Schwoz quotes from Henry Danger

I can't take on Drex.

Schwoz

Why not you can't?

Cause... I tried to fight that guy, and hstuffed me in cake butter, and then he spanked me.

Charlotte Page

Where are you going?

[starts walking away] Home.

Schwoz

Home?

[his head gets stuck in a neutronium box like helmet] Oh, come on, Henry, you can't just go home, not when this town needs you most!

This town needs a superhero, or... [places his communicator on the chair] At least a decent sidekick, with skills or... was anything. [takes out his gumball tube and looks at it] Here. [throws the gumball tube to Charlotte. He getjo the tube] Up the tube. [He goes up the tube]

S3 Hour of Power

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We got tickets to Cactus Con!

[Everyone laughs and cheers. Henry gets so excited, that he does a backflip, shocking Ray]

Ray Manchester

Whaaat?! Holy crush, did - did you just do a backflip?

Yeah.

Ray Manchester

[turns to the others] No one else impressed by Henry just doing a backflip?

It's just a backflip.

Schwoz

You only get one.

S5 The Great Cactus Con

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What's up?

Schwoz

Now, you can also fly!

Are you serious?

Schwoz

Yeah! You got all of that bee's power, you too can fly! Just... jump and believe!

Ray

What?! No fair, I wanna fly!

Out of my way, dude, I'm about to fly!

Ray

What?

[he climbs on top of the sofa] See you in the clouds, ground walkers!

[Henry jumps spread eagle style, but instead of flying, he ends up falling down, landing flat on his face, causing Schwoz and Charlotte to laugh]

Schwoz

I can't believe you thought you could fly!

You literally fell for it!

Not cool, Schwoz!

S5 Part 2: A New Darkness

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RRyker

Arc.

AArc

Ryker!

RRyker

Ciara.

Schwoz?

Schwoz

Hi.

[looks at the audience] And Captain Man... as the hero.

S5 Knight & Danger

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[Schwoz is now in Charlotte's arms when lights goes back on]

What is wrong with you?!

Schwoz

I'm afraid of the dark.

Well, there's light now!

Schwoz

Sometimes it's just nice to be held.

S5 Holey Moley

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So how'd the mission go?

Yeah, did you guys capture Slappy Pete?

Yeah, we got him, but he slapped me pretty good. Is there a mark? [shows the slap hand mark to the others]

Ehhhh....

Schwoz

So red.

Tiny handed freak.

I didn't know that Slappy Pete has 6 fingers.

He was holding a tiny little hot dog when he slapped me. Tiny handed, hot dog eatin freak.

S5 Massage Chair

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[Piper screams in absolute shock as she finds out Ray and Henry's secret identities]

[shocked] Oh, my God! My brother is Kid Danger!

No, I'm not, I mean... No, he's not. I mean, no, we're not. Who's your brother? He's probably awesome, but he's not me. You should leave!

[to Captain Man] And you, must be Henry's boss from Junk N Stuff.

I sure am! You got a smart sister, Henry.

Dude!

Yeah, that's your brother. I'm his boss. Make yourself at home. I will be riiight back. [leaves]

KDKid Danged

Wait, why are you being so calm about this, and where are you going?

[to Kid Danger] Who else knows about this? Does Mom know?

No.

Does Dad know?!

No! And no, they don't. Okay, you can't tell them. You can't tell anybody about this because no one else knows.

[Charlotte enters.]

Henry! You and Ray have got ti stop playing with the break room...

Charlotte?!

Piper?!

You said no one else knows!

Uh... I don't know. I don't know anything. I just woke up here.This isn't my house! Where am I? [chuckles nervously]

Okay, fine! Charlotte knows, and is a really terrible liar, but no one else knows.

[appears by the elevator] Hey, Henry! The package thief was your Dad! Hey, Piper. Check out how great my fake eyebrows -- [realizes] Oh my God, what's Piper doing here?!

Jasper knows too?!

Okay, yes! Jasper knows, and so does Charlotte, but that... that's it!

[Schwoz comes down th tubes, and sees Henry's sister.]

Schwoz

Up the tube! [goes up the tube]

Was that our new neighbor from Germany?

Well...

'Cause he also looks like our Italian plumber.

That's actually a funny story...

And the guy who fell through our ceiling and landed on top of me!

Okay, yes, he's all those people, all right? And probably some other guys that I can't remember right now. [his phone rings] Hang kn a sec. [answers the call] What, Schwoz?

Schwoz

[on phone] Your sister is in the Man Cave! I think she might have seen me.

Yeah. I know she saw you. Get back here, click.

Schwoz

[on phone] Click.

S5 Sister Twister, Part 2

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I don't need a new kitchen un 6 to 8 weeks, I need a kitchen today!