[the next day, Lila and Hugh are both watching wrestling on the new HDTV while Johnny, Dukey, Susan and Mary are outside grounded]
Well, the bad news is mom and dad kept the $10,000.
But the good news is they bought a new HDTV with it.
JJohnny
Which I can't watch for a month 'cause I'm grounded from TV.
SMSusan and Mary
And us from the lab.
Right, so let's play some ball! [he throws the baseball to Johnny which causes him to break the new HDTV] That was the TV.
JJohnny
[counting by his fingers] 3, 2, 1.
LHLila and Hugh
[offscreen; angrily] JOHNNY!!!
[it can be revealed that Johnny, Dukey, and possibly Susan and Mary, might get grounded even more to find out who was breaking the new HDTV as the episode ends]
[shows up and takes the game away from the boys] Johnny, THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!
JJohnny
But, dad, I'm training to be a Tiny-Mon master, so I can snag more Tiny'Mons so I can catch the Legendary Screechereen, which may or may not exist.
Johnny, there are only 2 things in this world I don't understand and that's woman and Tiny'Mon. [Dukey yawns] And you need to stop playing or you'll get lost inside your own Tiny'Mon world and NEVER COME OUT! [he leaves with Johnny and Dukey's game]
We're going to the lab aren't we?
[Babies start crying, with stink lines coming from the kitchen]
GGil
Johnny! The babies--they smell really, really bad, kind of like anal beads!
JJohnny
And that's why you need to change...their diapers!
[Johnny pulls out a clean diaper and gives it to Gil.]
[Gil faints from the smell]
[Babies are on the table, crying, with stink lines coming from their diapers]
JJohnny
(to Dukey) You gotta change them.
[Mr. Black and Mr. White have caught Johnny and Dukey and are escorting them home.]
WMr. White
Okay, we want answers. Why did you resist a police officer?
JJohnny
Why are you police officers?
BMr. Black
I blew up Malaysia.
[A long while after Hugh and Johnny swap brains.]
JJohnny
I can't take it. DAD WINS! I just want my horrible childhood back!
And I want my awful life back!
JJohnny
I'm so sorry, Dad! And, I love you, man.
I love you too, son. And Bumper's coming here to kick your butt. I mean my butt. I mean HELP!
[When Johnny (in Hugh's body) is about to shoot Bumper with a marshmallow shooter loaded with sprouts.]
JJohnny
You leave me... ahem... [DING X39!!!!]
Are those Brussels sprouts?
JJohnny
Boiled. No butter, no salt.
[When Johnny (in Hugh's body) shoots Bumper with a marshmallow shooter loaded with sprouts. Bumper swallows the Brussels sprouts.]
Ah! I give up, Test with a cold! You win! YOU WIN!!! [Runs away, crying]
HHugh (in Johnny's body)
[Notices that Lila is Home due to car skidding noises] And now, it's about to get worse.
Why is the house smoking with burned cupcakes all over the lawn?! [Camera zooms out showing the house is smoking with burned cupcakes all over the lawn.] And why did I get a call from the Principal saying: "Johnny cuts school"!?
JJohnny (in Hugh's body)
Yep, we're dead.
JJohnny (in Hugh's body)
(tries to imitate Hugh's voice) Uh, uh, I mean, I have a cold.
Someone tell me what's going on!
JJohnny (in Hugh's body)
We switched places to find out who had a tougher life. And they're both pretty tough! And frankly, Mom, you should take advantage of Dad.
You switched their BODIES?!
No! We switched their brains.
Oh. WELL, SWITCH THEM BACK!
JHJohnny & Hugh
I'm back to normal!!
But I'm still mad at all of you! I worked hard all day and all week, and I don't want to come home to a destroyed house. And now, (Yelling) I HAVE TO MAKE THE CUPCAKES!!!!!
LLila (in Susan's body)
[Running] AAAAHHH! GET AWAY, EUGENE, I'M NOT INTO YOU!!!
