nick kisses his big award) I'll get it. (Joe slides down his pole to go downstairs then he walks to open the door)
(sighs) Nick, I cannot believe how self-centered you guys are being.How about we show a little modesty? (unbuttons his vest and shows Nick the award as a necklace) What? I've been getting into hip-hop fashion.
Nick
And you just decided to turn your golden shredder award into a necklace?
Word to your mother... who also happens to be my mother. (walks away from Nick) (Nick shakes his head)
Well, thank you, gentlemen. (turns around and talks to Kevin, Joe and Nick) I found you guys quite perspicacious. (shakes Kevin's hand)
(tells Nick and Kevin) That means "insightful." Or was it "to sweat like a cow?" (Robert chuckles and leaves then Joe closes the door) (Stella and Macy are downstairs)
Nick
Great job guys.
So, I thought that went really great. What are we doing now?
Excellent question, Stella. What are we doing on this very special evening?
I don't know about you guys. But showing my better side all day has got me exhausted. I'm going to bed. Good night, guys. (walks upstairs)
Nick
Yeah, I'm wiped. Have a good night, guys. See you soon. (walks upstairs)
Yeah, after even three hours, I'm tired of talking about myself. Oh, wait, I almost forgot. Don't forget your purse. (walks upstairs)
They- they forgot my birthday.
I can’t believe they did that. I’m gonna go yell at them.
No, I don't want you to go yell at them.
Good, 'cause, I could never yell at them. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?
Happy birthday, dear Stella. Happy birthday to you.
Bye. (leaves) (door opens, closes)
Bye. (walks to the table to take her purse) (electricity crackles) (notices the black out) What? (Tom is walking the stairs with a candle) I knew it.
Oh! Hey, Stella. I didn't know you were still here. So, I blew a fuse plugging in my hot comb. (gives Stella the candle) (flashlight clicks) I'll get this fix in a jiff. (walks away and Stella turns around then Tom leaves) (door closes)
Happy... birthday to me. (blows the candle) (door opens) (thudding) Ow! Ouch! (door closes) (the power is on) (Stella opens the door and she has a jacket on her head then she removes it from her head) (leaves)
(puts her bag on her shoulder) What's-- what's going on? (Joe and Kevin aren't hiding)
Nick
(stops hiding) We can't believe we forgot your birthday.
BMBig Man
Hold up. Is that what this is about? You forgot Stella's birthday? You're on your own. (walks away annoyed) (thuds) (Nick picks up his bag)
Guys, it's fine. It's okay. Look, I admit I was a little mad at you last night, but then I started thinking about it and your lives are so busy. I can understand forgetting little things.
You're not a little thing. You're Stella.
How about we throw you a surprise party at the zoo!? Oops, uh, you know what? We’re gonna do that next year. (Nick shakes his head) I’m just gonna stop talking now.
Or we can celebrate the way we did when we were little kids-- drink hot cocoa and play board games in our pajamas.
How do you always know exactly what I want? Okay, I'm giving you guys one more chance. I know how busy you are. Sometimes you have to stop being rockstars.
Okay, pajama party it is.
Oh, and I'll take a rain check on the zoo...Unless it's the London zoo. I mean, you are rockstars. (Stella walks towards Kevin, Joe and Nick then they walk away from the atrium while Kevin and Stella put their arms on each other)
Thank you very much. (stands up) (door opens) (Nick, Joe and Kevin enter the house after school) Hey, Give me a C!
Nick
"Coler." (takes off his bag and sets it down)
What? Oh, yeah. Anyway, I just talked to him.
Did he say anything about my hottie award?
No. No no, but he was so happy with the interview that he's make you guys the cover story.
Nick
Awesome.
So nothing about the hottie award?
He's gonna be here in an hour.
He can't come in an hour. Stella's coming over to celebrate her birthday.
Well, you can't bail on Coler. The last band to cancel an interview with this guy was the Happy Teens.
JKJoe, Kevin and Nick
Who?
Exactly. All right, now I know Stella will be disappointed, but she'll understand. Do you want me to talk to her? I can be gentle but firm.
No no no, you know what? We'll talk to her. She's our friend.
Thank goodness. That girl scares me. (leaves)
Guys we can't cancel on Stella and we can't cancel on Coler. There's no way out.
It's the Happy Teens all over again.
Nick
I have an idea. What if we do the interview with Coler upstairs and Stella's party downstairs?
But won't that make Stella mad? You know taking time away from her birthday party for some rock star interview?
Plus, Coler wouldn't think we're taking him seriously.
Nick
No, not if they don't know about each other.
Nick
Look, we go back and forth-- upstairs, downstairs. We've got poles how hard could it be?
Nick
It's like we'll be in two places at once.
Nick
No, I'm done.
Nick
Let's do it. (walks upstairs with Joe and Kevin)
Today I want to delve into your personal lives a little bit, all right? I want to get into the essence of your essence. Hmm? (doorbell rings)
(stands up) Our Chinese food is here. I'll be right back. (walks away then slides down the pole and runs to the door to open it) (Macy is knocking then she and Stella enters the house with a cooler and a bag of things) Oh, Macy, Stella. Come on in. (Stella gives him the bag)
Hey. We are all dressed for the pajama party. (she and Macy are taking off their robes) Whoo! (Joe closes the door then he walks to the table to put the bag down) Where are your pajamas?
They're upstairs. I was ironing them.
