Jasper quotes from Henry Danger

Jasper

Captain Man!

Henry

What about Captain Man?

Jasper

Did you guys see what he did yesterday?

Charlotte

Can we focus on algebra?

Charlotte

So how'd the mission go?

Jasper

Yeah, did you guys capture Slappy Pete?

Kid Danger

Yeah, we got him, but he slapped me pretty good. Is there a mark? [shows the slap hand mark to the others]

Jasper

Ehhhh....

Schwoz

So red.

Kid Danger

Tiny handed freak.

Jasper

I didn't know that Slappy Pete has 6 fingers.

Kid Danger

He was holding a tiny little hot dog when he slapped me. Tiny handed, hot dog eatin freak.

Piper

[shocked] Oh, my God! My brother is Kid Danger!

Kid Danger

No, I'm not, I mean... No, he's not. I mean, no, we're not. Who's your brother? He's probably awesome, but he's not me. You should leave!

Piper

[to Captain Man] And you, must be Henry's boss from Junk N Stuff.

I sure am! You got a smart sister, Henry.

Kid Danger

Dude!

Yeah, that's your brother. I'm his boss. Make yourself at home. I will be riiight back. [leaves]

Wait, why are you being so calm about this, and where are you going?

Piper

[to Kid Danger] Who else knows about this? Does Mom know?

Kid Danger

No.

Piper

Does Dad know?!

Kid Danger

No! And no, they don't. Okay, you can't tell them. You can't tell anybody about this because no one else knows.

Charlotte

Henry! You and Ray have got ti stop playing with the break room...

Piper

Charlotte?!

Charlotte

Piper?!

Piper

You said no one else knows!

Charlotte

Uh... I don't know. I don't know anything. I just woke up here.This isn't my house! Where am I? [chuckles nervously]

Kid Danger

Okay, fine! Charlotte knows, and is a really terrible liar, but no one else knows.

Jasper

[appears by the elevator] Hey, Henry! The package thief was your Dad! Hey, Piper. Check out how great my fake eyebrows -- [realizes] Oh my God, what's Piper doing here?!

Piper

Jasper knows too?!

Kid Danger

Okay, yes! Jasper knows, and so does Charlotte, but that... that's it!

Schwoz

Up the tube! [goes up the tube]

Piper

Was that our new neighbor from Germany?

Kid Danger

Well...

Piper

'Cause he also looks like our Italian plumber.

Kid Danger

That's actually a funny story...

Piper

And the guy who fell through our ceiling and landed on top of me!

Kid Danger

Okay, yes, he's all those people, all right? And probably some other guys that I can't remember right now. [his phone rings] Hang kn a sec. [answers the call] What, Schwoz?

Schwoz

[on phone] Your sister is in the Man Cave! I think she might have seen me.

Kid Danger

Yeah. I know she saw you. Get back here, click.

Schwoz

[on phone] Click.

Charlotte

I don't need a new kitchen un 6 to 8 weeks, I need a kitchen today!

Henry

Why?

Ray

Yeah, what's your deal?

Charlotte

My deal is that I have a date tonight with Jack Swagger, and I was gonna MAKE HIM DINNER AT MY HOUSE!!!

Henry

Wait...

Jasper

You know Jack Swagger?

Henry

International music superstar Jack Swagger?

Schwoz

Youngest person to win a Grammy Jack Swagger?

Ray

You have a date?

Charlotte

Yes! With Jack Swagger!

Jasper

How do you know Jack Swagger?

Charlotte

We went to camp together, like 10 years agoa, back when he was Jack Swagawitz.

Jake

Henry Prudence Hart...

Kris

We are so...... proud of you!

Kid Danger

Sick turn, Mom.

Jake

You're a superhero, son! Other than being an actor it's the most important thing you could be in this world.

Kid Danger

Wait so you're really not mad? Even though I'm failing out o school?

Jake

Ha! No, we're still really mad about that.

Kid Danger

Wait a second. Charlotte's the one who thinks. If Charlotte were here, she would probably say something like... "Mmm. I don't know guys, this looks pretty bad." And then I would say, "Wow, Charlotte, that's not very helpful." And then Schwoz would say, "Uh, I might have a device." And I'd say, "Nice, Schwoz, what does that device do?" And then Ray would probablg say, "I got a device that can fix this - my fist!" And then Jasper, he'd say, "I got a device that can comb my hair!" And then, Piper would be like, "Jasper, that's a comb." And I would be like, "Guys, can we please focus? Because Drex is back, and he just sent Rayy tk the past, and he just kidnapped Bose and Schwoz, and he's gknna erase everybody's memory jn Swellview - and I'm freaking out, guys! I'm freaking out!" And Charlotte wkuld probably be like...

Charlotte

[offscreen] Everything's gonna be fine.

Kid Danger

Hang on, Charlotte, I'm trying to... [turns around and sees Piper, Charlotte and Jasper] You guys came back! [he runs towards them and hugs them] Good to see you. OK, things are bad. Drex is back, and he sent Ray tk the past but I beat him up pretty bad but then he got away...

Jasper

Henry!

Charlotte

We heard you.

Kid Danger

Right. Okay, that'll save us a lot of time. But I'm still freaking out, I don't know what to do.

Charlotte

Just don't freak out.

Jasper

Yeah, cause we're here and we're gonna help ypu.

Piper

[walks out, holding a huge gun] Yeah. This guy messes with you, he messes with us.

Kid Danger

Okay, I'm just going to push this into the safe zone.