Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti quotes from IZombie

[Liv in a low voice] This city needs more than a symbol.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Yeah, you keep saying stuff like that. I'll follow behind you, jotting notes for the graphic novel.

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Ravi Chakrabarti

"Super Dead," that's just too awkward to say. "Help me, Super Dead." Ooh! "Mighty Whitey!" what do you think?

I think I would be the Ku Klux Klan's favorite superhero.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Fair enough. What do you think about calling yourself "Doctor Power"? "Dead Power"? "Doctor Dead"? How about "Snow Woman"? Because you're ice-cold, right? Potentially deadly. And...

A woman. Clever.

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Blaine DeBeers

Hey, let's get some mojitos. You know, celebrate.

Ravi Chakrabarti

The next shift is showing up here in 10 minutes. This would be rather hard to explain.

Blaine DeBeers

[Blaine looks at Drake in the body bag] Gotta zip you back up, friend. Down you go.

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[first lines]

[Liv arrives at Ravi's house] Hey, I just got your message. I came as soon as I could.

Ravi Chakrabarti

I texted you last night. Several times. Where were you?

Out thinking. Where were you, Pigpen?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Out digging.

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Where do you think it is?

In the stomach of a dead drug dealer with a prosthetic leg.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Well, the good news is, we've managed to narrow the location of his unmarked grave to a single 100-acre field.

You really need to work on the whole "Good news" concept.

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That's the essence of acting. It's a search for truth.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi crosses his legs and fingers like a therapist] Tell me more about this truth and how to find it.

To create a reality where the truth is fear of zombies, I would draw on a sense memory of something that scared me. Like the time I went camping and I saw a bear.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Or the times you've seen actual zombies.

My point is you don't act with words. You act with your soul. With your imagination. That's what gives the words life.

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[Liv cuts the red suit off the dead Santa Claus in the morgue]

This isn't the sort of visit from old Saint Nick I had in mind.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi into his recorder] Beard color, white as snow.

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[Ravi sits Liv and Major on the couch to tell them something]

Ravi Chakrabarti

I thought you should both hear this at the same time.

Oh, no, are you and Mom getting a divorce?

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Remember what it's like to eat an apple? Oh, look, there's one now, ripening on this tree.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Liv picks the apple off the imaginary tree] Hey, I was saving that.

[Liv shines the apple on her lab coat before taking a bite of it] The skin is so smooth and cool. Here, let me make it shiny before I... Mmm. So crisp and juicy. Oh, sorry. I got some on you.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Fascinating. I wish I had some popcorn. Oh, wait, I do.

[Ravi smiles, opening his computer desk and pulling out a bowl of imaginary popcorn]

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Ravi Chakrabarti

Silver lining... You know, you two finally get to have hot zombie sex. Right? Room temperature zombie sex?

Yeah, about that...

We broke up.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Major mouths to Ravi that Liv broke up with him] Ah. Right.

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I got you a little something, Liv.

[Liv opens the present and gasps] Zombie High, the Complete Second Season!

Ravi Chakrabarti

What's my gift?

Not having to watch that.

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You two don't seem that skeeved.

Ravi Chakrabarti

We've pulled stranger things out of corpses. Golf balls. A snake.

Besides, we were expecting it.

Jordan's pierced...

Ravi Chakrabarti

Yeah, it's front and center on his sex tape.

He had a sex tape?

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi looks at Liv] Aw... So innocent.

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Well, there it is. Some of the most famous junk in America.

Cover it. Cover it. Who gets pierced there? Why?

Ravi Chakrabarti

It's called a Prince Albert. I wonder how you get it through airport security.

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Last night, I was watching Zombie High, and now I'm friggin' in it. But only because the star's been murdered. Is there a word that means both cool and awful?

Ravi Chakrabarti

In the 16th century, the word was egregious. Now it just means, 'shockingly bad.' As in, the way Zombie High treats science.

It's not supposed to be a documentary on zombie biology.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Then mission accomplished.

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The actor who pulled the trigger apparently had no idea he was holding a real weapon.