Joseph Byrne quotes from Holby City

Jac

I've had plently of time to lie here and think about myself. About myself as a grade A bitch.

Joseph

That would be grade A scheming bitch.

Joseph

No, I have no interest in hiring your establishment, with or without a bouncy castle.

Jac

Lighten up, Joseph. I'm sure it's not the first time you've enjoyed yourself on top of an inflatable.

Joseph

Are you crying?

Jac

[unconvincingly] No.

Joseph

Yes you are.

Jac

Why d'you always want to see me cry?

Joseph

To see how far robotics has progressed.

Joseph

You're taking Mr Frisby up to theatre?

Jac

No, we're going for a Chinese and then we're off clubbing.

Joseph

It's not going to work, Jac - I'm wise to your emotional manipulation.

Jac

Lucky I'm great in bed then, isn't it?

I spent last autumn working in Nepal.

Jac

Believe it or not, now is not the time for photos.

Ah, stay with me it will make sense. Climber’s Field Hospital.

Joseph

Ah, so you climb.

Ah, some. With Nick. Anyway, the point is there was a husband and wife team from Dehli running the place. Orthopods. Absolutely solid in theatre. Knew each other inside out.

Jac

And?

Watching you guys reminded me a little.

Jac

Do you remember Madame Butterfly?

Joseph

Is it my entire life that’s going to flash before my eyes, or just the edited highlights?

Jac

I hated it, you know that? Opera. I really bloody hated it.

Joseph

You should have just said.

Jac

Well, uncharacteristically I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. We hadn’t been together very long. Your hands were shaking… you don’t remember, do you?

Joseph

I remember.

Jac

Men never remember detail; just the carnal event. And even the memory of that is just twisted by their gigantic egos…

Joseph

I remember.

Jac

Go on, then.

Joseph

You had your hair up. Never seen it like that, before or since. You wore a dark green velvet dress, with a shawl, a silver shell necklace – and a beautiful broad smile. You couldn’t stop smiling; you looked like someone else. No, actually, you looked like you. Like you should look. It stays in my mind, you know. Just locked away.

Joseph

Sleeping with the boss will capture the imagination of the hospital.

Who’s saying I did?

Joseph

These things come out. Chin up; could be worse. You could be about to spend the afternoon in mediation with your cheating wife, who no doubt will pull a sad face and tell the lawyers it’s all your fault. ‘Scuse me while I just go and burn myself alive.

Joseph

Still spreading peace and love wherever you go I see.

Jac

Was I talking to you?

Jac

I bet you think it's really funny making me out to be an imbecile in front of Jayne Grayson.

Donna

Oh I think you did that all by yourself.

Jac

You set me up.

Donna

Yeah? Well what about the mysterious disappearing CT scan, not to mention the dead battery in Mike's bleeper.

Jac

Oh so it's Mike now.

Donna

Yeah, he's a mate of mine. Do you know what they are?

Jac

Very disappointed in you Donna(turns around and starts to walk off)

Joseph

Ah Miss Naylor, and how was your day?

Jac

Get stuffed.