Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti quotes from IZombie

Liv Moore

[Liv gasps in the school hallway] Oh, my God. That's where Burdick defied principle Henson and went out looking for more ammo. [Liv gasps] And this is the drinking fountain where Burdick first got the news that his foster brother was his actual brother.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi gasps when he see's the actual dead Burdick] And that's where Burdick died.

Liv Moore

I thought you hated the show.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi rolls his eyes] I did. But it's like mental pork rinds. I can't stop!

Liv Moore

Ravi took a video of me snoring, and I was on the verge of ripping out every follicle of his facial hair if he hadn't deleted it.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi next to the two] Steady.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[about Grace LeGare] So they send her to us. And she might've been categorized a 'respiratory failure' due to 'unknown'. But...

Liv Moore

But Ravi figured it out, and he's super desperate for an attaboy.

Clive Babineaux

[Clive hesitates] Attaboy.

Clive Babineaux

What do we know about hemlock?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Well, I believe it was Socrates who said of hemlock, 'I drank what?'

Liv Moore

She wrote erotica, I can barely keep it in my pants.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Then you think about something sacred, like your mum. Or something gross, like Margaret Thatcher. What do American boys think about?

Liv Moore

Baseball, I guess?

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi rocks his head up and down] Then think about baseball.

Liv Moore

I've been a bad morgue attendant. I'll understand if there are punitive measures.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Liv, did you eat a librarian from a porno?

Liv Moore

Have you guys ever wrestled? Stripped down, oiled up, seen who winds up on top?

Major Lilywhite

Have we?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Strangely enough, no.

Major Lilywhite

Night's young.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Hey. Good night of making rich white people less fat?

Major Lilywhite

Yeah. It's God's work what I do.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[when Peyton apologizes] Don't be sorry, we love having you here. Although, you do have a habit of picking the marshmallows out of my cereal, leaving me with a less-than-ideal ratio of marshmallow to crunchy bits, but, you know, I'll let that slide... [when Ravi sees that Peyton's been crying] Oh, no, Peyton. What is it?

Peyton Charles

I screwed up at work.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Can I do anything? I mean, because if you want me to pick every last marshmallow bear out of that box for you... I'll do it.

Peyton Charles

When I was in college, I had this professor, and when he'd hand out the Friday quiz, he'd say, 'Duck soup for you, Sweetheart.' I think he thought it was easier for me than everyone else. But I was probably working twice as hard.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Yeah, before you moved in, I just assumed you were a fembot that plugged into a charging station at night.

Ravi Chakrabarti

I don't know what happened at work, but I promise, the only opinion you need to worry about is your own.

Peyton Charles

It's a pretty low opinion right now.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Well, it shouldn't be. You are formidable. I mean, you're clever and disciplined.

Peyton Charles

Hardly.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Those are just the top tier qualities. All right? You're also clearly blessed with a hollow leg.

Peyton Charles

No, no. Don't go.

Ravi Chakrabarti

I must. I know how this turns out. It's like the shots contest in Raiders of the Lost Ark. You're Karen Allen, and I'm the fat Nepalese guy that ends up under the table.

Ravi Chakrabarti

The violent soundscape of nature is making my ears bleed. Birds chirping, leaves rustling, gnats laying eggs.

Liv Moore

Never start a land war in Asia. Never go toe-to-toe with Peyton Charles when drinking is involved.

Clive Babineaux

Hoping you can work your magic, Liv, help ID these guys.

Liv Moore

Uh...

Ravi Chakrabarti

Looks like a no-brainer to me, Liv.