I think Kevin just touched the iron. I'll be right back! (runs upstairs while Macy and Stella put their robes on the chairs)
Hot! Hot! (holding his pant leg)
arrives then asks Kevin) What did I miss? (sits down)
Oh, just having some tea. (then sits down and Robert's assistant walks away)
(walks to the ottoman then sits) I was just asking your brothers how, with all the success and commitments. You find time, you know, for friends and school.
How about I answer that and you run downstairs?
Nick
Right.
Nick
Right.
Your pajamas? (Nick takes his pajamas and leaves)
(switches chairs) Um, was the song that we wrote after "My Pants." "Your Pajamas."
We like to write about what we know.
Nick
(walks to the table) All right, let's get this party started. (Stella carries a tray with hot chocolate)
Oh my gosh. I can't believe that you still have this dopey doctor game. (puts the tray on the table) (Nick takes a cup of hot chocolate and drinks it) I mean, with the fake stethscope and the fake casts and everything. (Nick puts his cup of hot chocolate on the table)
Nick
I feel fake sick already.
Well, it means a lot that to me you guys are doing this. I mean, with all your fame and success that you still have time for me.
Nick
Stella, you know how we feel about you. And tonight is all about Stella and only Stella. A large order of Stella with Stella on the side.
Nick
Gotta run. (runs back upstairs while taking off his pajamas as he goes runs back to the bedroom to sit on his chair again)
(sits next to Robert Lincoln Coler and tells him a story) And ever since then I've been a boxer brief man. I hope that answered your question.
Well, actually my question was about your favorite subject in school... um, and I was asking him.
Hey, guys, ready for Dopey Doctor?
I'm sure it's nothing. You know what? Let me just go che-- I'll be right back. (takes Nick's pajamas and leaves go to downstairs while wearing them as he buttons it) Hey, guys!
Hey, aren't those Nick's pajamas?
Doing the interview. What interview? What am I talking about?
Nick
Oh! Hot! Hot! Ah! Oh!
Um, I should go. Oh, look-- ice! (holds the ice bucket and runs with it upstairs) (Macy and Stella notices something is up)
Nick
(tries to wipe the hot beverage off his pants while spinning around) Oh! Oh! Ah.
Hi, guys. (offers Nick) Ice? (Nick puts his hand into the ice bucket)
You guys say that you are living the dream. Okay, with all of your success. How do you, as my friend Beyonce likes to say, keep it real?
Nick
Well, keeping it real is the most important thing for us.
Friends and family come first.
They always have and they always will.
(crying) Well, you could have fooled me, but I guess you did for a little while. (Kevin, Joe and Nick see Stella then they stand up) (she is upset)
(stands up) Isn't that your stylist, Stella Malone?
Nick
Yeah.
And didn't you tell me yesterday that she was your best friend?
Yesterday she was. (he, Nick and Kevin are walking away sadly)
(writes) Heavy. Very heavy.
Stella, please forgive us.
We know we messed up and we are so sorry.
Look. (puts her bag on her shoulder and stands up) I understand that you guys are busy-- I do and I can deal with that-- but trying to trick me? How could you ever think that was okay? (Joe combs his hair) This was the worst birthday of my life... two days in a row. (walks away)
Nick
We're the worst best friends ever. (he, Kevin and Joe walk away)
Stella, there you are. I have the Coler interview with JONAS.
I'm really not interested. (starts to walk away)
(reads) "Friendship is a major chord in the life of JONAS. They couldn't stop talking about their stylist and best friend, Stella Malone." (Stella stops walking away)
(turns around and walks back to Macy) Okay, give me that. (takes Macy's cellphone) "Said Joe, we feel blessed to have Stella in our lives. She's my inspiration." Oh.(Joe, Nick and Kevin enter the hallway to walk to Stella and Macy) (turns around while hiding Macy's phone)
Stella, I know you probably never wanna see us again...
Nick
Which would be kinda hard, since we go to school together and you work with us...
Unless you want to make yourself some really fantastic blindfolds.
We just want you to know that we're really really really really really sorry.
Really really really really really sorry.
I don't know. It seems like a pretty crummy way to treat your inspiration.
"Inspiration"? Wait a minute. You read the article.
Nick
How long were you going to make us sweat?
I cleared my afternoon. (chuckles) Guys, what you said in the Coler interview was the best birthday present I could've ever asked for.
Nick
So we're good?
Yeah. Thank you. (hugs Joe, Kevin and Nick)
Oh. Guys. (also hugs Joe, Kevin and Nick) (grunts)
Come on, five-second dance party! (dance music playing) (he dances) Who’s in it? (music stops) I’m turning into my father. (walks away)
30 seconds to save the patient, doctor.
Nick
Scalpel.
Nick
This is not a scalpel. This is a cake fork.
Nick
I'm going in.
Get her out of here. She's not sterile.
Nick
The patient has recovered. Nice work, dopey doctor. "Move ahead three spaces."
Nick
(sighs)
(sighs) (sits down) I remember this game being a lot more fun.
Nick
Yeah, me too.
Oh, hello there. I didn't see you come in. I was just reading a story. Or should I say "gory"? Would you like to hear it? Of course you would! Ha ha ha ha! So now I bring you the tale of the haunted firehouse. (Nick and Joe walk to Kevin at their bedroom)
Nick
Who are you talking to?
If this was your jacket, could I do this? (rips)
Did I just hear Joe's jacket rip?
Ahh! (he, Nick and Joe are running to their poles to slide down) (Joe and Nick slide down but Kevin holds onto his pole before his hands are magically not on the pole) Ooh! Enjoy the show.(thumps) Ow!
Jonas · 237 quotes
