Blaine DeBeers quotes from IZombie

Blaine DeBeers

Why would I want to help? I'm human. I got a thriving business. I just learned I've been pre-approved for a Best Buy card. I've gone legit. Put my criminal ways behind me.

Liv Moore

We're not sure if your cure is permanent. The first batch killed the test rat inside of two days.

Blaine DeBeers

And which batch did you shoot me up with?

Liv Moore

[Liv smiles] The second.

Blaine DeBeers

[singing the Cure] I don't care if Monday's blue / Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too / Thursday I don't care about you / It's Friday I'm in love

Ravi Chakrabarti

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Blaine DeBeers

Come on. The Cure? I don't know why I bother.

Ravi Chakrabarti

The cure won't be ready for a while, yet.

Son.

Blaine DeBeers

Dad. I'd hope your first visit here would be more... horizontal.

I'm afraid I've got some bad news.

Blaine DeBeers

[Angus shoots Chief in the head] Ahh.

You work for me now.

Blaine DeBeers

[Blaine talks to Chief's body on the ground] Chief, you had one job.

You're gonna need a bigger box for your employee here.

Blaine DeBeers

We usually just chop off the feet. Nobody looks down there.

Blaine DeBeers

Not even interested in how I was cured, huh?

Why would I be? Immortality suits me.

Blaine DeBeers

Are you ever happy you're a zombie?

Liv Moore

You should know that's a stupid question.

Blaine DeBeers

Is it? Before I became a zombie, I was wasting my life. Human Blaine was a nobody. An underachiever. He was a, he was a joke. Zombie Blaine, though... Zombie Blaine was the man.

Liv Moore

He was a murderer.

Blaine DeBeers

But he was exceptional.

Blaine DeBeers

[Liv holds the card] What's that chick's problem?

Liv Moore

That's the Empress. She symbolizes fertility and growth in the natural world. Ancients say...

Blaine DeBeers

Super boring. Sorry I asked.

Liv Moore

[they see Bozzio and Clive kiss from the front window] Love is only a delay of death, a tragedy waiting in the wings.

Blaine DeBeers

[Blaine turns his head to Liv] You're bumming me out, man.

Liv Moore

Odd, I was under the impression that you knew I couldn't stand the sight of you and yet, here you are.

Blaine DeBeers

I'm an acquired taste. Like gazpacho or that free U2 album.

Liv Moore

You need my help? I try not to make a habit of fraternizing with murderers.

Blaine DeBeers

That's no way to go through life, is it?

Blaine DeBeers

Look, I know they brought the FBI in on this missing persons case. Read it in the paper. Been a Sunday subscriber since '07, NBD. Anyway, they got this lady Fed heading up the investigation, Dale Bozzio. Bitching name. One you'd remember. Ring any bells?

Liv Moore

Maybe.

Liv Moore

Well, would you look at that? The death card. The 13th trump in the Tarot. A fitting reminder that no matter how clever a path we run, the Reaper always takes his bounty.

Blaine DeBeers

[Blaine walks into the morgue] Did you eat Edgar Allen Poe?

Blaine DeBeers

Look at us, on a stakeout. You're like, the stoic by-the-book veteran and I'm the fun guy who...

Liv Moore

Who deals drugs and kills homeless teenagers.

Blaine DeBeers

I was gonna says, "Doesn't play by the rules," but sure.

Blaine DeBeers

You know those five missing gentlemen in the newspapers, the ones the FBI has seen fit to investigate?

Liv Moore

Yeah?

Blaine DeBeers

Well, three of them were big fans of brains. I know. They were my customers. It seems someone out there is killing Seattle's zombies.

Liv Moore

And you're here to warn me? To make sure that I watch my back?

Blaine DeBeers

Oh, God, no. I'm telling you this because I need your help to stop whoever's killing our living-challenged friends. Not to mention, it's bad for my bottom line. So, what do you say, partner? Should we take justice into our own hands? [Blaine holds up the Justice Tarot card]