Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti quotes from IZombie

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi clears his throat] Did you post a picture of what I assume is Madison Brenneck wrapped in sushi rice on your Instagram account? Hashtag 'brain food'?

Liv Moore

'Course I grammed it, that fish was on fleek. Oh, my God. Why did I post that?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Why does anyone post pictures of food? I think it's okay. It just looks like raw tuna.

Ravi Chakrabarti

It turns out our Madison was quite the millennial social media maven. Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr. She had over 600 Yelp reviews. The day she died, she tweeted 27 times. [when Ravi notices Liv not paying attention by tweeting] Liv. Liv.

Liv Moore

'Devoured tuna roll.' Hashtag 'Sushi obsessed.' Hashtag 'Covering my ass.'

Ravi Chakrabarti

You need to be careful not to overshare on social media. Anything zombie-related is TMI.

Liv Moore

Don't worry. I'm on my chill hustle hundo-p.

Ravi Chakrabarti

My annoying millennial speak knowledge ended with TMI, so I have no idea what you just said.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi talks like a game show host] Olivia Moore! Let's see what's inside drawer number one. Today we're sending you home with Madison Brenneck. [Ravi opens one of the morgue doors] 25 years old. The victim of an ill-fated rendezvous with a Seattle cross-town. Bus driver said she never even looked up from her phone. She's only in our morgue because she was killed on city property. So, Madison comes complete with wonderfully unremarkable, non-murdery visions.

Liv Moore

All the great taste, none of the foul play.

Ravi Chakrabarti

But stay here. You know, you'll have two men living with you, one's practically a Greek god who's turned his body into a finely tuned weapon, and, of course, Major. And either of us would do anything for you.

Peyton Charles

My new place has a 24-hour doorman and a hot tub.

Ravi Chakrabarti

The Major will serve as our doorman. All right? He's great with doors. The opening. The closing. And I will make sure your tub time's hot as hell.

Liv Moore

It's him. What do I do?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Well, he's a zombie with anger issues and a prison record. As far as millennial breakup options go, ghosting him gets my vote.

Ravi Chakrabarti

What are you doing on the Seattle PD database?

Liv Moore

Looking for background info on Drake. I feel like he might be hiding something. What kind of person doesn't use Twitter or Facebook?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Only a lunatic. How else would he disseminate inspirational quotes and latte art?

Ravi Chakrabarti

'Real talk? Your sandwich artist was chugging some serious haterade today. No eye contact? Am I a leper? Also, where's the main-from-scratch sriracha? The artisanal pickles?' One star. A bit harsh for Bernie's Sub Shack, don't you think? We eat there once a week.

Liv Moore

[Liv keeps typing] Hashtag 'Sorry, not sorry.'

Peyton Charles

Look, I know one thing. If I ever was turned into a zombie, my first order of business would be to scratch you. I'd be like, 'Oh, man! I'm a zombie.' Scratch!

Ravi Chakrabarti

Seems a little self-serving, but okay.

Peyton Charles

No way am I doing this whole zombie thing without you.

Liv Moore

Is your breakfast not using its indoor voice?

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi stares into his Rice Krispies cereal bowl] Snap, crackle, pop. So loud.

Liv Moore

Drinking on a school night again with Peyton. You're a disgrace to your country's proud history of functional lushes.

Liv Moore

[Liv over the phone] Like I told you, when you're playing drinking games with Peyton, all you'll walk away with is a 'thanks for participating' ribbon.

Ravi Chakrabarti

A tiny man with a jackhammer has taken up residence in my skull.

Peyton Charles

You're the best.

Ravi Chakrabarti

You know, for the record, I'd be very sad to see you go. My liver, on the other hand, is like, 'Good riddance.'

Ravi Chakrabarti

Why are we sprinting?

Liv Moore

Because I'm hungry. I haven't eaten anything lately.

Ravi Chakrabarti

I was afraid that horny-librarian-brain would lead to poor life choices.

Peyton Charles

You don't mind me staying in your hair a little longer?

Ravi Chakrabarti

I do mind. Yeah, you know... But Nietzsche taught us that to live is to suffer.

Clive Babineaux

Geo-whatting?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Geocaching. It's a real world outdoor treasure hunting game. Strangers leave caches, post the GPS coordinates, and then people like us go out and find them. That's what we were doing.

Clive Babineaux

What sort of treasures?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Oh! Let's see. Uh, Matchbox cars, sets of crayons.

Major Lilywhite

Yeah. I found a wheat penny once.

Clive Babineaux

So treasures for children.

Ravi Chakrabarti

It's more about the joy of discovery. Why do men climb mountains, Clive?

Clive Babineaux

Because it tests their endurance, their courage, their sense of themselves as men? Oh, I'm sorry. Were you drawing a comparison?