Invader Zim · Season 1
[The phone rings, Zim answers it]
Hello?
Hey ya buddy!
Keef? I told you, I do not require your-
I understand, Zim. I was just thinking that maybe we could-
[Phone beeps]
Hang on, I've got another call. [pushes button on the phone] Hello?
Hey ya buddy! You're gonna love the circus!
[Zim stares at the phone and rips it out of the wall]
What are you doing, GIR?
Nothing...
Nothing... or something?
Oh, I can't take it, you're too smart for me. Keef is planning a s'prise party for you after skool. He gonna bring all the kids because he loves you! [crying] That boy loves you so much! [stops crying] I'm makin' the cake!
He's bringing all the children to our secret lair? Do you realize what this means?
Yes! Wait a minute...no.
It means the mission is in jeopardy!
Aw man! [hums happily]
You don't like waffles?
I'm not in your TV. I'm transmitting from...inside your body! Spooky, yes? At this very moment I'm inside a microscopic submersible somewhere in your disgusting belly attached to your arm control nerve!
Arm control nerve?
Yes. Arm control nerve.
In my...belly?
Yes.
Humans don't have arm control nerves!
Do not question me! I control your arms!!
ARMS...LIKE...NOOOOOOODLES!!
Hahahahahaha..ARG! Idiotic human! I'll just go to your brain and delete the knowlege of where you hid the master disk! And, as an added bonus, I might as well make your entire brain...nn-not smart...no more.
AAAHHHAAOOH!
Now let's see where you are keeping the location of the disk, Dib!
[Zim scans Dib's brain. A target appears on his console]
There!
[Zim fires a laser at the point indicated on the console]
He's in my head! Knowledge losing... brain... poop. I can't remember where the file is! Gaz, he did it! He made me forget!
Quiet, Dib!
And now to unleash stupidity on your entire brain!
What game is that?
This is no game THIS IS MY LIFE!!
Hmmmmmmm...ahhhhhh! The stink of clean. Another win for the Irken army. Clean, lemony-fresh victory is mine!
I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a little bit, 'kay?
[GIR proceeds to roll around, spreading germs all over the spotless base]
GIR, what are you doing? Stop immediately! You're disgusting!
...Awww, somebody needs a hug!
Nononono, no, GIR, no!! [attempts to spray GIR]
I'm gonna hug you!
Germs, chewing on my squeedly-spooch. Not my squeedly-spooch you don't!
[Zim is talking with the Tallest via a large monitor]
Sirs! I apologize for not reporting in, but-- excuse me.
[Zim sprays some germs offscreen]
...all is going well, nothing too big to report, aside to the usual- oh, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT ONE!!
[Zim sprays again and empties it]
The disinfectant, it's almost gone! All hope is lost if I don't find more! Clever! I won't give up! I'll destroy you! And you! And you! And yoooouuu!
[Zim cuts the transmission]
Did that scare you too?
[Tallest Red nods]
[zooms in on single germ] HAH! [jumps over to germ and starts to spray vigorously with Germ Spray]
[starts to choke and gag on Germ Spray]
[continues to spray germ]
[in extremely high-pitched voice] WHYYYYYYY?!? [falls over dead]
[sprays the germ again]
[A student is hit in the stomach by a dodgeball]
Aah! M-My organs!
[laughs] Inferior human organs!
[Zim is hit in the stomach by a dodgeball]
Augh! My squeedly-spooch!
Squeedly-spooch? Did you hear that, Gaz? That's no human organ! Humans don't have squeedly-spooches!
[sarcastically] I've got a squeedly-spooch.
Zim!
[saluting] Sir!
There's a pigeon on your head. You've got head pigeons. Get to the nurse before they spread to the other children!
Yes, Ms. Bitters.
[Zim walks towards the door]
No leaving class without a hall pass, Zim.
Of course...
[Zim walks to Ms. Bitters' desk. She puts a collar around his head. It shrinks around his neck]
If you leave skool grounds, it will explode.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
