iCarly · Season 1
You got your room back.
Except for all your old photos and other personal items that can never be replaced.
GIBBY!!
(to Spencer) Who has the best big brother ever?
You... (they hug, then face the others)
Man. Is there anything money can't do?
Why does your chest look all thick?
Um… I've been working out... y'know, pushups and, milk... [Carly takes his shirt off to reveal a bulletproof vest]
That's... quite a sports bra.
[as a knock on the door is heard] Come in.
[The door opens, revealing Sam's mother]
[shocked] Mom?!
They're never gonna make nice! They're both horrible in their own ways! [to Sam] No offense, you know that you're my best friend and that I love you, but let's face it, you're a nightmare!
[to Spencer] Dude, if I didn't have a little crush on you, you'd be falling for my baseball bat to your face bit!
Little crush?
Did he sign the contract or not?!
How long did the doctor say you have to wear that cast?
6 weeks.
Well, it's your own fault. You jumped off that pipe for nothin'.
You said my cue was Gibby and I heard Gibby.
Yeah, but you didn't hear the cue!
Guys-okay, yes, the cue was Gibby. [the 4 start yelling at each other quickly]
You guys? [they continue yelling] YOU GUYS!
[very angry] WHAT, T-BO?!
You guys gotta do something about Spencer, the boy's gone too far.
What did he do now?
He gave me the fancy face cream from Europe. It says "It make your face all smooth.".
Yeah?
Well, my face is already smooth. So I gave it to my friend Lucas here. His face has dry patches.
And?
Kevin, kill the lights! [Kevin turns the lights off as Lucas's face glows in the dark]
Whoa! [the 4 are shocked]
Turn 'em back on! [Kevin turns the lights back on as Lucas's glow face goes off] Glow in the dark face cream?! What kinda sick man thinks that's funny?!
[sighs] I'm sorry!
Tell that to Lucas! Now he can't go see a movie! You all better do something about Spencer.
Mm-hmm.
No one wants to kill a live chicken and then barbecue it!
You don't know everything.
iCarly is not responsible for damage caused to your feet, toes or the central nervous system.
They really hit it off.
GIBBY!!
(referring to the old lady who stomped her) She stomped me with her boney old foot!
You want me to rub it? (she looks at him displeased) You rub it.
Give me the mic. (takes the mic)
Go get em', kid:
You have the breath of a dastardly goat with infected gums.
Your words have no bite. For they are spoken by a gutless thief. Sprung from a lineage of cowards and hog farmers! (the crowd gasps)
...Okay, seriously dude, you take that back right now.
No returns, man. Put it out there and it's staying out there!
(to the people quarreling with each other) Stop fighting! You don't need to do this! Have you no sense of decency?!?
(is playing with a Rubik's cube and completes one side, then turns to Sam) Look! I got one side done.
Nice.
Will you take your head out of your Fatshake and listen to me?! [grabs fatshake and slams it on table]
I remember it. It was the first day of seventh grade and my dad told me 'Cort: you gotta learn how to tie your own shoes. It's important.' Now I can tie my own shoes without even thinking about it!
Aww.
That is such an interesting story !
You are sooo good looking.
[laughs] I was about to say that.
Um excuse me. Someone left their purse here. Is there a lost and found I could take it to?
No, that's my purse.
[gasps] You must've been so worried!
No...it was just on my bed.
[surprised] I have a bed!
I got one, too!
Rock on!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's iCarly pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
