JAG quotes

You ok?

Every time I think I've put the pieces of my life together, someone comes along and jumbles them back up. Humph. Everyone who has ever meant anything to me is leaving my life.

It will be okay, Mac. You'll get to see Chloe again. One day you'll have kids of your own.

Yeah, not at this rate. My biological clock is going off and I keep hitting the snooze button. Ha.

Tell you what - 5 years from this moment, if neither of us is in a relationship, we’ll go halves on a kid.

You and me have a baby together?

Yeah. With your looks and my brains, he’ll be perfect.

And what if she has your looks and my brains?

That could work too. So what do you say? Deal?

Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.

I haven’t yet. (They shake hands.)

Commander Rabb, it's Skates, sir.

Commander Rabb was there?

Apparently he was close by. He was not involved in the action.

Well, that'd be a first!

So how was your trip?(sees her rank) Lieutenant colonel? (salutes) Ma'am.

Well, this just happened. I was gonna tell you.

My heartiest congratulations, ma'am.

Thank you, commander. At ease. Can we get to work now? I could really use your help on this investigation. You know, the Russians are screaming bloody murder. The Pentagon doesn't know whether to go to war or dig a hole in the sand.

Well, I'm no longer with the JAG Corps, ma'am. I'm an aviator.

Oh, so you're not one of us, you're one of them.

I will, of course, obey any lawful orders that you give me, ma'am.

I will try to keep them all lawful, then.

Aye, aye, ma'am.

Harm, if I can survive your crazy stunts, I can survive *anything*!

Brumby

If you lose, Harm, you'll always be known as the man who let the SECNAV's son go to prison.

Well, you'll be the guy who put him there, Brumby.

So, how does it feel? Being back?

Like I left yesterday, and I've been gone a hundred years.

Yeah, I know the feeling. Except, you know, when I came back, I was condemned to writing mindless motions for a month.

Rabb

[speaking to Mac] No man is interested in being friends with a woman who looks like you.

What exactly is your connection with Clark Palmer?

He's kidnapped me, sir. He's tried to kill me. He tried to trick me into shooting my former girlfriend. He's a sociopath who's made me his hobby, colonel.

Admiral, about the complaint...

I’ll just file it here with all the others.

You smoke, commander?

No, sir, I gave it up.

What for? A woman?

I didn't like being addicted, captain.

Do you remember what it was like, Harm? Trying to figure out who you are and where you fit in, or did that just come easy to you?

You know, sometimes I think I missed out on being a kid. Having a father that was MIA, I was always trying to be the man of the house, you know? I guess I should have been at a disco, or...

Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve seen you dance.

Why do you keep sending me reminder memos?

Excuse me, sir?

And why are they in large type?

Well, sir, you have, on occasion—

-- Misplaced my reading glasses.

It's just in case, sir.

You know, colonel, I've always respected your objectivity.

Thank you, sir.

Am I slowing down?

Sir, as we age, our physical skills diminish.

Wrong answer.

But our hearts grow stronger.

New Age mumbo jumbo. Well, hell, that's what I tell myself anyway. I'm glad you agree. Thanks.

Don't mention it, sir.

I won't. And incidentally, if you do, to anyone, I'll be on your 6 faster than a surface-to-air missile.

Understood, sir.

Mic Brumby

Sorry about the dirt, mate, I was in the outback. I’ll give her a wash up on the weekend.

Are we going on a safari, commander?

Mic

Down here we call it going bush. I do it on the weekends. 'Roo-bar on the front, snorkel for crossing streams. I got a radio...

To call for help when you get lost?

Mic

Care to give her a try, commander?

Yeah.

Mic

Oh, we drive on the left. Might be a bit much for you, especially after the long flight.

I slept most of the way. (He takes the keys, and opens the passenger side door.)

Mic

Wheel’s on the other side, mate.

I know that. I’m opening the door for you.

Mic

Better fasten your seatbelt, Bud. Driving on the left side takes a bit of getting used to.

Seaman

Begging your pardon, sir, but in Australia, we drive on the left hand side of the road.

Why didn’t you tell me?

Seaman

ID please.

Seaman

Thank you, sir.

Mic

Thanks, leader.

Mic

Left, Harm, left.