Dr. Volakis quotes from House

He said he'd be here by three, he's obviously not coming. [removes her runners bib and starts to leave] I'm going home.

Nobody follow her. She "pied pipered" nine people right out of a job last week.

Thirteen

Patient has spinal muscular atrophy. It's genetic, incurable. This is not a diagnostic mystery.

Dr. House

You have just given a state secret to the enemy.

Thirteen

What enemy?

Dr. House

New patient, new rules. Today you're gonna split yourselves into two teams. The first to figure out what's threatening to deprive the patient of the twenty or so miserable years he's got left with SMA gets to keep their jobs. Take off your numbers, you look stupid. I think I know who you are by now.

Wait, how do you want us to split up?

Dr. House

Good question [pauses, forgetting Dr. Kutner's name] …overly-excited former foster kid. There's ten of you, I was thinking six against six. No, wait…

How 'bout women versus men.

Dr. House

Excellent suggestion…fat twin. More interesting than "evens versus odds", less interesting than "shirts against skins". If your sex organs dangle - you're the Confederates. If your sex organs are aesthetically pleasing - you're the Yanks.

Dr. House, I'd like to be on the men's team.

Dr. House

Do your sex organs dangle, Cutthroat Bitch?

Not yet.

We're not okay.

I get it - you don't like me because maybe I'm a little bit competitive.

Manipulative.

"Cutthroat Bitch" is your official title.

What do you want us to do?

Dr. House

The question is... what would Joseph Smith do?

This isn't the time for--

Dr. House

Casting out the demons?

The patient's not possessed, she's dying. You can mock me tomorrow.

Dr. House

You believe that the book has all the answers.

To morality, not science!

Dr. House

But the book is inconsistent with science. Do you know how many epileptics were tortured because they were "possessed"? How many teenage witches were stoned to death because they took mushrooms?

Just shut up already! We've got a patient dying!

Dr. House

You either gotta prescribe an exorcism, or admit to me that Smith was a horny fraud--

[after a moment of silence] I know what she has.

Dr. House

You couldn't have spoken up ten seconds ago? You could've saved me a hundred bucks.

Dr. House

[places record in record player] A little mood music, build the suspense.

Sounds more folky.

Dr. House

You seriously have no idea when to shut up, do you? Amber! Please stand.

You didn't call me a bitch... is that bad?

Dr. House

You play the game better than anybody else here. [Dr. Volakis smiles.] But for the wrong reasons.

Reasons don't matter. Results are the only thing...

Dr. House

You were wrong. [beat] Twenty years ago, [points to the record player] this was recorded by Jim Moskowitz. Who later became known as Jimmy Quidd. Loves kids, apparently has a heart, perhaps even a soul. If you're gonna work for me, you have to be willing to be wrong, willing to lose. 'Cause you just did. [somberly] You're fired.