That's my brother Clams.
Nice to meet ya there, Clams!
Owww! Squirrreeeelll!!! [sling-shots Sam in the face]
D'ah!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Sam! Sam!
Too late! I already put my tongue in the pudding cup. [puts her tongue back into the pudding cup]
I don't care about the pudding cup.
I did!
We all have to go to Olympia next week for Nora's parole hearing.
For why?
For wh-? For to make sure that they keep that crazy girl in prison!
Maybe they should let her go?
What?! Why?!
Look, I've been to prison. It's not fun in there.
Yeah, and maybe when Nora trapped us she was like, depressed or something?
Yeah, well, I was bummed when I didn't get asked to junior prom, but did I lure the cast of 'Full House' into my basement and torture Uncle Jessie!
Man, I'm so dang sick of this!
What are you doing?
Putting on a suit so I can go home.
Dude, you don't have to keep pretending to be Mr. Perfect for Freddie's mom.
Yeah, he does!
See!
If my mom sees how T-Bo really is, she's never gonna let him stay in our house! [turns to face T-Bo who looks offended] No offence.
Oh I'm not offended. I feel all warm inside knowing that your mom would be disgusted if she knew the real me.
It's not that it's... yeah it's that.
Haha. [sarcastically] That's nice, let's all just pretend that T-Bo doesn't have feelings. [walks out of the Shay apartment]
Hey Teebs, wanna see what I got?
Not really!
Gibbaaaayyy!
Hellooooo.
Gibaloni.
Where've you been?
The mall! With my head up inside something for almost two hours!
Please say it was a horse.
Uh, nope. Haha. But it was inside this really cool machine, that made... this! [gets out a fake version of his own head]
Oh my god!
No!
Woah!
It's an exact replica of my own head!
What does it do?
Blow minds! Look awesome!
Wasn't it expensive?
Oh yeah!
Where'd you get the money?
From that diaper commercial I did.
Oh yeah.
Are your feet in milk?
Yep.
[moves a milk carton off the coach and sits down next to Spencer] I love that.
Hey, did you see the email we got about freaky Nora?
Yeah, it's nice that they're letting her out.
What?! K, what is the matter with everyone?! That girl kidnapped us and beat the fudge out of you!
Look, I'm forgiving, and I like chinese food. That's who I am. [lifts up his dummy head] That's who we are. [nods both his real and fake head]
Well sorry, but we're all going to that parole hearing, and we're all gonna tell the judge that Nora needs to be kept in prison.
[Sniffs his fake head] Ummm, I love that new head smell.
JMJudge Moyle
Alright; Nora Dershlit, you may speak on your own behalf.
Thank you judge Moyle. [sits down] The word 'sorry' doesn't even begin to express how terrible I feel for.. for what I did to the iCarly's. People who I only wanted to respect me, [Gibby begins to get out his fake head but Sam then makes him put it away] to like me, and to accept me as a person and a chicken lover. I'm not worthy of freedom, I deserve to rot in my cell. It's, not a joyful life but, not much worse than the life I used to have. At least now I'm surrounded by other prisoners so, in a way, I finally have friends. Oh, I'm sorry, mom and dad!
[Nora's mother starts to cry]
JMJudge Moyle
The victims will now have a chance to speak.
Thank you Judge. [turns to Nora] Look Nora. What you did was- [Nora's mother interrupts with her crying] Without.. without consequences- [Nora interrupts with a guilty noise] A person never learns- [Nora interrupts once again with a gulity noise] Oh, just let her go, let her go! [Hugs Sam and starts crying]
Shhh, it's ok, shut up, shut up. [tries to comfort Carly]
[Get's his head out once again and shoves it in a lady's face] Wanna smell my head?
JMJudge Moyle
Nora Dershlit. Trapping the stars of a webshow in your basement, is a serious crime. But since your victims- [stops after noticing Gibby's fake head] What is that?!
Oh, haha. This is an exact replica of my head! Is it blowing your mind?
JMJudge Moyle
Yes. [gets back on subject] Nora. These nice iCarly kids have forgiven you for what you did. And since your life up to this point has been truly.. pathetic, this court takes pity on you. [clicks his pen and starts writing] Nora Dershlit is hereby granted parole, to be immediately released, to the custody of her parents.
NSNora's Parents
Oh, thank goodness! Yes!
JMJudge Moyle
Balif, remove her handcuffs.
[Nora's handcuffs are removed and she kisses her mom and dad.]
Oh, you guuyyyss! [rushes over and hugs the iCarly gang]
IGiCarly gang
Yayyy... [sarcastically]
Oh, I dunno what to say! After what I did to you iCarly's on my 16th birthday, you came all the way here today and helped me regain my freedom!