But I love you, Susan Test, who clearly has a cold!
Well, Your mom's getting ahead of Eugene pretty good. I wonder how Susan's baking's going? [Everyone but Dukey put on their glasses]
SSusan (in Lila's body)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
JJohnny
Ha! It really is like the 4th of July!
JJohnny
I need a new bike.
What happened to your old bike?
JJohnny
First, we test to jump with these look-like dummies, then calculate the speed and trajectory will need to make the jump for real!
JJohnny
Uh... it got stolen?
JJohnny
(Dramatic) Why, dad, why did it have to get stolen?
I'll get you a new bike for your birthday. (Johnny looks overjoyed) Which is seven months away.
JJohnny
(Angrily flails his arms) YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!
I do love you, son, and I will always love and accept you for who you are your entire life.
JJohnny
I don't know what that means.
It means you're not getting a new bike until your birthday.
SSissy
Hi, Mr. Test, would you like to buy some ladybird scout cookies?
No, because I'm... I believe the lady bird scouts have lost their way and have become nothing but a door to door cookie company using free labor, and although I like you sissy, I can no longer buy these cookies. (Walks away)
SSissy
Your dad is weird.
JJohnny
Yeah, I know. (Johnny & Sissy look at each other) You look dumb.
SSissy
Do you want to buy some cookies, Test?
JJohnny
Oh wow, ladybird scout cookies, they look so good and... No. (Dukey hits Johnny) Ow!
JJohnny
I mean, give me a box of Wow! Wow! Chocolate Chunkies. (Dukey hits Johnny then shakes his head "no") Ow, Coconut Dribblers?
JJohnny
Lemon Buckwalt? (Dukey groans while shaking his head "no" yet again. Johnny takes the blue box of cookies) Butter Scotch Blah Blas?
SSissy
Yes! Only 999 boxes to go.
SSissy
When you sell lady bird scout cookies, (Sissy opens a blue folder attached on her clipboard and it reveals prizes depending on the boxes of cookies sold) you can win prizes like backpacks, pen sets, and if you sell a thousand boxes, you get new bike.
Sit. (Wentworth sits down) Good boy. (Gives Wentworth steak. Wentworth eats the steak) What do you want this time, little brother? A lerinx transplant so you can sing like a rockstar?
Or a DNA adjustment that will make your tongue taste like bubble gum?
JJohnny
No, we need your old ladybird scout uniforms.
JJohnny
Now all we have to do is sell 1,000 boxes of this crud, and zoom, we're in brand new bike city!
And here comes our first customer.
And with all those side effects swimming around in that monster, there's no telling what that thing will do!
[furious] There's plenty of telling what that thing will do! It will do what all your experiments do - destroy the town! Because you are all INSANE!!!
JSJohnny, Susan, and Mary
[in unison] No, we're adventurous. There's a huge difference.
PPrincipal
Johnny, here's what I'm thinking...
JJohnny
Please, don't give me a detention! My Dad'll send me to military school! That means uniforms! Atomic wedgies!... Awkward pauses!
PPrincipal
I like you, Johnny.
JJohnny
So I'm free to go?
PPrincipal
No. But I'm gonna cut you a deal. If you perform 99 good deeds to make up for your 99 bad deeds, I'll forget every one of your detentions and erase them from your permanent record.
JJohnny
Couldn't I just write something on the chalkboard a zillion time like 'I promise not to blabeddy, blah, blah, blah.' Huh? (smiles hopefully, but the principal shakes his head.) 99 good deeds it is!
PPrincipal
And no cheating. Remember, I'm the principal. I know everything!
[Johnny tries to help an old lady cross the road. He takes her arm.]
JJohnny
Hello, Ma'am. May I assist you?
OOld Lady
Oh, I get it. I'm an old lady. Well, I'm also independent, lonely, but independent. BACK OFF!
JJohnny
Yeah? You forgot CRAZY!
Johnny Test · 206 quotes
