JAG Season 2 quotes

Objection. Your honor, the prosecution has just gone from speculation to fantasy.

If you have some evidence I should know about...

You'll eventually get it, and then you can plea bargain.

In your dreams, Commander.

Oh, you don't want to be in my dreams, Major.

Red light, Commander.

Red light? There was nothing sexual in what I said, and if you think there was, then maybe, I should give you the red light.

Commander, you gave it your best and came up short. When you grasp for straws like that letter, maybe its time to punch out.

Punching out is the last thing a pilot ever wants to do. People think you get in trouble, pull the magic handle, and float safely to the ground? Every time you punch out you end up an inch shorter.

No problem, Commander, you've got a few inches to spare.

Takes a big man to admit he's wrong, Commander.

Well, I don't know about being a big man. But I was wrong.

You're damn right you were wrong. My son died for his country. You tried to take that away from me.

He didn't die for his country, Chief. He died for you.

(chuckles) What's that supposed to mean?

Your son was HIV positive.

What?

And he couldn't admit that to you. Or that he was a homosexual. So rather than face you, he stood up into Chief Connors' line of fire.

(disbelieving look)

Congratulations on your son's Navy cross, Chief.

You earned it.

Cute does not work on me, Harm.

I wasn't being cute. I was being funny.

Yeah, like the way you fired that H&K in court?

Well, I thought it was pretty funny when you ducked under the table.

I'm a Marine, Harm. Marines don't duck.

What do Marines do?

They take cover, but they never duck.

[After entering] Sir, Lieutenant Elizabeth Hawkes, sir. CAG asked me to give you these.

I'm Major MacKenzie JAG Corps.

Everyone aboard knows who your are ma'am. [They both shake hands]

I'm interested why you two took part in Crossing the Line ceremony.

Same thing all the women were, important to be one of the guys.

Were you improperly touched or sexually harassed?

Not so far as noticed.

Do you feel you were singled out because of your sex?

No Sir.

Even when you were forced to danced with Lieutenant Issacs?

The only problem was we both wanted to lead. They treated everyone pretty bad.

Let me ask you a hypothetical question. What would you have done if someone had grabbed you?

A woman who can't handle some grab-ass jerk doesn't belong in the Navy.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Skates, ma'am, that's what they all call me.

Skates?

Grew up on wheels. Permission to speak freely ma'am, sir? [pause] For a woman to be 'one of the guys', sometimes she has to be willing to give up somethings of herself. You know, be less of a woman. Sometimes it sucks.

So the question is, why should she have to be 'one of the guys'?

You look nice. Uh, I'm sorry, I did not mean that.

Ens. Harriet Sims

So you don't think I look nice?

Well, I just don't know if it was appropriate to say. I outrank you, and I may have inadvertently uttered a yellow-light remark.

Ens. Harriet Sims

You have an ulterior motive, Lieutenant?

No! I don't think I do.

Ens. Harriet Sims

Then I'll choose to believe you were sincere.

You grounded Lieutenant Isaacs after a substandard landing. The LSO log indicates: OSCB, EGAR, DNKH.

That's correct.

Can you tell me what those initials stand for, sir?

OSCB, Over Shot Came Back. EGAR, Eased Gun At Ramp.

What about, uh... DNKH?

Well, that's the technical one, Major. Damn Near Killed Herself.

(re: carrier aviation) You miss it?

Sometimes. Never at night.

Ens. Harriet Sims

I want you to kiss me.

Green light?

(watching from a distance) I just had a scary thought.

Their children?

I though you said this Barnes was a ghost.

Well, Major, I guess that makes you two ghostbusters.

This clientele consists solely of self-declared degenerates.

Any IRA?

No. Just your regular thieving bastards. We're not political.

No, I'm coming with you.

I'm afraid I can't have that.

(re: Commander Rabb) You're taking him.

He's insurance. I don't look at you in the same way. No offense.

He's my son, too, Lorcan.

Aye, and he'll need a parent left to raise him. (kisses her) God be with ye, my love.

I'll get him back, Lieutenant.

Bring them both back, sir.

Is all of it? Necessary? The violence?

Only legitimate targets.

Still, there are always alternatives to killing.

Well, you can afford such civility, can't ye? You have your liberty. Spilt a fair share of British blood for it, too, if I recall.

It was a different time, different place.

Different war. And what the hell do you think this is?

So you abducted him, coerced him into drinking alcohol, and then forced him into the trunk of a car.

Yes, sir.

At any point did you try to revive him?

Yes ma'am, we tried to get him on his feet and walking, but he had stopped breathing. Malcolm - Midshipman Holmes - even tried mouth-to-mouth resecitatation.

Can I see you outside a moment, Major? You too, Lieutenant.

You think this funny?

No, sir.

Come on, Harm, you've got to admit…

Bill is dead, Mac! They killed him!

Harm, he's a goat. They gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a goat!