LCDR Mic Brumby quotes from JAG

Brumby

If you lose, Harm, you'll always be known as the man who let the SECNAV's son go to prison.

Well, you'll be the guy who put him there, Brumby.

Mic Brumby

Sorry about the dirt, mate, I was in the outback. I’ll give her a wash up on the weekend.

Are we going on a safari, commander?

Mic

Down here we call it going bush. I do it on the weekends. 'Roo-bar on the front, snorkel for crossing streams. I got a radio...

To call for help when you get lost?

Mic

Care to give her a try, commander?

Yeah.

Mic

Oh, we drive on the left. Might be a bit much for you, especially after the long flight.

I slept most of the way. (He takes the keys, and opens the passenger side door.)

Mic

Wheel’s on the other side, mate.

I know that. I’m opening the door for you.

Mic

Better fasten your seatbelt, Bud. Driving on the left side takes a bit of getting used to.

Seaman

Begging your pardon, sir, but in Australia, we drive on the left hand side of the road.

Why didn’t you tell me?

Seaman

ID please.

Seaman

Thank you, sir.

Mic

Thanks, leader.

Mic

Left, Harm, left.

Mic

That’s my spot up ahead, between those two cars, mate. Better let me park it.

Bud

I think that would probably be a good idea, sir.

I’ll give it a try. (He proceeds to park the car perfectly. He gets out.) My stepfather had a cottage in the Bahamas, that’s where I learned to drive. (He throws to keys to Mic and walks away.)

Bud

Sir, don’t they drive on the left hand side of the road in the Bahamas?

Mic

Bloody hell.

Why didn’t somebody from his ship identify the body?

Mic

Harbour sharks had a feed on him.

Bud

There are sharks in the harbour?

Mic

It’s Australia, mate. There’s sharks in the bathtub.

You’re worried or jealous?

Mic

I don’t get jealous.

Yeah, neither do I.

Mic

Oh, beauty. Then I can keep my mistress.

Can I keep mine?

Mic

I wrote People magazine, I called People magazine. They won’t issue a retraction.

They wouldn’t need to issue a retraction if you hadn’t talked to them in the first place.

Mic

I didn’t talk to them. I said I wouldn’t violate your privacy.

You said you wouldn’t violate your fiancée’s privacy.

Mic

Sarah, you’re wearing my ring. We’re practically living together.

Admiral. Commander. Lieutenant. (To Mic.) Goodbye. (Goes into her office and slams the door.)

She’s probably had enough coffee.

Mic

Yes, sir.

Mic

If I should falter during the ceremony...

Bud

Just do what you did at your bachelor party.

Mic

What was that?

Bud

You ripped off your shirt and you started singing the Australian national anthem to the waitress.

Mic

Was it effective?

Bud

Yeah. We got a free plate of appetizers.