Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti quotes from IZombie

Liv Moore

Things good with you and Steph?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Yeah, they're fine, I guess.

Liv Moore

Can you have sex without worrying you'll turn her into a member of the undead?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Yeah.

Liv Moore

Then no bitching.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Well, I didn't think I was. It might be time for someone to eat.

'Hello, Governor! Mind the gap.' Is the accent too much?

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi nervously laughs] This... This looked like it took a lot of work.

Liv Moore

So, Syd went into his room alive, no one else came in or out of it, and yet, he was murdered?

Ravi Chakrabarti

You know what this means, right? The murder is a magic trick. Sometimes I really love this job.

Ravi Chakrabarti

You know Steph, the woman I'm kind of seeing?

Peyton Charles

'Kind of seeing.' Yeah. Women love when you use qualifiers like that.

Ravi Chakrabarti

I like her, it's... My question is, look, she just changed her Facebook status to 'In a relationship.'

Peyton Charles

And that freaked you out. Look, I change my status to 'In a relationship' all the time, just to get dudes to leave me alone.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Yeah. Okay. I can see that.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Well, she's just getting a bit intense, you know, okay... I mean, she told me we're celebrating Guy Fawkes Day tomorrow. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was a few weeks ago.

Peyton Charles

[Peyton chuckles] Guy Fawkes Day, huh? Yeah... she's definitely going to propose.

Peyton Charles

Let's get it all out in the open, Man-Things. What about Liv? She's not glomming onto you, is she? She's not cramping your style? She's not being too needy?

Major Lilywhite

No. It's all good. Real good. [Peyton and Ravi remain quiet] I mean, today she left me a voice-mail about how drowning would be a beautiful way to die, but otherwise, you know, same old Liv.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Ah, yeah, uh, she's rolling hard on a death-obsessed magician. It will pass. She just needs to eat someone else's brain.

Major Lilywhite

Is that all?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Mm-hmm.

Major Lilywhite

Question. Since the two of you have really experienced zombie Liv first-hand, how extreme do her personality swings get?

Ravi Chakrabarti

She can be a bit mercurial. But most of the time I enjoy the variety. Of course, I don't have to date her.

Peyton Charles

There was the time her eyes turned red and she killed someone. I'm thinking that was probably a one-off.

Major Lilywhite

A one-off. That's good.

Liv Moore

Twitter, a vast collection of humanity's impetuous thought vomitings.

Ravi Chakrabarti

I'd like to think I'm quite introspective about what I tweet to my 223 followers.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Ugh! What is that horrible, horrible smell?

Clive Babineaux

I'm guessing it's the dead body.

Ravi Chakrabarti

So, I took a gander around the room, and found this in the wastebasket, with this lovely note attached. 'Welcome to PrestoFest.' 'Here's a gift from your fellow magicians.' So I thinks to myself, 'Hmm. Okay. Kind of boilerplate stuff.' Maybe they thought the summer sausage would make up for the stock sentiments. But wait, there's more.

Clive Babineaux

We're all hoping.

Liv Moore

[Ravi reveals the old piece of meat] Ugh!

Ravi Chakrabarti

[as Ravi concludes on reading the note] 'Enjoy the decay!'

Peyton Charles

Aren't you seeing Steph?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Well, I, uh, I ended it.

Peyton Charles

Maybe this was a bad idea, moving in.

Ravi Chakrabarti

No, no, no, no, no, no, stay. I'm an idiot. Maybe I've been drinking? No, it's just the idiocy.

Ravi Chakrabarti

I used to be a real wand hand until I realized it didn't help me with the ladies.

Liv Moore

So you moved onto video games and forensic pathology? [Ravi hesitates] Hey, uh, Clive and I have to go question a magician after his show tonight You want to come?

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi hangs his head in disappointment] I wish. I have a date.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Hashtag, 'I think we have a new lead.'

Liv Moore

Don't do that.

Ravi Chakrabarti

What if you have a vision of having sex with Clive? You might see his O-face!

Liv Moore

Really? That's where your mind goes?

Ravi Chakrabarti

I bet it's super angry. [Ravi makes an angry 'O' face]

Dale Bozzio

Oh, yeah. Clive is a huge Game of Thrones fan. You want to really set him off?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Yes, please!

Dale Bozzio

Ask him what George R.R. Martin is doing right now.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi gasps] We don't know this man at all. Maybe he is a murderer. We should check his basement for human remains.