TV show quotes
[angrily] Why wasn't Fink-Nottle at dinner?
Perhaps he wasn't hungry.
I'm looking for him.
Oh. Right. Well uh...any message if he should turn up?
Tell him I'm going to break his neck!
Break his neck. Right. And, uh, if he should ask why?
He knows why! Because he's a butterfly who toys with women's hearts and throws them aside like soiled gloves.
Do butterflies do that?
Are you trying to be funny?
No, no, no.
Good.
Spode qua menace — if "qua" is the word I'm after — is a thing of the past.
[to Spode] I would like to know why the devil you keep coming into my private apartment and then taking up space which I require for other purposes.
[speaking to to a small crowd] At birth, every citizen, as a right, will be issued with a British bicycle and an honest, British-made umbrella. Thus assured of a mobile workforce adequately protected against the elements, this great country can go forward once more to glory!
Hurray!
[to Jeeves] I say. That's a jolly good idea, Jeeves.
Citizens of Totleigh-in-the-Wold, I say to you that nothing stands between us and our victory, except defeat! Tomorrow is a new day! The future lies ahead!
D'you know, I never thought of that.
Ah, Jeeves. Glad to see you here. You're just the sort of person we need in the movement — the working masses. [Jeeves stiffens]
[coldly] I hesitate to contradict you, Mr. Spode, but the "working masses" and I have barely a nodding acquaintanceship. Good afternoon.
Oh, ha jolly ha.
Oh, ha jolly ha to you, young Stiffy, with knobs on!
And ha jolly ha to you, with double knobs on!
Jeeves, you really are the specific dream rabbit.
She'll make something of you, perhaps. I'm sure there are many good qualities underneath that, uh...rough exterior.
Uh, well, no, actually.
[banging at Gussie's door] Come out, you putrid little earthworm! [...] I'm going to tear your head from off your shoulders!
Ah! What ho, Sir Watkyn?
Kindly do not address me in that familiar way, Wooster. I happen to know that, once again, you yield to the awful temptation to steal a policeman's helmet!
Oh, rot!
Fink-Nottle! I'm going to ram that notebook of yours down your throat!
[speaking of Spode] You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing.
No, sir.
One or the other, not both.
Precisely, sir.
Are these the actions of rational human beings, Jeeves?
It's difficult to say, sir.
I mean, is it for this that we dragged ourselves from the primeval ooze, to stir up the emotions of civil, honest citizens to the point of frenzy and then go around playing tennis and giggling?
It's an interesting question, sir.
Have you ever seen a floral clock, Jeeves?
I have not had that pleasure, sir.
No, well, don't. Have nothing whatever to do with floral clocks. If a friend says, "Just one more floral clock can't do you any harm," be firm.
I shall do as you recommend, sir.
Did you have a pleasant afternoon, sir?
You have a cruel streak, Jeeves. I hadn't realized it before. What blighter was it that invented the bicycle?
The first truly rideable machine was made by a Mr. Kirkpatrick Macmillan of Dumfriesshire in Scotland in, erm, 1839, I believe, sir.
Oh. Too late to do anything about it now, I suppose.
I fear so, sir.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jeeves and Wooster pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