Oh, you don't have to thank us.
We're just happy you're a better person now.
Oh I am, I know I am!
NSNora's Mother
Come on Nora. We have a surprise Norwegian supper waiting for you back at home.
Wow, really!
NSNora's Father
Yes, baby.
NSNora's Mother
And, we invited all your classmates from school.
[gasps] And they're all coming?!
NSNora's Father
No.
NSNora's Mother
None of them are.
Oh, well, Carly, Sam, Freddie, Gibby, Gibby's head, would you all, please, come?
[The iCarly gang begin making excuses on why they can't go.]
Well, that's ok. I guess it will just be me, my mom and my dad.
NSNora's Father
Sorry, I can't make it, baby.
Why not?
NSNora's Father
I wanna go camping, alone, tonight. [kisses her forehead]
Oh, I guess it will just be supper for the two of us then. [looks at the iCarly's really upset before heading home]
[The iCarly gang look at each other feeling really bad and sorry for Nora]
Uh, okaayy, we'll come to your Norwegian supper.
You will?! All of you will?
IGiCarly Gang
Yeahhh...
Oh, yay! Yay for days! Haha!
BBaliff
Hey, uh, has anybody here seen my taser?
Sam.
Sam.
Oh! Is this your taser? [gets out the taser from her bag and gives it back]
Oh, I'm home! This is where I belong, back in the bosom of my youth!
[laughing with Freddie] Ha, Bosom.
I know. [giggle with Gibby]
[Maurice clucks]
Maurice! Oh, Maurice, I missed you so much! Give me some beak! [kisses Maurice]
This place brings back the memories, huh?
Yep. Hey, Nora, remember when your clown had an aneurism, or should I say, clownurism?
Yes, poor Cramps!
NSNora's Mother
Ok, kids, we don't need to talk about that terrible day! Not when we have this beautiful buffet of Norwegian foods. [brings everyone round the table of food, and takes of the foil from the food]
Yeahh, what exactly are, 'Norwegian Foods'?
NSNora's Mother
Well, we have lutefisk.
Lutefisk?
It's dry cod fish soaked in lie solution for several days.
That's nauseating.
Nauseatingly delicious!
NSNora's Mother
And then we have warm tongue with flan.
Oooo! And about desert?
[Nora's mother takes of the foil of the desert]
[gasps] Beef cookies and cream! [gasps again]
[Freddie looks disgusted whilst getting out his phone]
Ok, [picks up a lutefisk] even I can't eat this chiz! [and throws it back down again disgusted]
Hey, there's no way we're gonna make the last train back to Seattle.
I'll just text Spencer and tell him to come pick us up. [gets out her phone and texts Spencer] "Hey, pick us up from Nora's at about 9 o'clock-"
Try this monkfish liver! [shoves a plate of Norwegian food in Sam and Carly's faces]
[Sam stands there with a disgusted look on her face]
"..Or sooner."
Arrggghhhhh!!
[walks up to the TV] Spencer! Spencer!!
Oh, silly Carly, he can't hear you.
He's in the basement!
Would you stop that wheel?!
Oh, I'd be glad to. [stops the wheel]
Arggghhhhh..... Oh, great, it's stopped spinning.. now I can puke.
No need to watch that. [turns off the TV]
Don't turn it off, it was just getting good!
Nora... you're a nutcase!
[stands up on the couch] The proper term is disturbed, lonely, socio-path.
Look, dude, we're the ones who got you out of jail!
True.. but first, you tainted the memory of my 16th birthday party! So now, we're going to undo the taint. Mother, please fetch our party guests!
NSNora's Mother
[while doing weird and uncool hand gestures] BRB!
You're the one who ruined the memory of your own birthday party!
Everything would’ve been cool if you'd just let us go home afterwards!
Instead of you and your stupid chicken locking us in your basement!
You will never, besmirch the name of my chicken. You apologize to Maurice right now!
Ah, sniff it Nora.
I will not, sniff it! But I will give Carly's brother, the spins.
[Nora's starts spinning Spencer's wheel again]
Oh no, It's turning again, what's.. happening!?
Just apologize to the chicken!
Urghh. [walks over and bends down to Maurice] I'm sorry that I bespired your name by calling you stupid. And that I've eaten thousands of your relatives.
[Nora stops Spencer from spinning]
Thank you, Sam. Now let's all wear party hats, there's some right over there!
We're not wearing party hats.
Put on the hats!
[They all rush over and quickly put on the hats]
Wait a second.
