iCarly · Season 1
(after Cal jumps out the glass door of the Groovy Smoothie and is pursued)
You built... an illegal nuclear powered generator?!
Uh, sort of, maybe. ...But, I still get an A+, right? (Henning shakes his head) A-? (he shakes his head again) ...Root and Berry? (he nods)
You think I'm pudgy.
I didn't say that.
Maybe I should just leave the room before my skirt explodes!
I don't think that-- [a worm falls on Spencer's head] ...a worm fell on my head.
Hey! Move, lady!
I'm helping the environment!
Stupid hippie!
I'm a plant murderer! One day, they'll make a movie about me called The Plant Murderer!
(seeing the plant Carly accidentally killed) YOU'RE A PLANT MURDERER!
You want some bagels?
No, I just want smoothies.
Let's just recap. You steal my motorcycle, I don't have you arrested! I invite you into my home, I teach you about the joys of sculpting. I'm forced to wait an hour... for BAGELS I didn't even want! (grabs the bag and shakes it) And then I come home to find you chewing on my sister's face!
We were kissing.
GUILTY!
Well, Wendy and I were trying to study, but Griffin kept turning up the music, so Wendy got frustrated and left. Then I told Griffin he was obnoxious and he said I should "rent a sense of humor" and I said "Oh, really?" and then while I was telling him that I needed to study I realized he's super-cute, and he asked me if I like music, so I go "Who doesn't like music?". So then I turned on some music and we started talking and then I realized he's really sweet, and fun and his face was right there in front of me so I leaned over and I kissed him! And I don't kiss like (making kissing noises) I kiss like a princess!
You are grounded... for... till college.
For till college?!
FOR TILL COLLEGE!!!
Why?!
For kissing that delinquent!
You're the one who took him under your wing!
Well, this wing shall flap no more. Griffin is never allowed up here again, and you're never allowed to have any contact with him!
Why? What did I do that was so bad?
Oh, you know, lipsy.
I'm almost 15! How old were you when you started kissing girls?
Elev--that is not the issue!
Here's your smoothie.
Thanks. (pays him)
You want some bagels with that? [Winks]
DON'T START WITH ME!
[to Carly] If I go to your apartment, your brother's gonna want to tase me.
Nah, I've been tased before... It's not so bad.
[to Griffin] Why don't you go steal something and go, "Duh, I stole something?"?
I may be an idiot... but I'm not stupid.
[greeting Carly and Sam] Buenos dias, muchacha-latas.
Freddie, we need your opinion.
And if you can, try not to make it stupid.
Sam... What would you think of someone who... collects Pee Wee babies?
I don't know, depends. How old is she?
Aw, man!
What?
"She"?! Why'd you have to say "she?!"
What is going on here?
"She" is... Griffin.
Oh...
[raises fists in triumph] YES!!!!! OHHHH YEAAAAAAH!!!!! HA HA HA!!!!!
It's NOT funny!
It's kinda funny...
So you gonna break up with him?
I don't know. I don't wanna be a terrible person. Should I just keep dating him?
Why not? Hey, maybe you can double date. You know, you, him, Willy the Walrus and Peggy the Penguin...
Peter the Penguin. Maybe I should wear a bunny suit on our next date!
He'd probably ask you to marry him!
Then we can honeymoon on Pee Wee Island!
[The two giggle just as Griffin enters the studio, unamused]
Real funny.
GRIFFIN! [makes shocked sound] I... I didn't know you were there!
You were making fun of my Pee Wee Babies! What, you don't think Pee Wee Babies are cool?
Well, I just thought you were a different kind of guy.
What kind?
The kind that doesn't collect Pee Wee Babies?
Okay, look. If you can't accept my hobby, then maybe we should break up.
[Carly does not answer]
Well?
[Carly is about to say something, but then she imagines Pee Wee Babies circling over Griffin's head]
Whee!
Don't break up with us, Carly!
Love us!
We can all get married!
And honeymoon on pee wee island!
The sand on the beach is made of sugar!
Whee! Whee!
[Disturbed, Carly hesitates and says nothing to Griffin]
You know what? Forget it. We're over. [leaves]
Dude, he's walkin' out.
[relieved] Yeah...!
[about Sam being paranoid] And last year you were sure Gibby was a mermaid.
He hates wearing shirts! Coincidence?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's iCarly pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
