James Wilson quotes from House

House

Statistically, this treatment has about the same chance of killing you as the thymoma does. But a hell of a lot faster.

Wilson

[Picks up a small maze puzzle off his desk] Nancy Wells, cervical cancer, 70% survival rate. Died November 6, 1998; 64 years old. [Puts the puzzle down and picks up a small wooden carving of a bird] Bernie Jones, melanoma, 89% survival rate. October 10, 1999. He was 52. [Puts the bird back and picks up a deep sea diver from a collection of toys on a counter behind his desk] John Taylor. Thyroid. 96% survival rate. I promised him he'd be fine. [Putting down the toy] Eight years old. I am not going to die slowly in a hospital bed under fluorescent lighting with people stopping by to gawk and lie about how I look. Even a small chance of that happening is too big a chance for me.

House

You're an idiot. And the odds say you're gonna die. We'll do it at my place.

Wilson

If things go wrong, I just want you to know...

House

If you're going to say that you've always been secretly gay for me, everyone always just kind of assumed it.

Wilson

It's pathetic. I'm pathetic. An oncologist with cancer. Of all the things that could be killing me...It's like the universe is giving me the big middle finger.

House

The universe doesn't care--

Wilson

Why me? I'm always telling my patients not to torture themselves, because there's no answer.

House

Sound advice.

Wilson

It's cruel advice. They were just trying to make sense of what was happening to them, and I'm there telling them not to bother? I should have spent my life being more like you. Should have been a manipulative, self-centered, narcissistic ass who brought misery to everything and everyone in his life.

House

You'd still have cancer.

Wilson

Yeah! But at least I'd feel like I deserved it.

House

Okay, your heart rate's up, BP's tanking. White blood count's at 500. We have to go to the hospital now.

Wilson

No.

House

I don't have the equipment or the meds to handle this.

Wilson

No. Win or lose. Win or lose. That was the deal.

House

That was the deal when there was an "or". You can't win this.

Wilson

No. No. I'd rather die here. [crying] Not in an ambulance. Not in a hospital. Please, you can't do that to me. I can't — House… Please. Promise me that you won't do that to me. Promise me.

House

Okay, I promise.

Wilson

I want a threesome.

House

Shouldn't we try a twosome first?

Wilson

He's not my child. I cannot be responsible for the happiness of Gregory House.

Foreman

You are responsible. The past 20 years, you've had three wives, hundreds of colleagues, thousands of patients. But you've kept that one best friend.

Wilson

He was my friend. The thing you have to remember, the thing you can’t forget, is that Gregory House saved lives. He was a healer, and, and in the end...

SHUT UP YOU IDIOT

Wilson

When the cancer starts getting really bad —

House

Cancer's boring.