[The other three stare at Gibby]
Why are you guys staring at me?
You said, "Wait a second."
Oh, yeah! Uh, there's 4 of us and 1 of Nora, so let's just take the remote away from her.
Ooooh, bad idea. See if any iCarly's make a sudden move, I hit this special red button, and Spencer spins at top speed until his brain turns to goo.
Goo?!
Yes, goo! Haha! And you won't be able to stop it.
Huuhhhh. She's really thought this through.
Yes, prison gives you lots of time to think, and to plan, and to not shower.
[All stand there with disgusted faces once again]
Alright! You want the truth?
Yes! Right Now!
You... I...:
[T-Bo walks over to kitchen countertop and takes a drink, stalling for time]:
Okay, nobody calls me Terrence! I am T-Bo! T - Bo! I'm not fancy! [In fancy voice] I don't talk like this. [In normal voice] I sling smoothies, I put food on sticks, and I like a lot of women!
You lied to me.
So much!
Why?
So you'd rent me the room! Now this is the real me. You can either accept me as I am, or just tell me to get out.
Get out.
[T-Bo stands with a shocked, disappointed face]:
Ok, what are we gonna do?!
[starts walking towards her bag] I'll tell you what we're gonna do. As soon as those two freaks walk back in here... [gets out and starts swinging the butter sock]
No, no butter sock.
C'mon, man!
You can't attack them as long as Spencer's on that wheel in the basement or else Nora's just gonna spin him again.
And anyway that butter sock is gross!
I change the butter once a month!
Do you really?
No.
Man, there is no way to get this window open.
Hey, I know how Santa Claus would get out of here.
Oh, the chimney!
Right, that's the one!
[the three of them rush over to the chimney.]
No. [strokes the dummy's hair] On a reindeer.
[Annoyed] Gibby!
You idiot.
We thought you meant climbing up the chimney.
That could also work.
Urgh, just stuff yourself up there and go for help!
Kay kay.
Wa, wa, wa, wait! The Dershilts will notice he's gone!
No. 'Cause Gibby's gonna be taking a nap [Pulls out Gibby's fake head] on the couch.
NNNora and Nora's Mother
[they both come out of the kitchen carrying cake and singing] "Oh, for Nora's a jolly good person, for Nora's a jolly good person... [Nora makes the iCarly gang join]
EEveryone
For Nora's a jolly good person!...
Now Freddie's gonna get kissed!"
What?! That's not the lyrics! I don't want-
[Nora blows out her candles and grabs Freddie]
No! C'mon!
[Nora kisses Freddie and Carly and Sam stand there looking worried and shocked]
[Nora's still kissing Freddie whilst Sam, Carly and Nora's mother and watching and eating cake]
[finally lets Freddie go] Yeah! [gives Freddie a thumbs up]
[out of breath, he turns to Sam and Carly, looking shocked and confused.] You guys just stood there, eating cake, while I was tampered with?!
It's really good cake.
[Pokes his head out the top of the chimney] Gibbeh! Yeah. Fresh air, baby. [Spits] Now I gotta get to the cops, and then crazy Nora's gonna find herself back in prison where she [Tries to get out from the top of the chimney, but is unsuccessful] Gibbeh! And I'm stuck.
NSNora's Father
This is supposed to be a party. A birthday party, that will go on forever, and ever... [Nora joins her father]
NNNora and Nora's Father
And ever, and ever...
[Nora's mother walks through the door, and joins Nora and her father.]
DFDershlit family
And ever, and ever, and ever...
Oh, my god.
Hey! Hey, you kids, hey! Up here! Yeah, hi. Uh, can I get a little help?
KKid
Hey. That's the dude from iCarly.
KKid
Yeah, that's Gibby.
KKid
Gibbeh!
KKid
Hey, Gibby, take off your shirt.
No, I do that less frequently now. Listen, I'm stuck and I can't move my arms. I need you guys to call the cops.
KKid
Let's throw balls at him.
KKid
Yeah!
What? No! Don't throw balls at me. I'm completely vulnerable. Why would you wanna throw? [Kids throw balls at him, but the balls hit the top of the chimney instead] Ha-ha! You missed me, you missed me, now you gotta kiss; [A kid throws a ball at his head] This is how you treat an Internet star?! [The kids start throwing balls at him] Stop it!
[when Mrs. Benson and T-Bo are about to leave for the Dershlits, T-Bo walks into the bathroom]
Where are you going?
...To get my $7 bottle of Jamaica my hair so silky!
You made a hamburger?
Your mom's got this!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's iCarly pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.