Chief Daniels quotes from Hill Street Blues

Chief Daniels

[about his bowel movement] I gotta tell ya, I feel great! For the first time in three weeks, this morning I had a normal sit-down. I can't tell you what a joy it was. Went in there with the sports section and it was unbelievable.

Chief Daniels

Did you ever have hemorrhoids, Frank?

Furillo

I can't say I have.

Chief Daniels

You're one of the blessed ones, believe me. It's the closest thing in the world to having a tennis ball up there. [raises his glass of mineral oil] Cheers. [makes a bitter face and shivers as the liquid goes down] Weak rectal tissue. It's hereditary, Frank.

Chief Daniels

We're not talking dog, Frank. We're talking image! And like it or not, this over-bred lapdog has a higher gubernatorial profile than the state bird, whatever the hell it is.

Goldblume

Uh, swallow, sir.

Daniels

[talking about the possible corruption in the Midtown precinct] Occur to you whose precinct that was?

Furillo

[pause, then] Yes.

Daniels

Commander Cleveland of Midtown. Wouldn't that be something, Frank, if Ozzie got tarred with this brush?

Furillo

I think the whole department would be tarred. I don't think there'd be any winners, Chief.