Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti quotes from IZombie

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi holds a brain in his hands] Peyton, what a pleasant surprise. If I had known you'd be dropping by, I would've worn my less bloody lab coat.

Peyton Charles

Never visiting you at work again.

Peyton Charles

Please, try and rent the apartment across the hall.

Liv Moore

So we can be like the friends from Friends?

Peyton Charles

Oh! Yes!

Ravi Chakrabarti

Fantastic idea! Peyton is Monica-esque. [Ravi looks at Liv] You're clearly a Rachel. Type-A. Relationship drama.

Clive Babineaux

Nick's our guy. His ankle monitor puts him at the time and place of the murder. We'll use it to track him down and arrest him.

Liv Moore

Why can't they all be this easy?

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi puts his thumbs up] Hooray for dumb criminals.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Uh, I didn't know you were home. I was looking for my nail clippers.

Major Lilywhite

Be honest, man. When I leave the house, you like to try on my clothes just to feel close to me.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Sometimes.

Major Lilywhite

[Ravi confronts Major about being the Chaos Killer after breaking into his safe] Why did you do this?

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi yells] Because I have the right to know if I'm living with a murderer! I should know if my friend is killing people!

Major Lilywhite

I'm not killing people!

Ravi Chakrabarti

What? They're not people? They're zombies? So, what's Liv to you?

Major Lilywhite

Look, you don't understand.

Ravi Chakrabarti

You stalk them, Major. You hurt them and you drugged them, and I'm terrified to find out what you...

Major Lilywhite

Stop! [as Major begins to turn into a zombie rage mode]

Major Lilywhite

What happened?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Let me see, what was it? Oh, yeah, um... I accused you of being the Chaos Killer, you turned into a raging zombie, I tranquilized you. How do you feel?

Major Lilywhite

Honestly? Hungry.

Ravi Chakrabarti

You're the Chaos Killer?

Major Lilywhite

Technically, I'm the 'Chaos Kidnapper.' No one is dead, they're frozen.

Ravi Chakrabarti

In preparation for their long-haul interstellar journey?

Major Lilywhite

Max Rager knows about zombies. And they know that they are, at least, partly to blame for them. They want to get rid of the evidence. They identify potential zombies through purchases. Okay, so, hot sauce, tanning, hair dye. But there are hundreds of names. They learned that I can detect zombies. So now they have me going down the list taking out anyone who sets off my zombie sense.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Did you consider turning down their offer?

Major Lilywhite

They said they'd murder everyone on the list starting with Liv.

Ravi Chakrabarti

I see. That's a tough first offer.

Major Lilywhite

Okay, look, everything I have done has been to protect her.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Not to be funny, but that's what she said.

Major Lilywhite

[Major singing in the morgue] Oh, what a beautiful morning / Oh, what a beautiful day.

Ravi Chakrabarti

We're inside.

Major Lilywhite

[Major smiling] Well, that is where the warmest rays of light come from, inside.

Liv Moore

I just beat the snot out of one of his goons trying to get answers, but he didn't know anything.

Ravi Chakrabarti

You did what?

Liv Moore

He started it. He... He tried to manhandle me.

Ravi Chakrabarti

So you went Jack Bauer on him? Are you mental?

Liv Moore

Okay, I might need to get off stripper brain.

Ravi Chakrabarti

(to Blaine) Yeah, um... remember how I was telling you about that guy whose life you ruined? You know, how you turned his fiancée into a zombie, then cost him his job, killed a bunch of kids that were close to him, kidnapped him, locked him a freezer and tortured him, before finally stabbing him to death? Yeah, this is him.

Major Lilywhite

Hey.

Ravi Chakrabarti

'It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.' That's Don Corleone.

Clive Babineaux

No, it wasn't. And it was Clemenza who said that line, anyway.

Liv Moore

I wonder if we would've been friends if we'd met before I became a zombie.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Definitely. Like me for my antidotes, love me for my anecdotes.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Mmm, that smells familiar. Like something I had from Taiwan from a street car in the capital city.

Liv Moore

Taipei.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Ooh, look at you, always with the answers.