Captain Man quotes from Henry Danger

Seriously? Now you wanna play?

Henry Hart

I can't take on Drex.

Schwoz

Why not you can't?

Henry Hart

Cause... I tried to fight that guy, and hstuffed me in cake butter, and then he spanked me.

Charlotte Page

Where are you going?

Henry Hart

[starts walking away] Home.

Schwoz

Home?

[his head gets stuck in a neutronium box like helmet] Oh, come on, Henry, you can't just go home, not when this town needs you most!

Henry Hart

This town needs a superhero, or... [places his communicator on the chair] At least a decent sidekick, with skills or... was anything. [takes out his gumball tube and looks at it] Here. [throws the gumball tube to Charlotte. He getjo the tube] Up the tube. [He goes up the tube]

[locked in a closet aboard the space station] Hey, kid! Would you ket me out of here?!

Kid Danger

Yeah yeah. [opens the closet door, and Captain Man comes out]

What's going on?!

Your stupid sidekick broke our space station!

Kid Danger

I was pushed!

We're losing oxgyen!

Kid Danger

What? [to Captain Man] Dude, I need oxygen! You know, for like, breathing!

Right. C'mon, we'd better get out of here! [They start leaving]

Hey, hey, hey, wait! You can't leave us up here with no oxygen!

Kid Danger

Well, maybe you should've thought of that, before you pushed me!

It was your fault!

Yeah!

Kid Danger

FALSE! Space holes!

Kid Danger

Whoa, whoa,Ray, have you gained some weight?

No, I haven't gained weight! You're not just pulling hard enough!

Kid Danger

I think you gained weight.

You take that back! I eat less than 2, 000 calories a day!

Kid Danger

Just try to suck it in!

Oh, this is so embarrasing!

Ow! That hurt so bad!

Piper Hart

I AM NOT OKAY!!! [marches upstairs, groaning angrily]

[sits on the couch, feeling relaxed] I'm okay!

All right. Okay, Rick. You've been laughing for like, a really long time now, that's enough.

[laughing] Sorry. You just look so ridiculous.

Well, I wasn't expecting to be frozen by a man I had just saved.

Yeah, that's the plasma gas.

Huh?

Plasma. Yes, it's made from a chemical in a very poisoous cactus I stole from the Swellview Cactus Convention.

Oh that was you.

Uh huh.

Well, good for you. Can we just skip to the part where I punch you and drag you to jail?

That's not gonna happen.

Yeah it is, Rick. I fought a lot of bad guys pal, and I always win.

I'm not your average bad guy... Ray Manchester.

Who's that?

I hacked into the Man Cave computer while you were at Cactus Con. I know everything about you.

No you don't.

Your name is Ray Manchester. You own a fake store bove the Man Cave called "Junk N Stuff." You tell people you're 36, when really you're...

No.

...37!

Arc.

Ryker!

Ciara.

Kid Danger

Schwoz?

Schwoz

Hi.

[looks at the audience] And Captain Man... as the hero.

Piper

[shocked] Oh, my God! My brother is Kid Danger!

Kid Danger

No, I'm not, I mean... No, he's not. I mean, no, we're not. Who's your brother? He's probably awesome, but he's not me. You should leave!

Piper

[to Captain Man] And you, must be Henry's boss from Junk N Stuff.

I sure am! You got a smart sister, Henry.

Kid Danger

Dude!

Yeah, that's your brother. I'm his boss. Make yourself at home. I will be riiight back. [leaves]

Wait, why are you being so calm about this, and where are you going?

Piper

[to Kid Danger] Who else knows about this? Does Mom know?

Kid Danger

No.

Piper

Does Dad know?!

Kid Danger

No! And no, they don't. Okay, you can't tell them. You can't tell anybody about this because no one else knows.

Charlotte

Henry! You and Ray have got ti stop playing with the break room...

Piper

Charlotte?!

Charlotte

Piper?!

Piper

You said no one else knows!

Charlotte

Uh... I don't know. I don't know anything. I just woke up here.This isn't my house! Where am I? [chuckles nervously]

Kid Danger

Okay, fine! Charlotte knows, and is a really terrible liar, but no one else knows.

Jasper

[appears by the elevator] Hey, Henry! The package thief was your Dad! Hey, Piper. Check out how great my fake eyebrows -- [realizes] Oh my God, what's Piper doing here?!

Piper

Jasper knows too?!

Kid Danger

Okay, yes! Jasper knows, and so does Charlotte, but that... that's it!

Schwoz

Up the tube! [goes up the tube]

Piper

Was that our new neighbor from Germany?

Kid Danger

Well...

Piper

'Cause he also looks like our Italian plumber.

Kid Danger

That's actually a funny story...

Piper

And the guy who fell through our ceiling and landed on top of me!

Kid Danger

Okay, yes, he's all those people, all right? And probably some other guys that I can't remember right now. [his phone rings] Hang kn a sec. [answers the call] What, Schwoz?

Schwoz

[on phone] Your sister is in the Man Cave! I think she might have seen me.

Kid Danger

Yeah. I know she saw you. Get back here, click.

Schwoz

[on phone] Click.

Kid Danger

You just blew up the EnvyGram Wall!

At least I got that bird.

Kid Danger

I don't want the job.

Oh, really? Because I'm starting to question your commitment tk Swellview.

Kid Danger

My commitment to Swellview. Are you kidding me?

Well, you don't seem very committed to me.

Kid Danger

I'm not graduating from high school because of how committed I am to this job.

[sarcastically] Oh, all my friends are leaving, and I'm stuck here in Swellview, being a sidekick and saving lives!

Kid Danger

Exactly! I've been too busy saving everybody else's life, I forgot tk have kne of my own!

You swore an oath to defend this city!

Kid Danger

When I waz 13!

So?!

Kid Danger

So maybe I don't wanna do it anymore!

Yeah, 'cause you're obviously terrified kf being stuck here in Swellview with me.

Kid Danger

Yeah, Ray, I am!

Wait, who's Ray?

Kid Danger

[cringes] Dang it!

Bose

I think it's that guy.

WHERE'S THAT DING DANG MEMORY WIPER, SCHWOZ?!

Kid Danger

I don't wanna be your sidekick for another 30, or 40, or 50 years!

But man, that was always the plan! You'd be my sidekick znd then you'd take over as Captain Man when I retire.

Kid Danger

I don't wanna be Captain Man, OK?! I don't ever wanna be Captain Man! I will be never, EVER be Captain Man!

Bose

Psst. He's right there.

Then why are you even here?

Kid Danger

That's a good question. [Takes out the de transformation tube and gives the tube to Ray]

What are you doing?

Kid Danger

Quitting. [pops his gum and de transforms to Henry, causing everyone to gasp]

Henry

Hey, everyone. I'm Henry Hart. [tosses thw communicator to Captain Man] And I used to be Kid Danger. [heads to the elevator] Oh, and Ray?

What?

Henry

I'm taller than you.

Just want you to know that no matter what happens... I'm still mad at you for wanting to leave Swellview!

Kid Danger

[smiling] I know, dude. I know.

Give me the spear, Henry!

Kid Danger

No!

Give me the spear!

Kid Danger

Swellview needs you! [lets go of the spear] Okay?! It needs Captain Man!

Find your parachute and get off this blimp right now!

Kid Danger

[refusing] No!

Henry!

Kid Danger

No!

You were right, okay?! You were only thirteen when you took that oath, you didn't know what you're getting into! You didn't sign up for this! I did! So, get out of here! Let me save my city.

Kid Danger

Okay. Okay, I'll go. But... one more thing.

What?

Kid Danger

I love you, buddy. [pulls the cord on Captain Man's parachufe, which sends him flying off the blimp]

Henry

[as he leaves for Dystopia] See you at Thanksgiving?

Of course.